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Trying to recover

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Okaoakaoak, Aug 23, 2018.

  1. Okaoakaoak

    Okaoakaoak New Fapstronaut

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    First I’ll try to tell about what needs to be known, guess maybe too long but really hope can get some suggestions. So I first masterbated when I was lik 11, it was just orgasm, without any porn or pictures, I don’t even think I was thinking about anything, I just liked the way it felt, the orgasm. I started masterbating looking at girls, mostly bald girls and girls who have glasses, think they are my fetishes when I was around 14, still no porn at all, and I never really fapped for more, I had it under control. One thing I noticed was even if I had crushes for girls it was like hard to horny for normal girls, but if I see a girl with a short hair i get horny. I started porn when I was 16, and it was after my exams....and during that time I also got to know about transgender and stuff, so I did get some kind of an attraction to it and started learning more, as more time went I saw my self fantasizing about being a girl and masterbating to those stuff. So much so I did nothing but fapping for about 2 days in Jan last year, but as school began it slowly went away as I got more busy. I still did fap like twice/once a week mostly to my fetishes. it was mostly YouTube videos of bald girls,girls with glasses and sometimes to straight porn, or to girls masterbating. As time went on I again started noticing that maybe I can’t get horny for girls but I didn’t worry too much at the time. A month ago my fetish for bald girls got too much that I started to like fantasize about having sex with bald female nuns who shave their heads, I guess this is very weird, so I started to go back to another fetish, my fetish for transgender. That slowly started to grow into sissy porn, as hypnosis and fantasizing about girls cloth started to overtake I really became like fapping only for that for about 2 weeks, I tried anal play with my hands and did try to cum on my face, but after that I felt like shit and wanted to stop, this all happened 4 days before my final exams. I studied the next few days but I relapsed on the night of the day before my exams, I fapped more than thrice and I really think I fucked up my exams, that led me to fap even more as I continuesly did it for the next week. Though I did feel anger when the humiliation thing came in, guess u know what I mean. I was just so depressed and sad, but one day after fapping I decided enough is enough I need to get out of this, and then came across NoFap. I haven’t viewed ny porn or had an orgasm or has masterbated from that day, I’m on my day 8 of the streak. So is nofap for 90 days good for me, or do I need to do anything different, or should I try masterbating to just normal girls, return to my fetish of bald girls etc, or try and find a girlfriend, I’m 18 now and I haven’t had a girlfriend yet, please hope you can give some advice for me, thanks
     
  2. frazebam_isnberg

    frazebam_isnberg Fapstronaut

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    I`m only 15 so you might not value my input as high as others, but I`ll try my best.
    I started around the same time but with pictures right away. I moved on to porn about half a year later. I don`t know when I got into transgendered person (transgender) porn but probably around one and half years ago. I can relate to everything you said about the sissy stuff. This is kind of...unpleasant to admit but I've actually cummed on my face several times. Every time I felt like shit afterwards but eventually came back to it.
    Anal play? Yup. Also a bunch. (To be honest, though, I'm not as opposed to this as I am to most other fetishes, because there is actually physical pleasure to be had from it. Every guy has a prostate and its stimulation feels pretty good to a lot of guys. Either I'm one of them or this is just my porn-brain talking.)

    I really think going without any porn is the best way to go. Many people are addicted to only straight porn and that's a problem as well so I would't go back to "normal" porn, if I was you. I recommend reading "Your Brain On Porn", it's a book and also a website. Quite informative.
    And I'm sure as hell no expert on girlfriends but I highly recommend reading "The Game" by Neil Strauss. It's fairly easy to read and extremely interesting.

    I hope this helps and all the best to you on our journey
     
  3. Okaoakaoak

    Okaoakaoak New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate, well I’m replying only now bc I went into that path again. Life’s just got so bad and being lonely often makes me to turn towards porn. I’m gonna try and resist these urges better this time, hope you’re doing well.
     

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