Unsure

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Wheretogofromhere, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. Wheretogofromhere

    Wheretogofromhere Fapstronaut

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    I’m not even sure where to begin. This is the closest group that I can relate to and am thankful I came across it.

    I’m not 100% sure my husband is addicted to porn or whatever he may be doing. I have A LOT of gut instincts telling me something isn’t right. I’m not proud of myself the way I’ve found out but I did and now I have an idea of what might be happening.

    Basically, I caught my husband visiting parks in our city where men can meet other men for sexual encounters. He lied about where he was or said he was going. I confronted him and of course he denied everything. Then why lie about where you are??

    Sometimes he takes his iPad to work with him. This isn’t used for his job at all. Then I notice data charges under his phone number on OUR phone bill. He’s a very sexual person and I don’t really think he’s gay... perhaps a little bi curious but maybe he’s into voyeruism and exhibitionism.

    I now know that I cannot confront him without hard facts and proof that he’s up to something but my intuition is telling me he is.
     
  2. Vixen

    Vixen Fapstronaut

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    That definitely seems fishy!! Wow. I would be concerned too. If a lot of his time is unaccounted for you could put some gps trackers on his car. Or see if he’s open to a gps app on his phone to reassure you. Might be an interesting test. Does anything seem “off” within your relationship?
     
  3. Wheretogofromhere

    Wheretogofromhere Fapstronaut

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    Hi Vixen, the relationship doesn’t really seem off now. We’ve had our issues in the past but have worked to solve them. I’m just not sure if it was a bandaid. The gps is how I found out. Only by accident. When confronted about the areas, the gps was turned off, which is a bit concerning in itself. What do you have to hide?
     
  4. Wheretogofromhere

    Wheretogofromhere Fapstronaut

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    Hi Vixen, the relationship doesn’t really seem off now. We’ve had our issues in the past but have worked to solve them. I’m just not sure if it was a bandaid. The gps is how I found out. Only by accident. When confronted about the areas, the gps was turned off, which is a bit concerning in itself. What do you have to hide?
     
  5. Trappist

    Trappist Fapstronaut

    I want to affirm this as your guide.
    Be kind, trusting and protective of yourself.

    My wife and I use Life360 app to know each other’s whereabouts for various reasons mostly to be there for each other when needed.

    If he’s acting out sexually with others
    there are STDs consider.

    Keep reading here and
    join the SO group and keep posting.
    They have SO much to offer you.

    Lying is the enabler of addiction,
    So both those are
    present in addiction(s).

    Go with your instinct as hypothesis
    Wear your white doctors coat of detachment
    as you begin to observe the symptoms of
    his possible disease.

    Be kind to yourself and if he gets angry as you ‘gently’ probe, it’s likely you found the parts that hurt.

    Self care and support is
    what you righteously seek
    as you cleverly find your way through.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2018
    de severn, NF4L, Tannhauser and 2 others like this.

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