unloved and alone

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Neonitrosonic, Jun 10, 2020.

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  1. Neonitrosonic

    Neonitrosonic Fapstronaut

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    I'm 30+ days gone, i need some support but no one seems to be around or bothered. I cant even flirt with women without being turned on, i havee fetishes of being used or dominated and i might tell a woman how im lucky to speak to her and she will agree and i feel like a little bitch and its a kink... I'm not ready for a real relationship yet im so lonely and desperate for love... so desperate for love.... I want to switch it off so i dont care, it causes me too much anxiety.... i dont want to relapse at alll because of all the efforts i put in, but i shut the world off and when i reach out i get ignored because im too intense or i dont bond with people ... i struggle as well but i need to pretend im ok... ive gone these 30+ days with no one but myself pushing me... but i cant do this alone i need help... i need a higher power .... i havent joinewd any saa meetings and although i havent relapsed i feel myself getting lazy again.... i get triggered by silly things and have viewed pictures i shouldnt have... but i havent relapsed... yet... just please help me i dont want to do all this hard work again... the first two weeks of urges was a killer and im kind of running on autopilot atm ignoring my trigggers but not relapsing and its important i always spot my triggers sio i look away...
     
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    You don't say anything about improving yourself. Nofap is not going to solve all of your problems, it only going to give you energy and motivation to do it. I can see in your text that you are not happy with your life and you are struggling a lot. It would be great for you and your confidence to improve yourself as a man and be proud of you. Your mindset will change a lot and you are going to probably interact different with woman.
     
  3. Neonitrosonic

    Neonitrosonic Fapstronaut

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    no one replies typical really
     
  4. matt2k12

    matt2k12 Fapstronaut

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    what do u expect me to do. stop crying and get yourself up. your a man, act like one. no ones gonna fight the fight of your life for you. its your fight and you are supposed to fight. who said its gonna be easy? so embrace the suffering and you embrace life.
     
  5. hajimekobayashi

    hajimekobayashi Fapstronaut

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    I fully understand you, it's tough out there, everyone wants to be loved by someone and feel belonged. But you, I suspect, like me and a lot of other people, only want the love and affections from someone else and not to give it. Before you engage in a relationship you must be able to love yourself and know how to love others, I suggest reading The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm, you can find it as a pdf online.
     
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  6. vxlccm

    vxlccm Fapstronaut

    I definitely connect with what you are saying. The feeling of being unloved or not ready for love is just an illusion, though. You are definitely loved. Even people here love you telling you that you can do this even when it sounds rough to hear someone say "get yourself up."

    Hang in there! Great job, by the way, getting so far on your inner strength. #respect !!
     
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  7. raphsim

    raphsim New Fapstronaut

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    I am actually 13 and I have masturbated and been a porn addict since 11. I always feel somehow unloved and most of my mates say I'm annoying so most of them pretend to be my friends. I am in a higher class than my age and my parents and everyone expect soo much from me that I feel lonely and unloved. Last two years some mates were talking of masturbation so when I went home I tried it. I was hooked and the most I've abstained is almost 10 days. I tried some different lubes and its sort of gotten some reaction with my glans and it has become irritated and wierd looking. Whenever I try to stop, somehow I get back to it. Please help.
     
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  8. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Hello dear brother @Neonitrosonic,

    I can conect with what you are going through.
    This situation gives the feeling of worthlessness, boredom. Meaninglesness etc.

    But, the thing that we have to focus is the way out.
    Do you want to be with people who is not exciting, do not care for others keep talking about negative things? Obviously not.

    Many of the things that you face and you want can be changed or made better.

    For that you will have to focus upon self.
    Question is how?

    Ans to it is..
    If u want to be enthusiastic then act enthusiastic.
    If u want to be loved then first start loving others. Ex you want live from someone young. But, for lonely ness you can spend some time with elders they too feel void and lonely.
    So first break the aura surrounding you.
    Be positive.

    How to remain positive when we go through all this stuff.
    Ans is postive and give thought as a food to ur mind. Source....???
    Good people ( that is not available to you right not, which will not be the case few days hence)

    Another source : reading. Reading the autobiography of personality you admire.
    One more book I would suggest is " How to win friends " By deil Carnegie.

    You are alone so why to waste time read good stuff, you will get the way where you want to be. If u want friend then it will be.

    Nofap and pmo is symptom I believe and disease is what we have to deal in real life. If we can have solution for boredom, slefdoubt and depression and life problem most of the people will not watch this much porn and all as we do today.....


    Don't worry, be gentle with self. Read some stuff and interact with people on this platform till you get the one in real life.

    Best luck buddy....
    When going gets tough
    Tougher gets going
     
  9. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    Preaching is easy and implementation is hard.... I know this fact..... But, if we will not give it a try then , there was never and there is never and there will be never good change in life..

    Best luck brother
     

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  10. Neonitrosonic

    Neonitrosonic Fapstronaut

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    stop crying and act like a man is all i ever hear , but i been doing this on my own and the sooner you realise you cant just do this on your own the more likely you will quit so this point should really be rephrased because i have opened upo and ur telling me im a snowflake for that which frankly doesnt help me when i just need support, please dont reply as i dont wanna hear negative right now
     
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  11. Neonitrosonic

    Neonitrosonic Fapstronaut

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    they are not your firends if you are feel alone at a young age i know this will sound so dumb but tell your parents, please tell your parents you have come across these images and tell them you dont wanna see it no more, yes it will hurt, yes it wont be fun u might get shouted at but trust me you need that support there and ask ur parents if u can go to a club like chess club or something u might enjoy, you will make other firends there, maybe do football club... it will be hard at first but u will make a friend trust me, im here if u need me tho
     
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  12. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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  13. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Wow, intense story my brother, I know what you mean. I was in the same position in which I felt extremely lonely which sometimes lead to hopelessness and even panick attacks.

    I am healed from this know and I want to let you know how: I saw a therapist with who I had very long talking session. I went for 2 years and I feel better than ever to be honest. Even better than before I felt so shit. The combination of Nofap for almost 1 year now and talking talking tqlking with a therapist is the best thing I ever did and even though I feel very good, i still go because I like to talk about my life. Every struggle I face each day, I can talk about it. This therapist became a kind of friend and it is lovely.
     
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  14. Neonitrosonic

    Neonitrosonic Fapstronaut

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  15. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Good for you brother, best choice ever! give us an update on how it went okey?
     
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  16. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I feel like the hard pill to swallow is that by itself NoFap doesnt do a HUGE amount. This isnt to say its not worth doing, quite the opposite infact. BUT, as someone who has gone on very long streaks in the past, the main benefits I noticed were the reduction in brain fog, lethargy, and sexual dysfunction/fetishes. The main, and most consistent benefit is the increase in spare time because you arent jerking off all the time. It sounds so obvious but I'll say it anyway; that free time counts for nothing if you dont do something with it thats productive. I also feel like, from my own experience, that NoFap CAN, help ease anxiety but wont completely get rid of it, thats something you will have to figure out regardless of whether you are doing NoFap or not.
     
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  17. MikeSilva

    MikeSilva Fapstronaut

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    Amen bro amen! Completely agree
     
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  18. Neonitrosonic

    Neonitrosonic Fapstronaut

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    ive been better recently chatting to c hildfree girla nd our convos are quite flirty so hope is better
     

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