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Trying to be the nice guy/make friends - feedback greatly appreciated

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by nelloJ, Sep 3, 2017.

  1. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    I think feeling lonely at times goes with the teenage years. Tbh with all the biological and chemical changes going on at once it's a rollercoaster mind-f*ck for kids to experience. Anyway we all have to go through it...

    It's probably not a millennial thing to say, but when I was your age we were just told to man up. One of the best resources I've ever come across for manning up is theartofmanliness. It's an inspiration.

    Work hard, play hard and leave yourself as little time for self-criticism and feeling lonely as possible.

    I'm sure you'll do just fine.
     
    nelloJ likes this.
  2. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    whats the heart of manliness?
     
  3. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, it's the "art of manliness". It is a website. Just put it all together without spaces, add the usual at the end and you're there.

    I am not able to post the direct link.
     
  4. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    I'll give it a shot and let ya know
     
    Plutonium likes this.
  5. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    What is this website? So many interesting posts, is this kind of like NoFap?
     
  6. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    It's probably more NoFem than NoFap, but a perfect compliment to NoFap for men.

    Brett, the guy behind the site, just helps men rediscover what being a real man is all about. He gives practical tips on almost every subject under the sun often digging out old sources written before men started being encouraged to be increasingly feminized.

    I typed in "loneliness" into the search box and it came up with lots of interesting stuff.

    I hope you find it useful. It is not about machismo or sexist in any way, it's about simply enjoying being a man.
     
    nelloJ likes this.
  7. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    I've been on this site for the past 20 minutes. There's lots of handy stuff I've never heard about...I think it appeals more to white males though haahha
     
  8. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    Being a man has NOTHING to do with what race or ethnicity you happen to be by accident of birth. Being a man is centered around the 3 P's - provide, protect & procreate.

    That Brett happens to be white is completely irrelevant (except, perhaps, on some of his clothing advice).
     
  9. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, just re-read my post and it comes across far more pointed than I had intended. I'm not a big fan of identity politics as you can probably now tell. For me it's all about the individual person, and not what group categories they belong to.

    Anyway, I hope you find a good way forward.
     
  10. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    nonono it's fine, you made a very good point there my friend. I just felt so lost in some of the posts (despite how interesting they are), and I assumed it was because I'm far from the stereotypical "man"...that most white people are. I reallyyyy hope I'm not sounding racist or anything like that
     
  11. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    No, of course not. And needless to say Brett is not making any judgement on gay vs straight or expecting every man to be an alpha male lumberjack or whatever! The site is not about making Nietzschean supermen! :)

    Imho I don't think most white men fit any male stereotype. They are just as varied as men in other ethnic groups.
     
    nelloJ likes this.
  12. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

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    Awesome. Very well said, Brother.
     
  13. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    That sounds like the law of "attraction," no pun intended.
     
    nelloJ likes this.
  14. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    By that u mean?
     
  15. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    I mean that you can be able to attract friends from the power of positive thinking, and the power of your mind
     
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  16. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    I guess. But the issue is that there are obstacles I cannot seem to overcome in trying to open up or get my friends to open up I guess. Maybe they just don't respect me?
     
  17. Third_Eye

    Third_Eye Guest

    If that's the case, then don't worry about them
     
    nelloJ and Tonytone like this.
  18. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I can really relate to your loneliness and lack of friends. I also had the complication of moving every year or two. I generally made one "friend" in each school. I was typically the youngest and smallest kid in my class, which did not help me find a .place. There were 5 elementary and 3 high schools. College took 3 campus experiences and 6 years to get a degree. I met a lot of guys, but never got very close to any of them. I still have issues with integrating. I think it is complicated by my identification with and concern for underdogs in a society of over excellers. As an older, white, suburban, committed, conservative Christian, I do not fit anywhere. I have learned to pass for what I look like, but occasionally I have to speak out.
     
    nelloJ likes this.
  19. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  20. nelloJ

    nelloJ Fapstronaut

    I think that's quite respectable in my opinion. You made good friends that you cared for, whoever this underdog is/was, he would've appreciated your kindness and friendship. You made a positive impact on other people's lives, and should feel proud of it!
     

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