contains details: I was in this gay hookup place, it happens in crowded trains and i saw this guy. i walked close to him and i pressed my hand to his crotch a few times. the man turned out to be straight and called me fag*** and threatened to beat the shit out of me. i know what i did was horrible and i invited his wrath. i just feel so ashamed at what i did. i was sexually abused as a child. that was year ago, i am 28 now. i feel so ashamed at what i did. it's eating me alive. i was sober for 6 months, but on that day i couldnt stop myself.