URGENT! NEED HELP FROM A PRO

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Jalalbag, Feb 25, 2021.

  1. Jalalbag

    Jalalbag Fapstronaut

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    Hello
    I m a male 27 of age
    I have a sever porn and masturbation addiction for about 15 years.
    2 years ago i found out about nofap, i decided to give it a try, i havn't been able to do a streak more than 12 days, so 3 months ago, i decided to give pornfree a shot. To just cut porn while still allowing my self to masturbate. I was doing ok for about 2 months ( with 1 or 2 slips).
    3 weeks ago i relapsed and i masturbated to porn. Only the high from porn wasn't 100% satisfaying, actully i got disgusted by the whole situation ( me fapping to interracial porn)
    So, now i m about 10 days on nofap.
    And i figured that i have a severe social anxiety problem. That it is making it impossible for me to approche girls.
    I m still a virgin. I will be pround of it. Only it wasn't my choice. I always wanted a girl by myside. But i have always been kind of weird guy. I have only one expirence with a girl, it was about 2 years ago. That was the time i discoverd i have a sever pied.
    And that what got me here.
    I figure that the lonilness is my number 1 trigger.
    It is just that i have some very very bad expériences in the past, starting with a very young age.
    Now that i m on nofap i see what those guys are talking about. But there nothing i can do with that extrat energy.
    What the point of having that tremendus sexulle energy if i m not gonna use where it belong.
     
    Aaronblack2140 likes this.
  2. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Use that energy to make yourself better in every part of your life, girls like that. Also doing nofap will make you more confident. You are not weird you are you. Everyone is a bit strange - thats what makes us special. I am sure there is a girl that likes you just the way you are. Of course fapping and porn is not part of that. I am no pro - I do still relapse from time to time but I have found that doing exercise and finding something productive to do helps reduce relapses a whole lot. Go for walks everyday, read books, learn tasty and healthy recipes from youtube and cook them, learn an instrument, clean the apartment every week. I have found chess nice too. These are just suggestions - find something that you enjoy! All that extra energy from nofap you should use to be productive - be productive and do stuff so you do not relapse. This will create a positive cycle strengthening both. Thats my point of view, I have seen a lot of successful people on nofap talk about these same things and many more so I suggest looking things up from success stories or youtube. God bless you.
     
  3. Didi DLT

    Didi DLT New Fapstronaut

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    Hi friend,
    It is very good that you are being open and sincere about all you have mentioned. If I may give you some piece of advice:
    -Recovering from a porn addiction is a long therm investment. You will reap great mental and physical health improvements in the long run, so don't give up.
    -Dating is supposed to be good, heartwarming, exciting, tasty, pleasurable, so don't worry about it too much. Especially don't feel ashamed. You are you and you are unique, plus you are being courageous by fighting against your addiction so respect and value yourself. Tip: Love yourself first, then love others.
    -Losing your virginity is a great event! I overthinked my virginity loss, and ended up lying about it, which put me in a weird position (don't do that). Be open and fun about it. There are lots of people out there who want to love and be loved - so go out, talk, make friends, HAVE FUN, and see what happens... it can be a lot more exciting than what you think!
    Still about the virginity loss, You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are a virgin. Like I said, sex and "being sexual" is supposed to be fun, heartwarming and pleasurable - when you bring someone to bed with you you are sharing a same moment, skin and touch. It is intimate and beautiful, and only that matters.
    Thank you for opening up, it has been great for me to write to you.
    Stay away from porn. Stay safe.
     
    TheSmilingKid likes this.
  4. yassimhaf

    yassimhaf New Fapstronaut

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    Hey,
    I am in a similar situation as you.
    I think that you should carry on nofap PMO. The addiction is preventing all of us from managing and mastering our emotions.
    For the social anxiety part, it is a long road. Start by practicing some exercices and looking for tips to start a conversation, how to talk to a stranger etc. Start small and grow from then.

    Don’t give up. Keep progressing
     
    TheSmilingKid and silentmike like this.
  5. silentmike

    silentmike Fapstronaut

    when you say you are not watching P. - does that mean you also don't think about it? - I mean you don't visualize scenes from the movies you watched? I am asking because I am free from those things for 1.5 months and I feel my libido is lower now, and I don't feel that tension I use to feel when didn't control my urges. I also do sports - weights lifting and running.
     
  6. luckydog

    luckydog Fapstronaut

    Hi @Jalalbag - welcome aboard!

    Thanks for sharing - did you ever get an Accountability Partner? Did you ever join one of NoFap's group sessions? (They are really modestly priced, the once-a-week session is only $20/mo or $5 per session, a lot less than other things you may be spending money on.) Did you ever tell a close friend about your struggle?

    Here's a list of tools I put into place that may give you an idea of what it involves to be truly porn and masturbation free. (I think the moderators did a great job on the Porn Addiction Basics, as well as The Basics of Rebooting.) Have you read these as well? (IMHO these pages are Required Reading and worth reading and studying a few times.)

    Friend, you will not succeed by trying to become pornography-free alone. It JUST. DOESN'T. WORK. Take it from someone who has had more than 40 years of experience with PMO, and have come to the end of the road. This time it not only feels different, it IS DIFFERENT. Because there are others involved in my life who know all about my life-long porn addiction, and know about my seriousness in dealing with it (finally).
     
    TheSmilingKid likes this.
  7. TheSmilingKid

    TheSmilingKid Fapstronaut

    Research more on the topic of powerful sexual energy. It has many names in different tongues. Some call it mana, others call it chi or life force energy, etc. Ancient cultures believed that semen retention (SR), achieved via nofap, made you a stronger, braver and healthier warrior. It's really interesting stuff! And that brings me to my second point; use that energy and get busy with fun (and intense) activitities. The activities that I do and recommend are: heavy lifting, practising martial arts (and sparring/fighting), taking cold showers, reading books, meditating, stretching, positive visualization training and connecting with people (friends/romantic interests/family).
     
  8. TheSmilingKid

    TheSmilingKid Fapstronaut

    Good stuff man. And congrats on the 69 days PM-free!
     
    DeeJ4y likes this.
  9. TheSmilingKid

    TheSmilingKid Fapstronaut

    Thanks for helping us newbies brah!
     
    luckydog likes this.
  10. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man! God bless you.
     
    TheSmilingKid likes this.