Turning help into harm

I'm not so sure an interview with a porn star is the best recovery material. I could see that sort of thing being triggering for me. However, there's another issue here: dealing with triggers in general. Addiction triggers exist everywhere, and as a recovering addict you're going to have to learn to deal with them. When I come in contact with a trigger, here's the rough process that I go through:

1. I identify the trigger for what it is. This is usually just a verbal acknowledgement in my head. Something like "after hearing/seeing that, I have the urge to masturbate".
2. I focus on something more productive. I know I can try Journaling, posting on this forum, exercising, going for a walk, calling a friend or family member, working on a project, practicing a musical instrument, reading a book, or anything that will take my mind somewhere healthier.
3. I forgive myself for being an addict, and for having the desire to watch porn. Perhaps this is the most important step. You need to be compassionate with yourself, and understand that you're going to have urges sometimes, and that that's okay. You're recovering, and you're becoming a healthier person in lots of different ways (especially if you do step 2).

No, that won't work. Porn does exist. However, what purpose does porn serve in your life? People claim that they watch porn for many different reasons. For some, they feel a lack of sexual satisfaction in their lives. For others, it's about relieving stress at the end of the day. For others, still, it's about loneliness and feelings of isolation.

However, I think that the reasons for watching porn listed above aren't really reasons: they're excuses. Porn doesn't satisfy you sexually, but leaves you feeling sexually frustrated. If it's really a sexual experience, then why are you by yourself when you do it?
Porn doesn't relieve stress, it just creates more. The "stress relief" you get from watching porn is analogous to wearing clothes that are too small for you all day just so that you can feel good when you take them off.
Porn doesn't make you feel any less lonely. In fact, people usually isolate themselves from others when watching porn.

The thing is, your addiction to porn is really an addiction to dopamine. Watching porn gives you a rush of dopamine, and your addiction to porn is really just an addiction to that rush. When you watch porn, it only feels good because you are satisfying the demand in your brain for a particular neurotransmitter, and the reason your brain developed that demand is because you've watched so much porn. I find it helpful to view my addiction in this manner, because it reminds me of the reasons I want to quit. I want to quit to be free. I don't want to be a dopamine slave. I want to have a healthy brain. Similarly, I think you'll have an easier time if you think about the reasons you want to quit, and forgive yourself for being an addict. Once you do that, you'll realize that quitting isn't a burden, it's a gift. Practice healthier life habits, practice self-compassion and self-love, try to understand what your addiction does and how it works, and you can get through this.

 

If it was Brie Larson, I saw the same thing and I felt horrible because I saw her crying and instead of hearing her pleas, I reveled in her degradation and went right to her porn and chose to victimize her over and over again

 

Curiosity killed the cat.With all the talk on the news about Trumps alleged romp with a porn star I sure would have searched for her videos if I wasn't determined to beat my habit.

 

The best way to beat this is to turn off your computer. Without the internet there is no porn. Of course you will have to find a 100 more productive things to do with your time besides look at porn, and I hope you realize that's the benefit of turning off your computer (or phone.)

 

I can relate since I did something similar once. Maybe it's best to not watch former porn stars sharing their story. But for me triggers can come out of nowhere.

I'm not sure about that because someone can find p-subs without the internet. Of course, without the internet, it's more difficult but it's not impossible to relapse.

Hiding is a bad idea. Being intimidated makes it greater than it actually is.
Meditating and positive affirmations might help.

Something else you could try is mental noting.
I learnt about it last week and I think it can be applied to those moments when you are tempted.

Here's a video that explains what mental noting is:



Another thing that might help is getting to the root of your addiction. Think about why are you an addict. What was it that lead you to be addicted in the first place