Uhh.."Do one thing every day that scares you." challenge? :-)

Day 4

Today's task:
Give up on comics/music/movies until I'm done with my reboot. This isn't a one day task but if I start it I can keep the momentum going. I can't completely give up though because I need some distractions when urges hit. I wanna make sure I keep it to a minimum and put it in a weekend slot. I am so addicted to them that I waste days together on this stuff. I can't do my work without putting on background music. I read comics until food becomes secondary. It's just plain disgusting. They're just dopamine bags and I fear being away from them. But I need to keep my hands off them today.

Result: Managed to stay away from them but I've got an abnormal craving to go back to them. I've got addictions all over the place! I will stay away from them no matter what!

 

Oh man, I know that feeling. I have so much trouble with that too and it's uncomfortable when I go out with a big group of friends. I don't like the atmosphere but I don't like feeling like an alien either. There are times when I will have to go there and I'd like to just blend in. Good to see you overcome your fear by facing it buddy, keep me updated about how it goes

 

True buddy, that's an amazing way of building confidence! It's high time I worked on my social anxiety!

 

Wonderful advice, I need to learn this skill, gotta keep trying

 

Woah another awesome post from you before I could finish typing my reply to the earlier one!! Loved the Mind, Body and Spirit saying, it's like we're giving every part of us the importance it deserves. I've noticed that ever since my decision to quit PMO, I'm leaning towards gaining knowledge rather than trying to drown myself in fiction all the time. It's a good feeling, watching stuff about the universe and it's making. Wonderful post bro, your words are guiding hands

Wow, I have similar feelings when I'm making an attempt at socializing, I'm writing it down in the other post, I'll post it later.

 

Thank you, gonna check it out! True buddy, I think a place I'd fit in would be good to work on my socializing skills

 

Hey man, how did yesterday's task go?

 

Congratulations on completing it buddy, good job

 

Hey bro, you just stated my situation perfectly! I'm in a similar position, let's do our best to be as productive as possible. We'll leave PMO behind and we need to land a job, that's the goal

 

Day 5

Today's task:
Guess what? My task on Day 0, apologizing to a friend. She called me today and I told here I needed to talk to her. But at the last minute, I started getting cold feet and I almost decided to not meet up. Managed to push myself to go and I stood in front of her house for an hour, dying with shame. I almost turned back but I made it today's task and went in.

Result: She seemed a bit angry but it lasted for a mere 2 seconds. She spoke with so much kindness and warmth, makes me feel so guilty for hurting someone like her. Got to see her beautiful smile when I wished her goodbye, a weight lifted off my shoulders

 

You say that like it's a bad thing buddy Always a pleasure to read the stuff you write, it's broken down logically, has interesting anecdotes, it's just perfect!

This was truly amazing to read. I've always had to deal with this stuff and it's frustrating because it's a fear that I carry. I'll be as honest as I can here.

If I were to write my reactions to the three categories you've described:
1. I feel so guilty that I write a big apology letter. In my head. When I do go to confront them, all that comes out is an awkward apology and loads of rubbish. People end up thinking I'm being fake and lying to their face.
And when I've tried to make amends for a while and they still don't care, I tend to lose my patience and end up ignoring them myself. That depends on the mistake though, if it's something major I understand their hate and feel ashamed forever but if it's petty I never again talk to the other party until they come to me because there's nothing else I can do. I don't know now if this is the right attitude to adopt.

2. This is who I am. I always tend to mold myself to the other person's character. In that way, I am always avoiding conflicts and ugly situations. For example, I have some work that needs to be done and a neighbor drops by. We're friends so I tell them I'm busy. They make this face that says they need to pass the time and since they took the effort of coming, I shouldn't be sending them away. So, I postpone my work. It pisses me off, I'm annoyed at myself. Ugh, this isn't even a one time scenario, it occurs on a 7 times a week basis! Yet, they are very straightforward when it comes to the things they want. I understand the logic but I do something else when it's time to put my thoughts into action.

3. THIS. These are the exact type of people I attract. I don't know why. I prefer hard work to complaining about how unfair life is. If there's something I can't do, I'm just not putting in effort. Yet, I need to listen to long rants and complaints and me being the actor of the century, I nod my head and advise, all the while dying of boredom inside. This might make me look like an unfeeling person but most of what people have to say are excuses. If there's a genuine problem, I'm willing to lend an ear but they are things that could be overcome easily with effort. Since I attract the kind of people who make their life a soap opera, even the times I do show my honest side and give them genuine advice, it ends in a fight because these people can't stand the change.

The people I interact with would be like this I suppose:
1. People I admire
I get so nervous that every time I meet them, it's a disaster. The most that happens is them talking to me occasionally, never able to become good friends with them.

2. Friends
Thing is, if I were to choose, I wouldn't be choosing the lot I'm with now. They're great people but our interests clash. People I end up with are usually ones that tend to give a lot of excuses and ones who choose laziness over life. It's frustrating when all I get to hear about is stuff like dating and breakup, there's much more to explore and the ones with me aren't interested in the things that I find awesome. If only I could make them see the things I see, is what I wish for at times, but most have given up on their dreams already, they wanna do what others do,.

3.The rest of the world
Due to my social anxiety, these people have always remained in this slot. If only I were to open up, I'd be putting so many people into my friends slot.

All these problems are due to my social anxiety :/

This was such an interesting story to read, you're a born writer bro, it's a disappointment when I reach the end of your posts. Situations such as the above, where people are judged for something they're not in control of is the reason for most problems. A person's color, gender, sexuality, country..these are things that should never be used as tools to make people miserable, they should be respected and celebrated, because this world is beautiful in its diversity. Thank you for the honest opinions you fill your posts with, lucky to have made your acquaintance bud!

 

Wow, that is one of the best decisions ever. A healthy body is a healthy mind after all! Buddy, you're changing you lifestyle in a great way and rebelling with the brain that's always searching for instant dopamine hits! Inspired by your decision, gonna make it my goal to give up junk good too

 

Loved this buddy, even if it's a difficult path ahead, I'll do my best to change my ways. There's no point hurting myself and others so continually because I don't have the strength to be me.

Loved the anecdote, I come across such people from time to time too. I keep wondering what I did and try my best to impress them. I end up ignoring them after a while but that's a wrong thing. I need to just be myself. Thank you for all these messages, reading them makes me think differently and get my life in order

 

Day 6

Today's task:
Sometimes I like to just sit in a park and relax. But I do it only when there aren't many people around. Today I decided to just do what I want and not care about a thing.

Result:
I did it I had a great day pushing the useless stuff out of my head and be nonchalant about stuff that doesn't matter to me.