very ashamed of what i did

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by recoome, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    contains details:


    I was in this gay hookup place, it happens in crowded trains and i saw this guy. i walked close to him and i pressed my hand to his crotch a few times. the man turned out to be straight and called me fag*** and threatened to beat the shit out of me.

    i know what i did was horrible and i invited his wrath. i just feel so ashamed at what i did.

    i was sexually abused as a child. that was year ago, i am 28 now. i feel so ashamed at what i did. it's eating me alive.


    i was sober for 6 months, but on that day i couldnt stop myself.
     
  2. iRebootMyself

    iRebootMyself Fapstronaut

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    No offence, but I would punch you twice in the face if you have done that shit to me.
     
  3. You gotta get some help bro. You sexually assaulted someone.
     
    u376 likes this.
  4. He who is without sin, may throw the first stone to you....
    Thousands of people here who has the same thoughts, but never acted out. You did unfortunately...

    You learned in a quiet bad way an important lesson.
    The only way to get rid of your deeds is confessing it, bring it into the light.
    Forgiveness is waiting for you. And lot of mercy so you can forgive yourself as well.
    But you better stop this behavior immediately.
     
    u376, Deleted Account and Citadelle like this.
  5. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I went to Psychiatrist. He said the urges are coming from 4 years of childhood sexual abuse. I know it's not an excuse, but it just sucks. Doc gave some meds incase I get urges again.
     
  6. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I don't like myself anymore.
     
  7. iRebootMyself

    iRebootMyself Fapstronaut

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    Just learn from it, forget about it and move on.
     
  8. SoulOf1Lion

    SoulOf1Lion Fapstronaut

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    ayy we all done horrible things, that doesnt make you a bad person. so cut the hate
     
  9. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I feel very Ashamed. I don't want anything anymore. Just want to die.
     
  10. jeremiah960

    jeremiah960 Fapstronaut

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    Like all of us, you need to move forward from it. It's crucial that you learn from it. It is your low point ...work towards the high points. Seek help by getting the help you really need.
     
  11. You know where the problems come from.
    It's time to face that pain and start processing it.
    The more you are going through that pain, the more free you will feel.
     
    Citadelle likes this.
  12. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    The doc asked about my career n education n was impressed. He said your ruining it because of this.
     
  13. DaBauce97

    DaBauce97 Fapstronaut

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    The best forward is to face the issues and work on them. No matter how slow you overcome them or how pain it is. Because you know what will happen if you continue the path of destruction and thats not very good ALTHOUGH it is the easier option of the two. You're not alone in this fight and everyone fucks up at some point in their life so stop feeling sorry about yourself. It was extremely brave of you to seek a psychiatrist so give yourself a break, stop being so hard on yourself when nothing positive comes out of doing so.
     
    Citadelle likes this.
  14. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I'm ashamed of myself at what I did to that guy. Although I'm grateful I didn't scar him for life. He was in his early 30s or something.

    I feel like the tag of sexual assaulter is on me. Like my conscience is broken.
     
    u376 likes this.
  15. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Guys I want to ask
    Are rapists or sex offenders......pissed from their life
    Are they frustrated....or what
    Please do tell me...
    Because there is a documentary regarding rapists in which most of them were sad and depressed
    Correct me if I am wrong
     
  16. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Long back I read an article where a guy wanted to be euthanized. He was a rapist and was being released from prison. He said he wouldn't be able to control his urges and will end up raping a woman again. The court agreed to euthanize him.
     
    u376 likes this.
  17. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Then I think my perception is right
     
  18. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    To be honest every person has an explanation and a reason. We can put the "blame" on society or parents or peer pressure.
    It'd be better to be neither the victim nor the perpetrator. Staying away from all this mess would be much better.
     
  19. Yep, agreed.
    Stop wasting your time.
    Work for some money, pay your bills, go fishing or have another hobby.
    Don't bother anybody. And have peace by yourself because you're in your own business.
     
    recoome likes this.
  20. What is the purpose of your post?
     
    lauraS and Roady like this.

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