using nofap as puberty

One of the reasons I'm doing nofap is because i need to find my authentic self, the one I was too afraid of exploring through high school. I was small and skinny.

I'm a vegetarian, a kind guy, everyone around me seemed so sure if themselves and much bigger than me. I used to fap to avoid growing in order to keep my parents from having irrational thoughts about me, I tried to seek praise for that - being good.

A part of me always knew I could quit fapping and gain some of those energies I lost, so I would deliberately fap and make myself feel good - telling myself at the time that when I stop I'll have it all.

So I would fap to make myself feel happy about not growing and experiencing regualr teenage behaviour.

Now that I'm older that means nothing. I realised I wasted an opportunity, what's worse is that I sought approval from parents that made everything OK in my eyes. In reality I'm disconnected to my peers as aresult.

Fast forward to 1 year of practicing nofap and being aware of it. I've gained height size and wisdom. It may seem trivial but to me it should be a great deal, anyway, life is a marathon not a sprint.

It doesn't matter what deficits you put yourself into so long as you'reo patient and commuted to bettering and correcting yourself and your mindset, anything is achievable.

While the world draws further and further into instant gratifiers, we continue fixing our deficitsn. Eventually will come a point we surpass society's norms and we can experience a solid self esteem that none others can adapt.

Until then we build. GLORY.

 

Amazing how conserving my sexual energy has given me access to my deepest thoughts, I'm my own psychologist baby!

 

Thank you for replying, I agree man. It's just dawned on me how I feel, and why I feel the way I do. I'mreading the 6 pillars of self esteem and its helping me put how I feel I to context...

Stifled upbringing, not much nurturing happening. School was a hotbed of pressure and reprogramming of thoughts, thinking independently was dangerous. I had a meeting with a head tutor for being violent/bad. He broke my spirit. Made me work extortionately and made me try excessibly hard. I feel like the shame of falling reminds me of that and spurs me on to working extortionately / sacrificing something.


Nofao has really begun to help me understand myseld and my self esteem. Nobody told me I don't have to work extortionately hard. Idwait until someone noticed me to stop receiving hich never happened.

I need to unkearn a lot of unnecessary behaviour and just now I noticed when talking with parents that I still feel shame and don't want to talk to them properly.

I'm 22 years old but my mentality is based on what happened to me when I was younger. Nofao has given me the strength to face thesethings aand get over them.

Sorry for long post! I hope things are well with you

 

@JoshZissou there's a book by Napoleon hill called 'outwitting the devil'. There he talks about everyone having another person within their consciousness. He calls it 'the other self'.

I feel like that post was a random stream on consciousness that I didn't have to think about it just flowed and formed by itself in my brain - somehow. I think nofap cleanses oud subsconscious minds from filth that's in it 24/7 as a result when we give it adequate rest the problems we have come to the forefront by themselves. Understanding them is almost as gold as solving them. Reading self help books frames these events in a way that'll give us esteem. It's extraordinary.

I.e. the benefits of nofap are real.

 

Meat is an easier source of protein its fully possible to gain adequate amounts by eating more protein rich foods, I'm having nuts everyday for starters, it has all the amino acids etc I need.

I'll find ways of getting that level, a glass of milk has 9g protein, I need 65 grams, a bagel with cheese has 25g protein, handful of nuts about 5g, 2 slices of brown bread 8grams, gonna keep trying to find ways to make up the deficit