unclear path

I have recently started to reboot in "hard mode" and managed to get to 16 days so far and I can confirm that there are indeed unexpected results.
I have started masturbating very early at the age of 14(between 3-4 times a week).At fist I only used imagination and images of attractive women that wore stored in my head.Later as I got more access to technology and internet I used the google search function for images with keywords such as "hot girl" etc.

Some time later I started to watch music videos of popular songs and many of them had attractive women in it and used them as my "material".This material slowly turned into "female dancing videos" on various sites or videos of females showcasing their physical "assets".Then ,at the age of 17-18 somehow I became attracted(cannot remember which cause triggered this,if any at all) to women dominating other women(scissoring and smothering specifically) and I think that at this time my addiction became really bad.

I was never attracted to any video featuring intercourse between man and woman(the only thing that ever turned me on was the beauty of women and later the fetish).
Now at the age 21 I decided to make a change for the better and managed to hard mode my way to 16 days.I feel more physical energy in general and especially at the gym(4 days each week,and even after an intense day of lifting I still got some energy for 15 minutes intensity cardio).Another effect is that I am no longer craving like I used to for the fetish I had(losing more interest in it as each day passes).However since it is summer,and I spend most of my time working out ,preparing for exams(which I previously failed during summer),and playing video games I cannot comment on the social aspect(I am shy and my social interaction abilities are not that good either).

As for the journey to the 16th day is something that I never managed to accomplish before(I was never able to self control like this).The first 4 days were the hardest(I was constantly thinking about relapsing and imagery) and what helped me the most was reading journals of people describing their hard mode journey and the panic button.After that it got easier since I was no longer constantly thinking about masturbation.However there were triggers,but I kept telling to myself that I am stronger than my urges and so managed to push through.

Today I tried to put myself through a test and played a game in which you can control a female character(triple A game from big company,I am not saying the name because I am afraid it may be considered as publicity,the game is about a woman shooting zombies in 3rd person view).After a 90 minutes session I was on the edge of relapsing,but then I though to myself that having energy for the gym is more important than a few minutes pleasure(with accent on pleasure).What really surprised me is that when I was about to give up ,my mind was not set on getting my phone in order to have visual support.Instead my mind was set on the feeling of pleasure of the act.This was very similar to what I was experiencing when I was first starting this habit,imagination being my only support.This was the very reason I was so ready to relapse because unlike when I was first starting this(urges for visual material of women and the fetish I mentioned above),I was no longer feeling the need for visual material(could this mean that I made advancements in my rebooting proccess ?).

This is the reason I decided to post and looking for advice right now.Is it okay in my circumstances to masturbate to the feeling and for the feeling of the act(would I lose the benefit of physical energy or could the fetish surface again?)?Or should I just continue to push through until I no longer feel the need.I do not feel a constant need for it,but when I see a trigger I suddenly get an urge which goes away by doing activities.Also I am about to have my exams soon and was I wondering if nofap may have any negative impact on my performance.I am able to learn and memorize things just like before(no difference) which means in my opinion there should be no problem.

I know there are 2 parts of this process :reboot and rewire.I have heard many people tell something like rebooting is useless or does not have effect if the person is not rewiring(socialising,hobbies etc).Does gym help with rewiring and if it does is it enough ?Is connecting with new people vital?

It is my first time posting and the introduction thread seemed fitting.I am very sorry and apologyse if this is the wrong thread for such discussion.

 

Thanks for the reply.That is the thing though,I do not have any goals.I have started this journey because I felt that something was not right with myself and that I could do better.I am just wondering ,as I continue this process if the lust will ever stop or get easier to control.That would be my goal:achieving a very good self control in general and also when faced with triggers or similar encounters (such as talking to women).I guess I answered my own question,I will stay in hard mode for a long time.
EDIT:Just finished reading some of your posts from your journal and from what I read the issue never truely goes away,but the person can become better at dealing with it.

 

Thanks for advice,that is indeed true,the main thing that drives people are goals.Thanks for putting this into a better perspective.

 

My main strategy is sheer will and always keeping my self occupied.I usually do strength training in the morning followed by intensity strength training the evening which mostly consists of bodyweight exercises .After that I finish my routine with intense cardio(incline treadmill running).Other things that also helps me push forward are the positive effects of this process such as increased physical energy (I never felt more energy than right now in my whole life,even after intense training I still got fuel to do more,but I am trying to avoid overtraining ) and the memory of the bad feeling and shame I used to have after committing to my old habbit whenever I was faced with difficulties in life(stress,sadness,regret,anger).We as people need love in our life and unfortunately when that love is missing(in my case: my parents work all day and we only see each other in the evening and during college I am even more lonely) we seek it in dark places such as PMO which satisfies it in a very bad way which leaves us more damaged than before.
I had training periods in throughout my life ,but I always gave up in the end because my toxic always addictions kept me down.

I used to feel really bad waking up early in the morning knowing that I am supposed to put my body again through physical training.Now I always look forward to the next day of physical training and I even feel great after pushing my muscles above their limit.

This may all seem strange,but since I am a very asocial person and I knew that rewiring is a core part of the nofap process I had to find love and connect with something else.And so far that is what strength training and physical training in general has been for me.I have faith that when university starts again and I will be once more faced with the stress of exams,evaluations etc that the iron will help me overcome them(the emotions which previously fueled the malicious habit).

In conclusion succumbing to PMO may feel good during the act,but leaves the person shattered and worse than before while a healthy relationship(such as working out) leaves the person in a better shape both physically and mentally.

I am so glad a platform such as this exists since I would not be able to share this with the people around me.I feel much better now that I finally was able to put my thoughts down.I would have never believed that sharing your thoughts and confessing your feelings with other people could have such a positive impact on the mental state of mind.