Uhh.."Do one thing every day that scares you." challenge? :-)

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by I_can_and_I_will, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Listen-Connected

    Listen-Connected Fapstronaut

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    Hey thread,

    Thanks OP and thread leaders, this is a great thread : )

    Wanted to join in at the OP's invite. Am not exactly cowardly myself (I claim XD) but do have irrational fears. What is this thread's thoughts on giving feedback on other's challenges? I ask because I wanted to support others - for example, OP, you mentioned learning French near page one of this thread. I found it nearly impossible to do this without a person to learn from. Definitely invest in finding a friend that speaks French (the cheapest way to learn!) or find a relatively inexpensive tutor. It makes long term learning much easier - learning alone takes enormous self-discipline.

    So my fear today:

    A: Have a cold shower. Darn it I've put this off for so long! I'll try one pretty much now (LOL XD) and post back tomorrow if I managed to cold shower in the morning. Reason I'll try one now is, if I know what it's like, I'm more likely to try it.

    So yeah, will post the result and new challenge tomorrow. Cheers all,

    LC
     
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  2. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    I relate to this problem so well pal. Social anxiety is one of my greatest fears and it's terrible at times. I can do things at times but not without the constant buzz in my head. I know who's watching me, or rather I assume, so I can't do anything peacefully. Thank you for telling about this, you've taken an awesome decision and I admire you a lot for the measures you've chosen to counter the anxiety. I am yet to take any initiative. Actually I made this journal for that purpose but as the days passed by, the word "Fear" started to become a big thing and I was actually shrinking away from progress.

    So I thought I'd just stay away from this journal for a while, until I make progress in other areas but if you don't mind sharing your goals here, then I'd like to try doing the tasks you do too. No pressure though, I totally get that it's a personal journal and I will still get back to this journal sometime soon.

    Good luck with your journey, thank you for the reply! :)
     
  3. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Hey bud, thank you for the reply! I was considering staying away from the thread for a while because it was becoming difficult to keep this up along with my daily schedule(which is a mess) but I will get back to the daily tasks if you or @JesusGreen or both are in. I will be back to this journal soon either way so I don't mean that to pressurize either of you, you're free to leave and join in anytime of course! :)

    Yeah bro, I'm struggling with French currently, that's what I meant by my messy schedule. I planned to dedicate two hours for the language but it's not going so well, if you don't mind helping me with the language talk that'd be great!

    Awesome task! I used to like cold showers until it became too much, so I stopped it. I wanna resume sometime. Good luck!!
     
  4. Sure thing, I'd love to share some of the things I'm doing.

    So far this is what I've done (note for a lot of people this stuff is probably easy, but as someone whose social anxiety has kept me house-bound for the past ~3 years, some of this was actually really really difficult):

    Day 1:
    • Went to the psychiatrist (probably the scariest thing I've done so far in the past days)
    • Went to the shops together with family (easy, I find I have a lot less anxiety when I go out with people I know)
    Day 2:
    • Walked to the pharmacy
    • Went to the large supermarket in town to do some food shopping (I normally just go to the tiny empty store right by my house to avoid people)
    • Went to that small store by my house later and talked to the cashier requesting something specific
    • Went through a bunch of messages on YouTube/Twitter that I was anxious about replying to because the amount of them had built up a lot
    Day 3:
    • Went to the pharmacy again to pick up a prescription for my mum (Didn't take enough money, doh!)
    • Went to the vets with a family member + one of my dogs (Waiting there made me pretty anxious, but otherwise it went okay)
    • Went back to the pharmacy later with more money to get the rest of my mum's prescription
    Day 4:
    • Didn't really do anything difficult on day 4, just went to the shops with a family member again.
    Day 5:
    • Created an "Exposure hierarchy", a list of 10-15 things related to my anxiety, like walking to the shops, late night walks, approaching a girl, talking to a group, going to a bar etc and rated how anxious they all made me, then ordered them from easiest to hardest, so that I can try to face my fears in order.
    • Went on a night-time walk through the park near my house (this is the next step up for me from going to the shops/pharmacy/vets/etc. I feel way more anxious being out of the house at night since I think subconsciously part of me is worried about getting jumped or something). I also really want to get comfortable with this one because I used to love night time walks, they always helped clear my head, but I haven't gone on them for years because of anxiety.
    Day 6:
    • Went back to the vets.
    • Set a goal of saying Merry Christmas to both of the vets while I was there (since I normally don't say anything really and just listen to what they say because: anxiety) - and managed to do so.
    • Went to the shop near my house to pick up some things.
    • Went on a late night walk with a family member.
    Day 7:
    • Kinda slacked off a little here and didn't do anything that made me really that anxious, I just went to the shop right by my house to ensure I was still leaving the house every day. I did talk to the cashier though which made me anxious.
    Day 8:
    • Went for another late night walk through the park.
    • Sent a text to someone I'd been due to get in contact with but had been really anxious about contacting and had put off.
    ---

    You'll notice it's all really simple/easy stuff. I'm basically going down the route of starting with the things that make me anxious, but the least anxious - and trying to expose myself to them enough times that they're a 2/10 or lower in terms of anxiety. The main thing is making sure I do something, no matter how small, to face it every day, and to keep me leaving the house.

    I've already made good progress. A couple months ago just leaving the house was like 7/10, now it's about 2.5/10, so almost to the point that I can move on from that to harder things. Night time walks are a little worse, like 4 to 5/10, so they're probably going to be the next one I start doing every day.

    I've actually left the house more in the past 8 days than in like.. the entire past 3 months excluding those days.

    Later on I'll be moving on to harder stuff: Asking strangers for directions. Complimenting strangers. Approaching girls (although I did a bit of that back in the summer, so I'm actually not as anxious about that one as I was before).

    I think the big milestone for me will be going to bars/clubs again. I think once I get comfortable with that, it'll be the domino that makes everything else fall into place and lets me conquer my anxiety - because it's hard to be in a bar/club and not be social. That's currently like a 7/10 or 8/10 anxiety level for me though, so I got a few other steps to knock out first.
     
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  5. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Man, this post is so so relatable to, you're very inspiring. Loved the "Exposure Hierarchy", gotta make a list for myself too, it's a very useful thing and will help me identify my weaknesses. And the anxiousness rating, that's another amazing thing!
    Apologies for my late reply my friend! Thank you lots for sharing this here :)

    I know how difficult all this is because I managed to overcome one or two and still working on a lot many. So let me just say, you're a very very brave person. Still a long way to go but we'll get there because we're not gonna settle for anything else!

    I get what you mean about the night walks too, I just recently managed to go out on my own. I used to never step out after 6 pm earlier, I just didn't feel good back then. I enjoy evening walks a lot but I don't have company, hopefully I'll become social enough to find people who like doing the same stuff as me.

    I'm getting motivated after reading your post bud, would love to join in as well! How's it going the past week? Do tell me about your daily tasks if you feel comfortable, I'll do it too if it's a part of my anxiety. Now, I guess I need to call my professor and talk about my current status :(
     
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  6. On day 9 I went for another night time walk with a family member.

    Day 10 aka yesterday went really well. I walked into town to get some money out of an ATM, also went to the shop by my house, but the biggest one was: I ordered pizza. Phone calls are one of the highest things on my exposure hierarchy, as they make me incredibly anxious, but yesterday I was feeling pretty good and I called up the pizza place and ordered a pizza. This is literally the first phone call I've made in like 4+ months.

    They sent me the wrong pizza so I had to wait a while for the right one to arrive, but the phone call itself went fine and I wasn't as anxious as I expected to be, and the pizza was well worth it.

    Also, as well as managing the phone call, my anxiety when I went to the ATM + shop was about 15/100, or 1.5/10 meaning according to the usual rules of an exposure hierarchy, I'm free to move on to the next thing up and have officially "conquered" that step.

    Haven't done anything yet today, so I think I'll go for another night time walk later.
     
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  7. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Hey bud, sorry about the late reply again, hope Christmas was awesome for you! :)

    I totally know what you mean about the phone calls. They're one of my greatest troubles. That feeling of having to wait while the caller tune plays, going through a thousand opening lines, practicing it until the other party answers..ugh. I've pretty much squashed those feelings but they do crop up when I'm calling strangers or people I'm not so familiar with. It's awesome that you could call the pizza guy and order smoothly, that's a sure win!

    I've had to go through one of those dreaded phone calls today. Called up a professor of mine after worrying about it for close to two weeks. The call went well, which I knew, yet I worry. I don't know why I panic so much despite knowing the results. It makes me wanna reduce my anxiety about calls or any other form of social interaction asap. But I've gotta take it slowly, one step at a time.

    How have you been doing? I have work at uni, I'll start my daily tasks around next week for sure :)
     
  8. truthseeker17

    truthseeker17 Fapstronaut

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    I dare you to visit a mosque if possible on friday. Ask for a tour and ask them all the critical questions you might have about Islam. I dare you to challenge them in a polite way!
     
  9. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Woah, that's too big a hurdle right now bud! I don't have the courage to do it so suddenly! Besides, I don't know much about Islam, like, who are allowed into a mosque, at what time,..I don't want to do anything disrespectful. Also, I'm gonna be busy for New year's with uni :/ Someday I will definitely do this task when I'm ready for it :)
    Thank you for the interesting dare, I wanna learn about this fascinating religion!
     
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  10. truthseeker17

    truthseeker17 Fapstronaut

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    You will be fine buddy. You seem a good guy, I am sure you won't be disrespectful to anyone let alone muslims or mosque.. Take your time, no hurry.. I am saying this for you because this is really scary for a non-muslim. But once you done it you will feel stronger and better then before!
     
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  11. Do it

    Do it Fapstronaut

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    My fear is to make new friends i mean i cant do it something is holding me back maybe shyness or feeling of getting rejected.
     
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  12. Do it

    Do it Fapstronaut

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    OP what happend? why u dont post anymore?
     
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  13. JWeath

    JWeath Fapstronaut

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    I needed to see this today. Just texted my cousin after being MIA for 2 years. Thanks for inspiring me.
     
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  14. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the kind words my friend! I will surely take up this challenge someday!
     
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  15. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    I've got that fear too but I'm slowly improving :) It's all about trying again and again my friend, let's keep at it until we win!

    Sorry, was busy with my uni, I'll get back to this thread as soon as I can! Thank you for dropping by and motivating me to keep going pal ^^ Hope all's good with you, wishing you the best!
     
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  16. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Thank you lots my friend, means a lot to know that I could be of help :) You've done an amazing job by conquering your fear, keep going!
     
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  17. Do it

    Do it Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, was busy with my uni, I'll get back to this thread as soon as I can! Thank you for dropping by and motivating me to keep going pal ^^ Hope all's good with you, wishing you the best![/QUOTE]

    Thanks dude :) Keep going with your journey and remember why u started ! Wish you luck.
     
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  18. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the kind words bud! Wish you luck too, let's keep going!
     
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  19. Hey guys, this is one of my problems.. committing and being enthusiastic about something... but then after a short while losing focus and interest.
    I'm not gonna tell great stories now about how I changed now and that i'm gonna do all things the most optimal and perfect way now.. however I am gonna be more truthful, and not say things too easily without sticking to it and meaning it (for example this challenge, after a few days i was gone heheh, what kind of commitment is that? I also have/had this problem with the habit of smoking..)
    So yeah my plan is to make the right desicions again, to follow the good path.. but i wanna be more secure in my wording, to actually do what I'm saying.. so am not making any promisises for myself just now.. but my intention is to keep going in the right direction again. And this challenge is a real good interesting one, so lets see.. :D All the best!!
     
  20. I_can_and_I_will

    I_can_and_I_will Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy, extremely sorry, I don't know how I missed out on this post! Very very sorry!

    I can relate to what you say completely. I know that I often tend to say stuff that I don't commit to fully, I've toned down on it a lot but the worst part is that I'm not doing what needs to be done. Working on making decisions and sticking to them :)

    I'm planning to work on this challenge on my journal because I can keep better track of it that way. But I'll support you if you decide to do the challenge. But by no means are you obliged to do that! Skip the challenge if you don't feel like it anymore. This is just a crutch to help us move forward, the main point is progress and that's all that matters! :)

    Wishing you the best! Apologies again!
     
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