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Two things

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Eric8475, Dec 19, 2017.

  1. Eric8475

    Eric8475 Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    one thing that I noticed since I've started rebooting is that I tend to look more than before. Not ogling, just looking. I guess I was always this way but now I seem to be more aware of it. There are absolutely no fantasies involved, I just love seeing a beautiful woman, whereas beautiful lies in the eyes of the beholder. ( I tend to find beauty where other men don't share my views ). I sometimes turn around and look after them, to get another view, but again no thoughts, no fantasies. Oh well, sure there are thoughts, but harmless ones, like, what a cute face, what a beautiful woman, and so on. At least I think they are harmless. Also their eyes, you can see goodness behind a woman's eyes, and caring. I just love women, I can't help it. Just like a beautiful sunset or sunrise, a beautiful beach.
    Should I do something against it? I really struggle with it if I should do something against it or not, it's not compulsive it's just that one sees women everywhere.

    Another thing that, well not really bothers me, but I feel kind of awkward. When I hear you guys struggling, not managing a few days of no PMO, reading your stories about the hell you are going through I just wonder why for me it isn't a struggle at all. Sometimes in the morning I could use a good........ but there are no urges. I didn't install a porn filter, nor porn blocker, I just don't look at porn anymore and don't want to, ideally for ever. I was a heavy porn user for a loooooooong time, ( I'm 39 ) M'ed sometimes several times a day, so it is kind of strange that it is, easy to quit. I'm at day 32 I think, I don't count anymore, I don't have any goals, maybe the 90 days, but I don't want to stop there. I don't have a GF right now, nor a friend with benefits, so I'm doing hard mode.
    Don't get me wrong, I sure prefer this way than the other way around, but I feel kind of awkward.
     

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