Veteran, 3 years no PMO, Looking for Community

Hi all,

I have been in recovery now for 16 years. I've been through it all. I'm happy to say that I am just over 3 years without PMO. However, I slipped up with viewing provocative material on youtube 1 year and 2 months ago. I did not M and happy to say I have not M since I last watched Porn 3 years ago.

It has taken me many years to achieve this kind of sobriety. I was fighting this for about 12 years, trying everything. I just could not get any significant sobriety. The longest I got to was 46 days. I have no idea how I managed to survive that long with the shame and guilt.

What helped me to finally reach sobriety is going to therapy from 2019 to the end of 2022. I went weekly and spent a lot of money. It was worth every cent. I was diagnosed with CSBD. That diagnosis changed everything.

I have been looking for a community where I can support others and help them along the journey. I hope that this could be the community that I'm looking for.

I have called myself SobrietyRent. Through therapy, I learned a fundamental truth... we will always have this weakness and we need to pay rent on a daily basis to stay sober. The moment we stop following our plan, we will relapse.

 

Even though the last time I PMO was 3 years ago, I consider my last slip with viewing provocative material on Youtube the start of my current sobriety period.

 

hi,

The following is from my therapy:

Any sexual stimulation that we act out with due to an urge is a slip. One of the following is considered a relapse:
- masturbation
- watching porn
- intetionally seeking out sexually stimulating material even if it has no nudity. This is often called edging.

Masturbation feeds the addiction and has harmful consequences such as ED. It is considered acting out.