Understanding women by interacting with them

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by tawwab1, Nov 6, 2022.

  1. tawwab1

    tawwab1 Fapstronaut

    Hi,
    I am not in the dating game, but I find NoFap gives me more confidence talking to women and makes them more receptive to talk to me.
    I’ve never been good with the ladies. I have no sisters and wasn’t close to any girls growing up. And of course porn got me early and made awkward. So I don’t really understand women much.
    I want to use this time of high confidence as an opportunity to interact a lot more with women casually. So I can learn about different types of women and how to read them, and how to speak to them and make them comfortable, and also romantically interested, so I’ll be better prepared for whoever I end up with one day. Of course self-development is my focus but I don’t want to be clueless or lacking in the area of handling a woman.
    Are there any channels or books you folks recommend for this purpose?
    I’ve been looking through PUA content to find some nuggets of wisdom but too much of it is clickbait “one weird trick to make her desire you” etc. That can be useful but I’m looking for deeper wisdom thanks. I feel like I would waste a lot of time watching those videos that spend 15 minutes teaching “one trick” that a zillion other videos said already.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2022
  2. Khan azam

    Khan azam Fapstronaut

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    If you want to understand women you can interact with them in a professional environment but that is not enough to understand them. You said you dont have sisters. Than you can closely observe your aunts and your cousins and by observing them you can get an idea about how women act in certain situations and be prepared for it.
     
    tawwab85 likes this.
  3. tawwab1

    tawwab1 Fapstronaut

    I really don’t have any contact with women in my family at all except my mom. Thanks
     
  4. Laurie211098

    Laurie211098 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I think interacting with them is a great way to understand women. I'm sort of in the same boat as you in that I never had a sister and never really had any female friends, so have also always been quite anxious around women. I think it's like anything though, the more you do it the better you get. Since starting PMO 4 days ago I've already had more conversations with people from the opposite sex than I did in the last few months or so before I started. Keep it up brother.
     
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  5. tawwab1

    tawwab1 Fapstronaut

    Laurie211098 likes this.
  6. zixy

    zixy Fapstronaut

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    I can say clearly one thing - you will never understand women fully, that is impossible ;)
    But you can give your best to try, actually don' try to hard. All the women want is - security, good time together, hug after long day etc.
    It is actually simple. Of course, confidence plays a big role.
    But you will only get better as you practice. Just go out and talk to them.
    Keep it up!
     
  7. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I've been doing a similar thing and find it to be very valuable. Many relationships do form out of random small interactions. A compliment while waiting in line at an event, asking for a book recommendation, commenting on the weather even...

    It's an indirect approach that lets her walls come down and our anxiety down as well. If there's any common ground, the conversation might flow well. If not, that's okay, it's still good practice.

    PUA advice is rife with tricks as you say, which is often performance based. Pretending to be a player, until one runs out of lines and has to be ...themselves!

    If you're looking for a general guide, I would recommend the book 'Models' by Mark Manson. It's a thoroughly researched (and practiced) source of dating information for the modern man.

    It's not about quick tricks. But rather, working on yourself, finding out where your demographic of women will be (many guys go wrong here looking for women ready to settle down in night clubs for example), and taking small steps to slowly get there.

    At the end of the day though, just getting out there and making small conversation and seeing what works for you is worth its weight in gold!
     
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  8. tawwab1

    tawwab1 Fapstronaut

    Haha, it’s so true. I’ll check out that book.

    That’s a good reminder that women are just people too.

    I’m getting past my confidence issues but I’m wondering, how do you know if a woman is interested in you or just wants to be friends? That’s always been difficult for me.
     
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  9. zixy

    zixy Fapstronaut

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    You got to read signs. Or simply show your interest, also keep woman wondering about you. Let her show her interest in to you. Women are cats, men are dogs. You can’t cuddle cat if she doesn’t want to be cuddled. Is she wants it she will come to you.
    Stay strong and follow your path.
     
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  10. Spirituss

    Spirituss Fapstronaut

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    If you clearly show your interest without beating around the bush, you'll know if it's mutual. Guys who can't tell the difference are just afraid to show their interest. So they don't express things directly. So they become friends with a woman they are interested in.

    That's the cheat code for approaching women on the street, it forces you to say why you're going to talk to her: you find her pretty, attractive or whatever. So expressing your interest becomes easy, if you practice it often.
     
  11. FormerLeatherneck

    FormerLeatherneck Fapstronaut

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    Read the first three volumes of The Rational Male. Rollo Tomassi should be required reading for all Men.
     
  12. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I had virtually no sexual or romantic experience until I was 19, had a gf for a while, then had a nice playboy phase, and now I've been with the same girl for 2 years. Since I was 19 my sex and romantic life has been really fun and fulfilling.

    I think the most important thing is to have female friends. It makes you more receptive to female social cues and emotions, it puts you around other women frequently (more opportunities for friends or potential relationships), and it lets women know that you're safe and won't kidnap and murder them if they let their guard down around you. If you can't initiate any romantic relationships, try to make some friends with women first, and if you do, stay friends with them. Some of my closest relationships are with women, they can be a lot better problem solvers and insightful than my guy friends haha.

    Secondly no matter what I think beforehand, the choices I've made that have brought me "success" and fulfillment from my romantic and sexual relationships have been on gut instinct, which has developed through experience, aka previous successes and failures. Chemistry, romance, and attraction is innately connected to the subconscious parts of our brains, and I don't think anyone could ever fully explain it or offer effective advice for every scenario. The best thing to do is get out there, build a lifestyle that would be fun for a woman to join and promote yourself as so, and then shoot your shot. You'll get way better results by trying things out and seeing how they go then getting tips from people on youtube or NoFap, including me lmao.

    Try shit out, if it doesnt work, change it up, if it does, keep it up. Very scientific but also very easy
     
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