Day 2 - I will be resetting my counter to day 0 at midnight July 12th, for a new experiment. I will still have my no PMO streak listed below, but for these challenges, I will follow my "Meeting my goals" counter for a better life
That is the magic question I think. I made some progress last night when I found P and P-subs dating back months on my phone's hard drive. I deleted them all, though it was a triggering half an hour, and then I MO'd at the end. However, I feel like even though I MO'd it was still a victory as the process of clearing off months worth of porn from my phone was very magical as it was like I was deleting porn from my life. Now I am still day 0 due to the MO, but it is a better day 0 than times past. Best, Mathman1994
@Mathman1994 I feel that. For a lot of us this lifestyle stretches back years. To get rid of it fully is going to require just as much effort as all the effort we put into feeding and fueling this addiction in the first place. I fell this afternoon too, after a streak of one week. It really sucks, because I had hoped to reach a certain goal by a certain time in my life and now I can't do that, but lying to myself will only make this harder in the long run. So, I'm still a Rattata. For now.
Yeah, I did some stream of conscience journaling about my porn fantasies and recovery, and I learned some really messed up things about myself from it, especially in how I see myself. I did go on a PMO binge after that, but one thing I can say is I feel like I hit rock bottom. I can only go up from here. At least I hope I hit rock bottom, because I cannot imagine how much further I can fall. I am a little more than half a day clean now. Best, Mathman1994