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urge to watch fav porn clip

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by recoome, Aug 22, 2016.

  1. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Sadly she's still there in my collection :( I really want to delete it but I just can't bring myself to do so.
     
  2. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    I'm sure she is, and as you probably know, her "content" will be out there for the next 10 years or more, even after she's dead. You know what's really sweet, she'll never see a dime. For these "perfs" it's "one and done!!" Gotta love it.
     
    tweeby likes this.
  3. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I can totally relate to this, I also started reading my favourite's twitter and instagram account because it's more real. I even commented on some of her youtube videos, like I really longed to even have a conversation with her, or even buy her a gift.

    She had a video at christmas where she was unwrapping all the gifts her 'fans' lol gave her. They're not her fans, more like sick perverted addicts. What really sickened me was watching her as high as a kite trying to put on contact lenses with a camera on her mac book. I thought she's high as a kite because of us the 'consumer.' Our consumption for porn maybe drove her into that situation or her personal situation. That makes me sad.
     
  4. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    You or none of us here are responsible for anyone else's addiction. We are responsible for our addiction which on this forum is porn, the product this person purvey's. I know this sounds tough and uncaring but it's reality. In reality, you will never meet this person, you will never really know this person. Your only hope for success, is to focus on your recovery and avoid people, places and things that will lead you to bad habits. I offer you one word..THINK
     
  5. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    There's a really nice Irish pub about a mile from my house, kind of like the old TV show "Cheers" where everybody knows your name.
    I had some great times there. I can't "delete" it, I just don't go there.
     
    tweeby likes this.
  6. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I know that may or may not be true, but thinking about the situation in a way where I feel responsible helps to fight the addiction. I've paid for sex so I am responsible twice for inflicting some sort of unhappiness upon another human being, a girl that should have been out partying at uni like I was. I deserve no pity.

    When you look at porn stars there is an easy detached way to look at it.

    "They're getting paid and must enjoy what they're doing. It's their choice etc." I think there is a lot of stuff behind closed doors that goes on, we don't know about. It's only logical to assume this when a girl who you would see at school as a perfect 10 subjects herself to getting nailed by ten ugly AF guys.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2016
  7. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    I completely understand what you're saying and when I was a young guy overseas in the Far East I went with a lot of bar girls, and even liked several of them a lot. We both knew the deal, a few guys fell in love and wanted to "save" them and marry them. Fortunately, back then there were regulations and miles of red tape that saved many of these guys. My "porn crush" was a master manipulator and could go from living the high life of the "rich and famous" to playing the "poor me" role living in a one room hotel efficiency and looking like she hadn't washed in two weeks, and then in the "blink of a Tweet" be back in Paradise living large. It's probably as close to real acting as she'll ever get. It was a simple article in TIME and entering NoFap that opened my eyes and gave me the information I needed to start working my addiction. I'm not going to let her Jealousy, Greed, and Anger ruin my life, like it ruined hers.
     
  8. Sojourner

    Sojourner Guest

    If I had a dollar for every time I told myself, "Go ahead and watch, you deserve it", I could retire today. And EVERY time it led to shame, guilt and isolation.
     
    zip6331 likes this.
  9. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    I remember that battle back in my boozing days, it was worsening health and fear that got me straight. I never thought that something like this would cause me so much BS. NoFap and these forums have really helped a lot.
     
    Sojourner likes this.
  10. Sojourner

    Sojourner Guest

    Copy that.
     
  11. MetalFapper

    MetalFapper Fapstronaut

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    hey man, hope you dont mind me asking you this, but what has been more difficult for you? Quitting alcohol or quitting porn?
     
  12. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    No problem. Honestly, quitting alcohol was one one of the easiest things I ever did in my life, because I realized that my health had gotten so bad that if I kept on drinking I was going to die at 40, I'd lose my family, as well as my life, no BS, and I was scared. I reached out to a friend who was in AA and with the help of God and people I didn't even know it's been 34 years, one day at a time.
    I never thought of fapping to porn as wrong when I was younger, I just thought of it as a way to indulge fantasies, but there were other times when it was not just fapping to porn, but in other places as well, but I still didn't get it. When the Internet exploded and all this porn came on those sites it was amazing, like a lot of other guys I had my "faves" and it was cool. Social media was my downfall, because I started following this one "perf" and got hooked big time, I won't bore you with details, but even after a medical issue shutdown the real PMO, I was still obsessed with her. I followed others but she was like a drug, and with all the info out there it was like I knew her personally, I mean like her whole life. It was a "porn crush" addiction and it took over my life. I had done a lot of research into porn and I came to realize that despite how hard a lot of these people try and convince you their lives are so exciting with all the bling and luxury living, in reality they learn overtime that their lives are simply shit. She was as trapped in her world, as I had become trapped in mine, her success depended on my continued addiction, by controlling me, she didn't have to face the reality of her addictions, and the fact that most people might smile to her face, but behind her back mocked her and had contempt for her.
    A few months ago I read an article in TIME about Porn and NoFap and the subreddit were mentioned, so I signed on. When I realized that I could express my feelings and concerns in an open forum without fear of judgement or ridicule it was a Godsend. I also came to see that the PMO I had done when I was younger was also an addiction, and the other times without the porn in front of me, could have caused me some serious problems as well. NoFap and its members made me see that all the things I expressed earlier were really not my business, my business was to rid myself of my addiction and so far it seems to be working. I have closed out all my social media and when I feel the temptation, I simply sign on to Nofap and start reading. Sorry for the lengthy reply, but I hope I answered your question.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 26, 2016
  13. MetalFapper

    MetalFapper Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the insight, and you did indeed answer my question. Reason why I asked is I feel society as a whole still doesn't see porn as a problem let alone a serious addiction. Most people would laugh in your face if you were open about a porn addiction in public and say that you are just weak willed or its all in your head or whatever. I recall one study that mentioned how porn activates the same areas of the brain as those addicted to cocaine and other hard drugs. That alone is all the evidence I need to prove that it is a true addiction, but like I said society just doesn't see it that way. I was just looking for someone to gauge one addictions difficult in comparison to another. Thank you for taking the time to respond in such detail
     
  14. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    You're welcome, and thanks. I guess that if porn isn't a "problem" why are the people who are involved in its production, and the "perfs" viewed with such contempt by society as a whole. Even Jenna Jameson considered "The Queen of Porn" wrote in her book, that after attending a Music Industry Award Show at the height of her career, she came away realizing that she was nothing but a "niche icon" who contributed nothing to society, but "an increase in Kleenex sales" Even my "former porn crush" who hasn't actually "performed" in any scenes in over a year and a half, is reluctant to disclose to her Twitter fan base how she actually does earn a living now. If being a "sex worker or porn perf" is such a wonderful career, you'd think it would pay to openly advertise. I'm just happy I found a place to go when I feel the urge to go somewhere else and start poking around. For me it's a big relief.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 26, 2016
  15. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Will the urge never go? it's still there to watch the porn clip...:(
     
  16. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    C'mon Recoome. You can do better than this. Put the thoughts of the porn clips/ porn, and masturbation out of your head and do something else.

    @zip6331

    How do you closely follow someone on twitter? The ability to communicate on twitter is terrible, IMO. People mostly just post photos of themselves with little updates and some people comment on what was posted.
     
  17. zip6331

    zip6331 Guest

    ^
    Actually, if the person sets up their account to receive Direct Messages (DM) from anyone, or you Follow each other, you can communicate privately. Some "perfs" use the "Follow" thing as a reward. like the more gifts you give or sometimes the number of "Snaps" you buy, or maybe you share a common interest, blah, blah, blah, in the end it's all a big hustle. Frankly, it's been a couple of months and I don't miss it at all. I guess that sometimes age can be a blessing. old guys aren't as enslaved as the younger guys (just kidding):)
     
  18. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    young guys can play pokemon in mobile:D
    i bet old folks still play cards:rolleyes:
    Just kidding:)
     
    Themadfapper likes this.
  19. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    DM message sucks, IMO.

    It's too slow. It's like writing emails back n forth.
     
  20. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    I like the poem in your signature.
     
    recoome likes this.

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