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un-burying emotions

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by bangarang20, Dec 31, 2018.

  1. bangarang20

    bangarang20 Fapstronaut

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    This is my first post and I just wanted to share my thoughts..
    Until recently I had never considered porn as a genuine addiction as I could not see the problems it causes. I thought of it as like being addicted to exercise.. its natural, healthy and makes you feel better, right? Well clearly (now) it turns out that's not so true.
    What woke me up to this is when I realised I was using it to 'escape' my reality, to temporarily 'check out,' to plug in and turn off whatever was going on in my mind or body.
    Having committed to this I am slightly concerned with what I have been avoiding.. as it seems to be coming to the surface. My dad has cancer and since starting my journey it has been more difficult to deal with the pain of it. Now it seems I actually feel emotions as physical pain in a way I did not before, or perhaps I was numbing it without really realising.
    As I wasn't really aware I was doing this I feel like I'm waiting for the next thing I was trying to escape from to hit me, which adds another level of apprehension to it.
     
  2. Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your dad's illness.. : /

    Welcome to the forum and good luck! Nice job on the big 1 week too.
     
    bangarang20 likes this.
  3. bangarang20

    bangarang20 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks CC! Happy new year
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. Happy new year to to you too!
     
  5. bangarang20

    bangarang20 Fapstronaut

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    I just watched a couple of videos and two things really stood out:
    1) The difference between fulfilment and pleasure, that pursuing the former is much more worthwhile in the long term, rather than short term excitement that does not last. Not that pleasure is wrong, but a balance with a focus on being fulfilled is better.
    2) (Related to the first point) Porn/Pleasure can cause dopamine hits, which gives instant gratification. The brain is therefore given incentives (chemical rewards) for doing things which may not be beneficial long term. It makes sense to me therefore to get dopamine hits elsewhere to a) find a replacement for these hits b) if possible make this replacement something that will contribute to fulfilment (breaking the pattern of addiction and leading to a more content place, rather than say, eating chocolate)

    The idea that P is reducing my ability to feel pleasure doing other activities, but also preventing me from feeling content and fulfilled in long term helps me want to avoid it. I now see it as harming my future happiness for a false short term pleasurable gain (I guess what all addicts can't see/don't care about.. only the next hit)
     
  6. bangarang20

    bangarang20 Fapstronaut

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    PS I've felt real angry today, without knowing any particular reason
     
  7. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    Emotions running wild eh? Nothing to do but wait it out brother :D Try not to make important decisions :D
     

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