1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Use of a fleshlight to stop DE and help with death grip syndrome - thoughts?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Trying90, Aug 26, 2021.

  1. Trying90

    Trying90 Fapstronaut

    9
    8
    3
    Hi,

    I'm new to this but I've been looking at ways to improve my situation for a while. I'd really value any feedback, general thoughts or personal stories to help with this.

    I appreciate this site is about a commitment to nofap, and cutting out at least P/M. However, my problem is such that at 31 years old, I've never been able to reach ejaculation through sex.

    My problem with PMO is based around jerking off for at least 3 to 5 times, daily, since early teens. I've had the odd week here or there where I've been able to go without PMO, but nothing substantial. The last time I tried having sex, I could only finish by jerking off, which even felt like a struggle due to the added pressure of wanting to finish in front of her. With PM, I can reach O, but it can take ages and involves using a very strong grip. Sex very rarely provides any sensation and typically finishing myself.

    I decided to buy a fleshlight a few weeks ago after reading about them. I used it first day it arrived with no result. I resisted the urge to use my hand and for the next week, used it on and off, finally reaching O with it after very heavy use. I was surprised but relieved to have done so even if it meant having to use it vigorously. Since then, I've been able to O with it, but with some struggle. 2 weeks later, I now plan to change my approach with it, using it instead to 'thrust in to', rather than using it as if it were my hand. Today was the first day of doing so. The sensation seemed to be heightened but I definitely wasnt able to O with it even after nearly an hour.

    Does anyone have anything they can share on this, either in terms of seeing an improvement with the use if a fleshlight, or whether I should in fact be using one. Truth is I'm using it due to having no gf/wife to help with urges, so I'd be reluctant to give it up and find I'm back to using my hand then getting back in to that loop with it. But then, it would be good to have some reassurance that I'm not being counterproductive using the fleshlight.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Mazda647

    Mazda647 Fapstronaut

    362
    1,797
    123
    Hi @Trying90 ,

    Thank you for sharing. I have never used a fleshlight so I can not specifically comment on how they work. My assumption is it provides an experience you won't find with a woman. Read up on "escalation". Drug addicts keep needing more and more to get their fix.

    Fleshlight aside, my opinion is do the 90 reboot. I'd look at it like this, you've done too much of a good thing. Right now you need to do less, not more. Let your body heal. Does scratching a wound help it heal any faster?
     
  3. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    It's great that you're looking into this problem you have and exploring all solutions.

    I'm just gonna tell your right away: if you have DE from porn and death grip and want to be able to cum during sex, you need to stop watching porn, masturbating, and then go practice cumming from sex with real women. There's no way around it. Fleshlights can be used to prevent death grip, but not to cure it.

    Check out this article to understand why you escalated in your masturbation habits.

    Any suggestions for healing delayed ejaculation (DE) or anorgasmia?

    Check out these for testimonials from guys with death grip.

    Incredible results after 90 days hard mode

    Yes you read that right.

    NoFap worked. DE reversing

    Significantly Better Sex
     
    R4VER, Scissor85 and Trying90 like this.
  4. Trying90

    Trying90 Fapstronaut

    9
    8
    3
    Hi @Mazda647

    Really appreciate your response. Think you make a great point. I did wonder after aiming had written it if I was just looking for an excuse to feed my habit. In one way, I can justify the use of something that in my mind, is less 'damaging' than regular m'ing, by losing the usual grip that is required. But then like you say, I'm still persuing that sensation with something that isn't authentic.

    Perhaps I need to consider parking it for the time being and seeing how a decent reboot helps first.

    Thanks.
     
  5. Trying90

    Trying90 Fapstronaut

    9
    8
    3
    Thank you @modernstore99,

    Another great response. I'll look through those links.

    Cheers.
     
  6. Scissor85

    Scissor85 Fapstronaut

    14
    44
    13
    Hi Im suffering from DE too, maybe we can make a community and share about it
     

Share This Page