Unclear love signs

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Cynamooo, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Cynamooo

    Cynamooo Fapstronaut

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    Hello. I would like to talk about a girl from my class, more specifically, my best friend. Last year we were in the same class and spent some time together, but we didn't know each other that well. This stayed the same the whole year, though there were also no intentions involved. This year we were in the same class again. We were happy to see each other again and started talking. A week or 2 later I started sending her text messages sometimes after school (not all the time just so I don't seem like a stalker).

    We've been always kind of close and good friends, but recently I feel like she's been into me. She's worried, asks a lot of questions about me, laughs with me, she seeks attention and affection and when we look at each other we smile. This wasn't the case before and I have a feeling we are getting stronger bonds every day. Until recently I also didn't have feelings for her, but now that we get along better, I feel like they start to come. The thing is, I don't know if she's also into me. She's been showing some obvious signs that she only does with me, no other boys. Those are the ones I already mentioned: she's worried about me, she starts to seek attention more and more and also sometimes gives me subtle touches when doing stuff, she gives me compliments and stuff but it's just not that extra "wow" boost I get from her to know she's really into me as well.

    I have a feeling that she likes me but she's not looking into a relationship with me. Of course, that's a feeling, but I don't know how to find out what she wants. She's been an amazing friend for the past period and I don't want to lose that, but I also want to go a step further. Any ideas on how I can discover she's really into me without her knowing I have feelings for her and without ruining the friendship. It's kind of hard when you confess you have feelings for someone, she doesn't have feelings for you but you have to end the whole year in the same class. Hope someone can help me. Thanks in advance!
     
  2. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    I was in a similar situation with one of my friends that I had a crush on in high school. I’m married to her now but keep in mind that what I did won’t work on all women. Anyway, you can always ask her to do stuff with you outside of school. Hang out somewhere, or do something. It can be between the two of you, an unofficial double date or a group, or something. That also builds a bond, and it’s showing (rather than telling) your feelings, which makes things less awkward imo (although a few months in I did confess my feelings). I sort of have some social anxiety when it comes to exposing my true feelings so this way helped me heaps.

    Anyway, especially while in this process (maybe a few weeks in), if she’s reciprocal (as in she texts you first or she invites you to things) then that could be a sign that she’s interested in going further. But of course that depends on the context of how “close” of best friends you are.

    Of course you can tell her at any time, but the more you bond with her then you’ll probably have a more successful [potential] relationship. But that’s only what helped me, I actually haven’t dated anyone other than her so I’m not a relationship pro, lol.
     
  3. Daedaleus

    Daedaleus Fapstronaut

    Dude, green light. GREEN. FUCKING. LIGHT.

    Ask her out on a date. If I'm wrong I'll let you backhand me :p

    Edit: I also really like @MLMVSS idea, start out with something very casual in terms of a date. Coffee and studying for an upcoming test or working on classwork is a great environment for y'all to continue to build that bond without having overtly romantic overtones to it. It's personally my favorite first date, but I also love coffee.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2019
  4. Cynamooo

    Cynamooo Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, thanks for the good tips! I'd like to share with you that every day gets better and better, we have better talks, she touches me more often, called me sweety today and even spontaneously comes to me to have interactions with each other. I feel like I've got my head in the clouds and I finally (after being a long time alone + not finding the right girls), managed to find a good girl. It's weekend and I even have a feeling I miss her. Of course, I'm not a stalker and I'm not with her 24/7, but if I had the chance I would grab it.

    About your tips, thanks a lot! The sad part is, things, like studying together or asking out for a date, is not something we do here in Belgium. We either get along so well that we automatically become a couple, or we ask someone out. I'm thinking of asking her to the cinema to a movie which releases soon. It's one we both love and maybe she wants to come with me. It would be really painful if she doesn't want to go, but the way that we get along now already looks like we're together.
     
  5. Daedaleus

    Daedaleus Fapstronaut

    Yeah, all that's basically left now is to make it official with a formal date! I'm happy for you Moo!
     
  6. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    Awww! That's great man... All the best to you. :)
     
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  7. Cynamooo

    Cynamooo Fapstronaut

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    Hey, y'all. Today has been pretty heartbreaking for me. It was the first time I saw her again after a long weekend. I was happy to see her again, but she seemed annoyed. Not really because of me, but in general. She straight up told me that this week won't be a good week for her (mainly because of our busy schedule with loads of tests). I was disappointed because I was looking forward to that moment so much. From then until the end of the school day, I have barely seen her and have maybe said 3 words to her or so.

    I was genuinely concerned and texted her a bit after school to ask what is going on. She told me she was very tired and was also tired of school and all the tests. After she said that she also said that it was sweet of me that I was concerned about her. I honestly feel a bit heartbroken because everything she used to do to me is gone now. No affection, no kind words, barely even speaking to me. I can fully understand she's having a rough week, but with my past experiences with love, things like these easily break me. I also have double feelings. I have a feeling that I should still keep contact because she could otherwise lose potential interest in me, but at the same time, I don't want to annoy her with text messages because she's already tired enough. I'm so vulnerable and don't know what to do. I'm a type of person that's always scared that the good things that happen now won't last long, and now even after one day of not showing me the clear signs, I feel like I'm going to lose her, and I know 1 day isn't enough to decide that, but still... At this point, I wish I was in a further stage of NoFap, but on the other hand, this girl motivates me to keep doing NoFap for her. I'm stuck in my head right now and feel so down.
     
  8. The Valiant

    The Valiant Fapstronaut

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    She's just having a rough week. Just continue being nice to her but at the same time give her some space. She might even be on her period, who knows. Wait for her to cheer up again then go for it when the moment is opportune.
     
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  9. Cynamooo

    Cynamooo Fapstronaut

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    I've noticed. Monday and yesterday I was basically a ghost to her. She never came to me first, barely said a word and I felt like I've done something wrong or that rumors were spreading about me. The thing that hurt me the most is that she was nice and cool to my friends, but she didn't even look at me in those 2 days. Today it was the same. I felt genuinely left behind and I felt like I was nobody. At the end of the day, she came to me and gave me a little touch, the one that says like "hi I'm here, please talk to me" like that kind of touch. I started talking to her and it was like nothing happened in those 2 days and we were the same again. It was a short moment (like 5 minutes or so) but it meant the world to me that she took me apart from the rest for a second and socializing with me. It's crazy how one person can control you and make you feel a certain way. I don't know how long it will last but I hope that tomorrow she's the same old her again.
     

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