Up all night and lonely :( Pmo addict wife

While as a guy I don't think I can totally understand and relate to wat you are feeling right now, I can tell you this: Your husband most likely feels a lot like you are feeling right now. He wants your support but doesn't know how to really ask for it. Don't let Porn destroy your relationship; talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and help him understand. He certainly needs support during this difficult time, and you do to. The obvious solution is to support eachother.
You also mentioned being attracted to the Porn he watches. This leads me to think you my have repressed bisexual feelings. That is something you want to figure out as soon as possible, an learn to talk about that with your husband. Or, you may not, as some guys watch gay porn and like it but aren't actually attracted to other guys.But you definatly want to figure this out.

 

Oh, and I meant to address this in my first post but did not. I'm a guy. I like big boobs. It's natural and most of us have got a thing for them, But that doesn't mean they are te ONLY thing we are attracted to. A woman can be called beautiful if she has average or even below average sized breasts. Honestly, they're nice to look at, but if a big chested woman coms along, but shes and absolute bitch, I'm not going to look at her twice, and most guys feel the same way, including most likely your husband.
Also, the porn we watch doesnt always reflect our trues tastes, as I mentioned before. But ths doesnt only relate to sexuality. In order to get "excited" we have to find increasingly "exciting" porn until one day you look down and realize you were just watching some wierd video of a pair unicorns going at it. All of this is to say, your husbands porn interests dont neccisarly reflect his true kinks, amd that he probably still is attracted to you, but is seeking out something differentt.

 

Good morning,
I'm sorry to hear about the problem you and your husband are having. I am a porn addict that has been single my whole life, so I don't know a lot about marriage, but I can offer my two overarching feelings from reading your post:

1) I'm so sorry you are looking at porn your husband used to look at, and getting into it in some fashion. I think you are beating yourself up. Porn can really hurt your self-esteem, both from a male and female perspective. "I'm not good enough" "I'm not like these people" "I won't ever have this kind of experience" etc. It is very sad that people feel that way, but I was no exception. Please try to stop analyzing what it is your husband wanted out of porn, and stop comparing yourself to these actresses. You are just hurting yourself.

2) It breaks my heart to know you want to give him a hug but feel that you shouldn't. Again, I've been single my whole life. I've also gone through this entire addiction and recovery process alone, and I would kill for a hug from someone who cares about me.

I really hope things look up for you. It sounds like he is getting help for his issues, so try to recognize this positive change and be hopeful that therapy works for him. If you guys get through this, maybe your marriage will be stronger as a result!

 

I don't know your husband at all, other than he is a former porn addict, so I can't say for sure. I also don't know the history behind this - were you fighting about it, etc. However, my intuition suggests you may be letting him off easy if you completely give in to him. He can start to rationalize that porn is not a problem. After all, he still has a wife who loves him. On the other hand, with you guys sleeping in different rooms and keeping your distance, it can serve as a reminder to him of what his porn use has done to his marriage. Coming from an addict, we love to find ways to rationalize why we don't have a problem.

It sounds like he is committed to therapy. I have been through therapy too, and there was a point when I realized I was lying to avoid directly dealing with the issue - only opening up a little bit and thinking I only needed a little bit of help. At some point you realize it is pointless, because you're not getting the real help you need. Plus, a good therapist knows when you're lying. People lie to their therapists all the time, because they delude themselves into thinking they don't have a problem. I think the fact that he told you he lied to his former therapists is a good sign. He understands that he was not committed to it before, which is a big step.

 

My bf and I became 100xs closer in his reboot. We talked about everything. We laughed and we cried. And we made love every day for the first two months.
Every day. Not joking.
He's PMO free since Dec7th.
I'm not sure what's stopping you from talking and loving on your husband.

 

give him 100,000 more chances

 

you say that in jest but thanks to the bronies that probably actually happens

 

no no no!!!