Trying to get rid of my social anxiety

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Fly310562, Jun 20, 2021.

  1. Fly310562

    Fly310562 Fapstronaut

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    Tired of being alone all the time. In the comfort of my own room because I’m too afraid to step out of the house fearing that someone will actually speak to me or me having to speak to them. I can do small things like ordering food at the drive through for example. There are rare times where they catch me off guard and crack a joke or say something to me that has nothing to do with the food/order. I freeze because my hearts drops and my mind goes to 100 with a million different things to say and I don’t know which one to pick so I just laugh awkwardly not knowing what the hell to say lol.

    I’m 28 now and my life is passing me by. I’ve wasted so much time and it took me so long to realize that I’m not going to wake up and miraculously be free of my social anxiety. I have to take action regardless of how much it scares me. So I’ve been thinking of taking an acting class. I have done my research and many people that used to live with social anxiety credit acting for finding their confidence.

    I’d like to know if any of you guys have done acting before and how it’s benefited you. And if any of you have had social anxiety and how you overcame it
     
    Buddhism Is True likes this.
  2. I use to be extremely anxious when I was 12-16, like I mean I couldn't even order food, thank bus drivers, show manners or talk to strangers without my heart absolutely racing. I'm 18 now and I've drastically improved - I can almost effortlessly talk to most strangers, I'm the one cracking jokes and catching people off guard now, I keep my head up and observe instead of stare soullessly on my phone and I approach girls every now and again. I changed by making friends and hanging out a lot and by overall challenging my anxiety. I started with super easy challenges like smiling and nodding to people I walk past all the way up to scarier challenges like approaching women and asking for their numbers. Don't get me wrong, I've have some very awkward moments and embarrassed myself a lot more times than not - but that's just part of growth.

    Acting classes will definitely help you - probably the best way to develop social skills too. I might take some lessons too. My dad took acting lessons to build his personality when he was young and it actually became problematic as it made him WAY too extroverted. Also, he said the chicks at acting schools are usually super hot (I heard Clint Eastwood took up acting just for the chicks and only stayed when he realised he had potential).
     
    Tristan Lancaster likes this.
  3. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    I have to admit that I still have some social anxiety but it really depends who I am with when I'm around men I tend to be more confident and talkative, but around women I am the opposite. I get really shy and nervous around women I guess this is why I am single. This one time when I was 17 I was at a party and a girl there kept referring to me as cutie I kept turning away and bowing my head blocking my face with the bill of my cap so that way she couldn't see me blush. I don't know why but to me emotions are very personal so I don't really like "opening up" as people call it I know emotions are important especially in relationships I can feel emotions but I am very reluctant to talk about them or even show them. It's not that I'm "emotionally unavailable" I just don't like revealing too many of my emotions all at once if that makes any sense.
     
    Tristan Lancaster and AlphaGod like this.
  4. Fly310562

    Fly310562 Fapstronaut

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    Happy for you that you’re much more confident now. And thanks for the tips. I’ll try with the small things just like you did.

    I’m the same way with girls. I’ll blush when they compliment me. If me and a girl lock eyes I’ll pretend like I don’t see them coming my way. I’m not as anxious with guys either but I’m still just as quiet as I don’t have any social skills.
     
  5. Stress, anxiety and depression May be linked to something that has occurred in your past that still influences your mind and you're the only one that can kick it out. It's possible if this may be the reason. However, staying alone and being an introvert makes you go into deep thinking, which creates new issues that aren't there. Socialize in your own way! Don't stay at house 24 hours. Travel. Discover. Live your life today and stop wasting your time. Do it and it'll disappear.
     
  6. Fly310562

    Fly310562 Fapstronaut

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    It’s definitely from my past. My parents had an extremely toxic relationship. The images and sounds still haunt me to this day. I’m trying to overcome it and find my confidence. I exist but I’m not living and it’s time I stop bs’ing myself.

    A friend from work invited me over to his house for the 4th. I was just gonna go hang out with my cousin that day because I’m comfortable with him but now I’m thinking I should go stop by my friends house for a bit.
     
  7. You need your own time and space. Be out going. It's natural. Whatever happened to you in the past is stored in your AMYGDALA with the event EMOTIONS, so whenever you hear or see something you don't like it gets TRIGGERED and when this happens the stress, depression and anxiety RETURNS. Introduce new people to your life who you trust so you could REPLACE these old emotions. Care much about yourself. Re-wire your brain and trust me it'll disappear. If you could help your parents without having any stress please do but focus mainly on yourself. Everything now is in your hand. Good luck!
     
  8. Fly310562

    Fly310562 Fapstronaut

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    Gonna go for it. What stops me from going out is that I always feel like I’m going to be awkward/embarrass myself. Maybe I will and maybe I won’t. I don’t give myself a chance. Even if I do it’s a good thing because it’s part of my growth
     
  9. Understanding yourself without judging yourself is important. I was raised by a family of introverts. My father shamed and humiliated me constantly. This made me afraid to be around other people because I thought they would judge me too. So I forgive myself for being socially anxious - I have every reason to be this way.

    However, like you, I want to change. This can happen at whichever pace you feel is best. Make plans to take specific actions that you know you will be able to do. You don't have to go out clubbing or do the most terrifying thing imaginable. You can warm up to these more intense activities over time, but sooner or later you will have to go outside of your comfort zone. And as you do, make sure you reward yourself and congratulate yourself constantly for putting in the effort to change.

    For example, I recently went to a social event that I was very terrified of. But I did it, and I was still alive at the end, so I consider that a win. I even made a potential friend. I believe small changes are enough to facilitate big changes over time. So go ahead, you got this.
     
    <script> likes this.
  10. Buddhism Is True

    Buddhism Is True Fapstronaut

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    I took improv comedy classes for several months when I was in my early 30s. Very helpful, though I never liked being on stage. Pick something fun that gets you out and around people once or twice a week. My latest kick is volleyball. Exercise classes or yoga are a good idea too. The natural result of regular contact with people is the development of social and relationship skills. It’ll (likely) be extremely unpleasant at first. Be patient, have faith, and keep at it. The world is full of people that want and need new friends. The world is full of single women who want what you have to offer. Make meeting new people a regular habit, just like exercise.
     

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