Trying to stop masturbating and the strength to do it must come from me

I started masturbating when I was young and in primary school and this is as far back as I can remember, I used to ask to go to the toilet in school so I could escape class and masturbate. From a young age I was watching porn on my laptop and I knew about live webcam sex but I always said that once I could I would be paying for webcam sex with a webcam model. My dad died when I was 14 and this is the first time, I paid for webcam sex with a webcam model and it gave me a thrill because I was only 14 and I was not technically aloud to do this. I was addicted to this and did not know the science behind this and that it would cause me problems in the future like it has now but still to this day I pay for webcam sex and I used to spend literally my whole weekly wage on this within getting paid like an hour or two before, this meant that because I spent all my wage I had to do things like walk to work and back because I had no money for a bus pass or for fags or alcohol or to have a social life. I have cut this down by a lot now and usually I pay like maybe £5 or £10 a week maybe sometimes like £20 but is much better considering I would spend about £200 a week on webcam sex. I have learned that the thinking process when you want to bust a nut is completely different to after you bust the nut and this is why I always feel bad now about doing it each time I masturbate even though I spend at least 1 hour per day max watching porn after work now. When I first started watching porn I was interested in actually having sex and interested in porn but now it has evolved in to non-sexual interests and this involves paying to speak to a mistress/dominatrix where the webcam performer does not have to do anything like get naked and the money she charges can be anywhere from £3 - £4 a minute so that is really easy money when you think about it and even though I hate it I still find myself later chasing that same thrill/high or experience again. I have found that I only really like to pay for stuff like humiliation which would involve the girl acting bitchy, wearing PVC/Latex, humiliating/laughing at me but for some reason it turns me on and I don’t know why but need to stop doing this because this is the reason I cannot get a girlfriend and never have had one. I am trying to get help for this off the mental health team and my GP/Doctor because one day I would like to get a house, girlfriend and hopefully have a kid or kids but not sure how this would happen if I keep doing this because I have had opportunities to have sex with girls in the past and I was unable to get an erection because I was nervous to tell the girl what I am in to because I did not think she would be in to this type of stuff or understand why I like it so I have never been able to do it even when I have paid for an escort in the past I had a similar scenario because I could not get an erection and I felt shame and uncomfortable telling the escort what I was interested in. I have also noticed that for years I have gotten in to having my nipples played with which feels good and enhances the feeling but I do hate it.

I know that this has to come from me but is the hardest thing to stop. Would anyone be able to give me advice on this for how I could stop fapping? I had a brain injury in 2019 and move to Essex for a fresh start and this is the only thing that gets me depressed now because I have struggled with this for years, a doctor said to me he thinks it could be obsessive compulsive disorder and I do agree with him because it controls my life.