Unable to have normal sex - depressed

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Harry047, Aug 13, 2017.

  1. Harry047

    Harry047 New Fapstronaut

    Hello Friends,
    I am 33 yrs and i have not yet been able to perform a normal intercourse.

    1. Have only one testis (Right one atrophied 17 yrs ago due to torsion)
    2. Varicocele Grade 3 and Hydrocele on left normal testicle side

    I don't smoke and drink. I do exercise at-least 4 times a week for 30 min or so but tats started only a few months back.

    I used to have normal desires and erections with my partner, but due to phimosis i couldn't do the intercourse. Hence i got circumcised, but then had some job issues and personal issues and couldn't focus on this. I always used to masturbate (Not more than usual) and used to have good erections when watching videos or pictures.

    I have been trying to fix this, but its now like i am having better erections than before (Medication of modula tablet) but my brain doesn't focus on sex when i want to with my partner. Even if i try, i feel like now i need to fix this and my penis should be hard (I don't feel it deliberately as it suddenly pops up in mind without my control) and i lose interest at the required moment with no confidence.

    Even at other times, i feel normal when relaxed and get erections when am with partner, but at the moment when i feel like i need to have normal sex and fix this, then my brain and body dont work together.

    I thought i am suffering from porn ED (But i never watched way too much porn).
    If i try to restrain from fapping for 5-7 days, i can't diverge it towards my partner, then it urges suddenly and i end up ejaculating (Got afraid that if i don't fap it atleast once a week with regular erections, sperm stuff loses activity and causes new pain as i have only one testicle - sorry but i read from some forum which could be wrong)

    Its not like am not having desires at all, am not able to have it with my partner. I do get erections now (Better than before due to medication) but they are not working normal and causing no erections when i want to have sex with my partner deliberately.

    Doctor said its due to anxeity and he gave this medicine, but still not really working. Even if i want to try mechanically without sexual thought, am not sure if it works as there is kind of fear or no mapping of brain to sex.

    i got my tests with respect to hormones and semen and all tests are normal. Yes the sperm count is reducing year on year but right now my priority is to fix this with normal intercourse atleast.

    I had trauma in my childhood due to testicular torsion on right testicle (Atrophy now) and was afraid of it all the while. But since years this is grown into different issue and am feeling like its really psychological.

    But am unsure as to how i can overcome it. Please go through my case mentioned above and suggest me as am going into depression unknowingly which i dont want as it will cause worse issues again.

    Please suggest and help me as am losing the valuable moments and unable to focus on my career. It just feels helpless when everything is normal in reports, why am i not able to? Please!
  2. Kolanteros

    Kolanteros Fapstronaut

    Hello friend, although I will not speak with experience because I have not experienced testicular torsion but I will speak as true and honest I can because I am a victim of PIED.
    First of all you have to quit anything porn related and masturbation for at least 30 days.
    From what I read it seems that you thinking a lot about your trauma especially when is about to have sexual intercourse with your partner. Your mind and thoughts are affecting your body.
    My advice: Take your time with your partner and speak with her about everything be 100% honest with everything especially if you love each other it will be much help. No to the darkest path that many men fail is to find peace with yourself. Meditate a lot alone. Spend time alone. Go for a walk in the forest or even better go camp alone in a mountain alove from everything and everyone with only yourself and speak with yourself (it helped me a lot). Furthermore go to a psychologist and talk about all of these (although I am against using drugs for psy stuff). Have ice cold baths. Instead of thinking your trauma especially when you are with your partners try thinking about positive stuff. Put some photos on the space you spend the most time. Photos with friends, family, pets and anything that makes you happy.
    As I said I am against taking drugs for psychological things like anxiety. We make things stressful because we overthinking them and make them confusing while it will always be e.g go from point A to point B; do NOT focus on how difficult the path is but focus instead that you WILL reach it no matter what. Don't be afraid.
    Hope I helped


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