Two dates no touching

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by superninjared, Oct 30, 2019.

  1. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    I finally broke my unlucky streak and managed to get a second date with the same girl! I know it sounds ridiculous saying it but its been at least 2-3 years since i last met the same girl twice... However both dates have been completely hands off there has been no touching at all just the basic hug to end both dates... The first date was 3 in one we had coffee then we went to an exhibition and then we had a drink afterwards. At the exhibition i suppose there could have potentially been a way to interact with her more but i was too damn nervous and i felt like i was sweating a bit even though she might not have noticed...

    The second date was in the cinema and then we had a meal at a restaurant. I was still unable to touch her at all in any way and the dates are starting to feel like friend zone dates that are not leading to a relationship or even sex... I guess there might be a third date but at the moment i don't really know what to do or how to act. It's hard to tell how interested she is in me at the moment which is why i am still talking to other girls and setting up dates just in case. Because at the moment my priority is probably more towards sex than a relationship and i'm not really sure where these dates are going so i need to have other opportunities that i can hopefully practice and do better on...
     
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  2. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Not much touching, this girl is not that into you. Move on.
     
  3. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    Thats not entirely true it could be nerves as well. I have been on dates with girls who were interested but because we were both too nervous or the situation did not allow for it there was not much physical contact. I recall one girl telling me the next day that she thought i was not interested in her which was not true... And the fact that she agreed to a second date means that there is still hope. Bit if nothing happens then whatever i have a ton of other girls lined up. Still feels like a waste though...
     
  4. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    It's over... It has been about two days and she has not responded to my last text message which means she's ghosting me... In the past i would have been completely beat up and defeated because of something like this but i don't really feel anything. She was cool but i have got so damn good at picking up phone numbers i have so many options lined up its ridiculous. My problem is that up until now i have been unable to connect, click or create a spark with women. This also includes not being able to touch girls properly or at all. But when i look back to past experiences i have done all of that and had success. But i have been unable to replicate that on every date i go on which is why my success rate is so bad...

    It is because of my failure to create a spark with women which is why nothing ever happens and why i have never been able to get a girlfriend. But thanks to YouTube i think i found some solutions. There are so many good dating coaches on there its a godsend!

    3 Mistakes That Prevent You From Getting a Girlfriend

    The 3 mistakes are:

    1. Thinking that you're not good enough...yet.
    2. Expecting a spark to happen all by itself, with your ideal type of woman.
    3. Not taking things to the next level with women who like you.

    So, what you need to do is start doing is the OPPOSITE of what you’ve been doing up until now.

    The OPPOSITE of the 3 mistakes above is as follows:

    1. Knowing that you are good enough for many women right now.
    2. Creating a spark when you meet a woman that you want to have as your girlfriend.
    3. Taking things to the next level with her, so you can then enjoy sex, love and a relationship.

    Also found some videos on touching on dates and getting a girlfriend etc... Eager to try some of this out the next time i go on a date. Because my whole life i have been sticking to a neutral scripted routine that does not work. And while guys my age are getting laid, having relationships and starting families. All i'm doing is stockpiling phone numbers (pen pals), going on dates and having nothing happen. And relapsing, paying for escorts and finding porn substitutes. Its pathetic...
     
    Get_It likes this.
  5. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    If it takes her two or three dates to get handsy, that's too slow for me I'm moving on.
     
  6. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    She did not do anything or even try to make anything happen but neither did i.... Relationships take two people to work. I am over her already like i said before i have so many more potential dates one weekend is not enough to meet them all. With what i know now about touching and creating a spark i probably could have made something happen on one of those dates. Oh well better luck next time.
     
    Get_It likes this.
  7. I think youre way overthinking everything. Just play it cool, be natural and have fun. Everything doesnt have to be some calculated strategy. You dont want to come off like youre trying too hard.
     
    superninjared likes this.
  8. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    Yes i know and that is why i have been unable to get a girlfriend for so long. Because i am subconsciously making it more difficult than its supposed to be and working a lot harder than most guys. When really i should be more cool and natural as you put it. I have girls texting me all day and really i should be able to turn at least one of them into a girlfriend. Not all of them are super hot either in fact one of them said that i have a lot of options to choose from. We have not even been on a date yet because of this reason. It is so silly just thinking about it i'm not even a bad looking guy if i was then i would not have all these girls asking me out on dates. I have been putting some of them off because i just don't have the time to meet everyone yet.
     
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  9. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Are you looking for a super hot chic?
     
  10. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    Nope i'm not even overly obsessed about looks at this point. Short term all i want is to go on dates and have sex. It is what normal people have been doing their entire lives while i have been struggling and using porn as a substitute. A lot of the girls i'm talking to are probably open to having something casual but up until now i had no idea how to create a spark on a date which is why they all failed. At the moment i would be more than satisfied having sex/relationship with an average girl or even someone who is a bit overweight. The important thing is to gain experience so that when i have more confidence i will be able to pick and choose and date anyone.
     
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  11. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    I went out on a date last night with a different girl and i finally broke through the irrational touch barrier! It was a lot easier than i thought it was going to be. Luckily she made the decision for us to sit next to each other on stools because i thought it was going to end the same way it always does with us sitting opposite. But even if it did go that way i still had a plan for touching. I just asked a relevant question within context and got her to show me her hands. It worked well she was fine with it and it did not feel awkward. And she even touched me when she was making a point on something which is always a good sign that the other person is interested because nobody is going to touch you like that for no reason.
     
  12. primaljade

    primaljade Fapstronaut

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    I was just going to say "be sure you sit NEXT to her, not across from her". This latest post is pretty much how it happens when things are going good. If you setup the date so you have this table to cross in order to go over and touch her hands, it adds an annoying barrier to get even minimally physical.
     
  13. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    And it was all for nothing... She waited two days to tell me that she thought there was no vibe... Incredibly frustrating... No vibe, spark, click, connection. Same old BS what does it even mean? A date with touching, laughter, conversation, jokes, minimal silences and still nothing happens. Getting a girlfriend or even sex seems to be the hardest thing in life period. Never before have i encountered such difficulty in anything. Even overweight and girls who you would not consider that attractive play hard to get its insane. Having a constant stream of potential dates means nothing if all the dates are like ground hog day and end with ghosting. At this point all i can think about is asking even more dangerous (sexual related) questions on dates. And touching even more and being even more playful so that the dates don't feel identical to previous dates that girls go on. If that does not work then i'm out of ideas because i have been improving myself a lot and still no real change.

    And the thoughts of relapsing are starting to return yay.......
     
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  14. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    Things aren't going to go to the next level on their own. You need to initiate the things that you want to happen.
     
  15. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    That's what i thought i was doing when i initiated physical touch with her for the first time. And then during the conversation she also touched me back i thought that was a clear sign of interest... But to get ghosted 2 days later makes no sense. So i cant even trust all the signs of a good date anymore i have to find something else. Laughter, and a good conversation is simply not enough it would seem. It really sucks i have had a few dates like this the girl even offers to buy another round of drinks if she was bored or not interested surely she would just make an excuse to leave right? Why stick around and use her own money to buy more drinks if she does not feel a connection?
     
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  16. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    She may have been faking it to get you to buy more drinks for her. Either way, not worth staying with that one. My rule is that if a woman offers to pay for something, she can put up or shut up, otherwise I pay.
     
  17. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    Nah i don't think she was faking it. I bought the first round of drinks there was no obligation to buy more drinks she's the one who suggested it. There was also a time constraint because she had to go to a house party later. I don't know what it was i doubt that it was an attraction thing because she did seem interested. I can only think of two things that it might have been. I was late to the date because there were problems with the trains and then it took me a while to find the place. And then we had to walk around for a few minutes looking for a place that was not as busy and we did not get to go to the place that she initially wanted to go to because i was late and it was too busy. But still the venue we went to was good and we got good seats so i don't know?
     

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