Trying to become human (Journal)

okay friend, but i naturally don't get any urges of masturbation itself but if we talk about masturbation induced by porn yes i think i m addicted to that kind of masturbation so by leaving porn i am also leaving masturbation. By no porn i mean no porn and no masturbation induced by porn or any lewd stuff. By doing this i'll also get the clarity of whether i am addicted to masturbation or not. I'll keep you guys updated with my journey.

 

RELAPSED LAST NIGHT DUE TO LONLINESS
STARTING AGAIN FROM TODAY.
I am not going to give up until i beat this addiction, I am not a slave, I will try again and again till my last breath.

 

Yes friend I'll surely try that. Thank you so much for the suggestion friend.

 

Relapsed again, starting again right now.

 

yes friend there is only one trigger for me and that is staying awake late at night and the solution for that is to work in daytime so that tiredness could help me get asleep fast but i am not following my routine but i do started my studies today so that i could get mental exhausted and fall asleep faster tonight.

 

I am fed up with this habit, that's it, i am ending this evil right now, from now on I will not act on my urges, I'll never give in to those urges even if it kills me. I am ending this thing right now, I'll be back after breaking my longest streak that is 24 days my streak will start from tomorrow that is 15 Feb 2022 and I'll see you guys on 11th march that is the 25th day and believe me guys i am not making a false promise this time, i have made many false promises in the past but this time i am not making a false promise it's a promise to my fellow warriors. I want people to leave their addiction and become the master of their own self and do something good in their life. I promise guys I'll be back on 11th march i swear it on my life. Till then i wish you also defeat your addiction and stay strong.

 

Thank u friend, I'll remember your advice
I'll see you on 11th march.

Stay strong friend.

 

Hello guys i am back just wanted tell you guys that I didn't watch porn and masturbate but i did intentionally watched a video just a while ago on youtube which created lust inside me.
I am considering this a relapse. I broke my promise( guilt is there) but i am happy that i did 21 days of no pmo and i will always try to beat this addiction. I am resetting my counter because i watched that video intentionally but i didn't fap so yes i am not going to watch porn and masturbate after resetting my counter. I hope you all are doing well in your journey.

 

The day is going good i woke up and went to my college i came back at around 1 pm, had my lunch, now I'll just take a quick 15 min walk and then I'll do my studies. I hope you all are going good in your journeys. Feel free to share your experiences and thoughts in this journal

 

Overall this day was okay but there are still many things which are needed to be done. I'll see you guys tomorrow

 

Watched porn last night and fapped. Resetting the counter again, I am not going to give up.

 

Thank you friend

 

From today I'll regularly write and update my journal even if i don't do nothing I'll write every crucial detail in this thread.
I watched porn and fapped last night but now i have to be more vigilant of the chaser effect. As i am writing this I don't feel any sexual urge within me. I am going to college. I'll see you guys later, More power to all fellow warriors.

 

Fortunately no sexual urges or any sign of chaser effect. After i came home from college, i ate my lunch and then i slept for 2hrs after waking up i went to the market, then i spend time with my family. At around 8 pm i ate my dinner then i went for a walk with my parents. Overall the day was okayish but i am happy that i didn't experience any sign of chaser effect throughout the day. I am not feeling sleepy right now so i am thinking of studying. I just want to share one quick thing about my last streak, the last streak was of 21 days(my highest streak is of 24days) and it was different because i didn't felt those massive urges and anxiety attack and shortness of breath which i experienced before in my 24 days streak so that is something which i think is good, i don't have any guilt and regrets of relapsing but i feel that something is changed now, i am feeling something different after relapsing because back in the day whenever i relpased it created sadness but now i feel that i can go even higher than 24 days maybe 40 days or 50days or maybe 100days. I feel peace inside, i don't know why but i really think that i will be free from this addiction very soon. Whatever happens but i will never give up, i'll always fight against this addiction, i'll never accept slavery.

 

Today went well, very slight urges almost negligible, went to college, had my lunch, then rest for 30min, then i studied for 1 hr and passed time the rest of the day. i am feeling sleepy right now so i am going to sleep now, i'll see you guys tomorrow.

 

Relapsed