Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Kman20, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

    I don’t have any friends man lol, I have acquaintances but no one who I can come home to and feel like I can talk to or hangout with. Just people that are there. I want a girlfriend so bad or just a fling too, a friend with benefits would be ideal for me right now I feel.
    I’ve tried dating apps but swiping through pictures of girls gives me the same anxiety and negative effects that porn did so I got off those quickly. I’ve been going out and have done speed dating a few times but it’s hard.
    I’m hoping that there is something online for dating where I can just show myself and not have to swipe through pictures of girls so I don’t get anxiety. Like make my profile and present myself and never look at it again until someone directly messages me so I don’t waste time on them either.
    It’d be nice to just check my phone one day and see that a girl messaged me so I don’t have to spend time actively on the apps because the swiping gives me anxiety.
  2. Nil1991

    Nil1991 Fapstronaut

    If can't have even friends, how could you think that you are prepared for a relationship?
    FellatiousD likes this.
  3. Yea, man, try to build connections with real people. Talk with someone, really listen, ask questions, and act as if you care. Then maybe you will actually care, and share some of what is inside you. Do it with guys as well, just to feel comfortable around people. Then, after some socialization, you can work on your girl-getting skills.
    FellatiousD and Nil1991 like this.
  4. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    I never thought I would see you like this dude. If it makes you feel better, I am not much better.
  5. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    I can feel you, i don't even have anyone to speak to or vent my problems. All my friends are busy and i have drifted away from my social life everything about this social life seems so fake to me now. Being lonely has it pro's and con's pro is you can focus on your goals and achieve them, con is no one knows or cares about your achievement.

    For now i'm working with what i got, life always take a turn in the the most unexpected ways. So take life day by day :) everything will turn out as you wish. Go and try out things you like like swimming or anything and just enjoy what life gives you. I wish you all the best samurai ;)
    Coffee Candy, amaranth and Kman20 like this.
  6. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I’ve been working on my goals all the time. I think that’s all I do now, even when I try to have fun it’s really just for work or there is some end goal to it.
    Deadpool98 likes this.
  7. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

    Where did you guys meet your friends ?
    Hold it in and Deadpool98 like this.
  8. Deadpool98

    Deadpool98 Fapstronaut

    Sometimes you just turn into a machine doing the same things on a loop try any physical activities it definitely helps the mind to release some stress and feel good about yourself.

    I meet most of my friends in highschool and university. I rarely get to see my school friends. How about you?
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  9. Win, lose or draw

    It doesn't matter to me anymore about making friends. It's lonely but you know what? I may be so used to not having friends it could be exausting. Not saying you should give up trying to make friends but for me I'm more concerned with finally slaying this devil of an addiction I have in porn

    God knows it's not good for man to be alone, I shall put my trust in him. He knows my situation. :)
  10. It shouldn't make anyone feel better that someone is worse off than them. I think you should both try stepping out of your comfort zone and making new friends!
  11. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    I met most my friends at school and from work. And some via sports(road cycling).
    Most my girlfriends I met via salsa lessons. God i miss those days and I will soon take lessons again after my divorce is settled.
    Unlike the clubs, its very easy to get into contact with nice women.
    Deadpool98 likes this.
  12. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

    Go to meetups of activities you enjoy and start conversations. Be a good listener and get the guy's phone numbers to stay in touch and then call or text them between the week.

    But if you really want to know the best ways to meet new friends I would advise you to get an Amazon book on the topic. Same as we read books on getting girls there are also books on meeting bros

    The easiest places are work and school but if you dont have those then you need to create your own opportunities. Yes i know its tough. Like in my case the only guys that want to be my pal are losers and other men that are at a lower level then me and at the same time the guys on my same level or higher they dont really seem to want to "deepen" the friendship with things like asking me to come over to their house

    But in all actuality I think that when we dont love ourself and when we have low self esteem that it acts as a repellent to both males and females around us. SO the first step is probably to do more inner work on how to love and accept ourself. And in my case the reason I dont do it is because I refuse to get started on my weight lifting program yet so unhappy about my physique. So hard to love myself with a bad body and also because I cant get motivated to go to first workout
  13. I managed to find friend even in public transport like lately in train. It all depends on your openness and social skills, and you can practice both.
    Homelander likes this.
  14. I once lived in a big-ten population city, and I met some good friends on the bus I'd ride each morning (We all parked in the same lot, rode the same bus, and ended up on the same train). Now I live in a smaller area, I've met some friends from church, some friends from mutual acquaintances, and other friends from a bar I frequent.

    Remember, very few people just "come" into friends. Most people meet friends in school, church, or such places. So do your best to take a class (it doesn't have to be woman focused, take an adult education class in photography, or something else), find a church large enough to have other men to create a small friend group.

    Don't place the pressure onto "you." Most of the "social butterflies" that I know just "happened" to "accidentally" live in the same neighborhood for their entire lives. It isn't natural that we humans move so frequently, so you must simulate the community that comes naturally in a non-capitalist world.

    Think of England. In England some men belong to the same bars for 80+ years, and they have the same bartender. Find yourself a local bar, find a church, take some classes, play a sport, friends will arrive with due time.
    Get_It and FollowYourBeard like this.
  15. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

    Meetup worked for me. I am heavy into Politics and fitness like running. Last year I prayed to God to bring some good new friends in my life and he sure did answer. I have a pretty decent social life again after not having one for a bunch of years.
  16. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

    Must feel nice. Happy for you brother.
    Get_It likes this.

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