Two weeks in to my reboot

You can decide today to be a better person for her or if the damage is too great for someone else. No matter what happens next the only way out of your mess is to dedicate yourself to never being in the situation where you are hiding things from a SO. Living a lie means worrying all of the time about being caught.

Its not about her now its about being a better you. Also know that there are so many women who are looking for emotionally stable men that if you are your best self that you won't be lonely for long.

 

You might get better response or more response in the Rebooting in a relationship forum if you post there. As an so to a porn addict I can tell you that if you want even the slightest chance for this relationship to continue and to grow then you must commit to being 100% honest. Even then, it might not make it. You have been lying to your so for years while you gave your sexual energy and money to other women. That is devastating. Look up betrayal trauma, really see what you have done to her. Get the book “ worthy of her trust “ excellent book! Get the dvd Helping her heal”. Understand that she may still never want to make this work. As an addict, you have been wrapped up in your addiction and really have no idea what she has been living with. My husband thought he was a great husband because he didn’t “ cheat” or “ abuse his wife “. Until he got clean, he never understood the true destruction his addiction had on himself and our family. He is a different man now. Every day I see changes. Educate yourself on what your addiction does and how you can fight for recovery. Your brain on porn is a good book as it Treating pornography addiction by dr Kevin skinner.

 

You have created the situation with your behavior. There is nothing that you can "SAY" to change it. All you can do is learn from the situation that you are in and change it. Be 100% honest with her and don't expect her to believe you. She shouldn't. What she will believe is your behavior going forward. That said you have to at least be ready for the fact that she may not be able to move forward with you. But by changing you have a chance.