video chat addiction and car crash videos?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Zorglub, May 17, 2019.

  1. Zorglub

    Zorglub Fapstronaut

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    Hi everybody,

    I have reset my counter after I went back a few times to video chat when I have engaged in a sexual conversation (generally with a young man in a daddy-son kink) and end up MO. I don't watch P anymore, but when I start going on chat rooms, I can't stop, it's bad (makes me feel like shit) and dangerous (for different reasons). I really need to stop. Not for a month or two (I can do that easily), but for ever! I'm also ashamed to admit that I like watching car crash videos on youtube, it doesn't turn me on but often will lead to going on chat rooms like ch**r****tte. Anybody can explain that?
     
    PeterJL likes this.
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Could you please explain the car crash thing better? You use it to engage in potentialy sexual conversations?
     
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  3. Zorglub

    Zorglub Fapstronaut

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    Hi! Sorry, English is not my first language. No, I watch them on Youtube as a guilty 'pleasure' and after a moment I go on dirtyrtte "just for a peep" but it often ends with MO . Somehow, I think it is the same mental process of transgression.
     
    GregHill likes this.
  4. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    Would you be willing to answer questions from a wife with concerns about similar issues in her husband?
     
    GregHill likes this.
  5. GregHill

    GregHill Fapstronaut

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    Chat sites and apps are a real problem I am beginning to view them as unpleasant Psubs!!!

    Especially coupled with other Psubs

    I am trying to keep away from them
     
  6. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    This is exactly how I relapsed 8 days ago by using tinder. Luckily it was once off and right as the shame began deleted all the content and conversations.

    I am now back to day 8 of no PM.

    I would say that chat rooms and apps are just as dangerous as P itself as in my case at least I tend to act out my fantasies and relapse
     
    GregHill likes this.
  7. GregHill

    GregHill Fapstronaut

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    For sure this is how I relapsed at the weekend
     
  8. cBettyford

    cBettyford Fapstronaut

    It seems to me you like heading for catastrophies. Either watch others in car crashes or watch your own on chat sites. Somehow you do not like to be happy?
    Or you compensate your suffering by consuming other people‘s suffering? Hm ...
     
  9. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    That depends- are you concerned your husband is watching car crash videos or dirty roulletting? If it is the latter I can relate and wouldn't mind answering questions. I can't speak to the car crash thing, although Blues Bros. was a cool movie.
    Also, are you my wife?
     
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  10. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Z-
    You mentioned chatroullette before and dirty roulette in the follow up post. Sorry to use the full, potentially triggering site names but there is a critical difference between the two. One is actually meant to be P (popup informs users they should be 18+, warns them nudity will occur, etc.) the other is meant NOT to be P but is frequently abused by flashers who ignore the terms of service- which is illegal. I'm not going to turn you into the police or anything, but are you flashing on both?
     
  11. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    No, I am not your wife. So I guess that means you, too, are married.

    My questions did run more toward the viewing of video crashes because my husband watches a lot of those. Which I personally hate, because it desensitizes. You must on some level feel the two are related, this and your addiction, because you brought it up. My concern is that watching this sort of violence initiates a sexual response. Do you feel, at least on some level, that this might be the case for you?
     
  12. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    Also, I forgot to add, my husband does not admit to any type of sexual addiction. But I am realizing that this is the case, even if he isn't ready to see it for himself. So there's not exactly any type of disclosure on his end. I only know what I've been able to find out and can prove, which is he watches a lot of porn, and seeks out women to chat and trade nudes with. Also, before marriage, he cheated a lot, and did own up to that prior to the marriage.
     
  13. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Does your husband not admit to watching the P/ chatting? Or do you mean he does not view it as an problem?
     
  14. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    Both, sorta. He has admitted, but only after much denial, even with absolute proof- this usually takes a few days-the admittance, and this is only in regard to the chatting. He doesn't deny porn use, but doesn't see it as a problem. Obviously he sees his chatting as a problem, but that hasn't stopped him from doing it or hiding it.
     
  15. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    So, is he on NoFap?
     
  16. Does He feel guilt?

    Does He feel guilt? Fapstronaut

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    No. I came to this forum hoping to get some insight into this addiction...hoping I can get some honesty from those who do admit to their addiction, for my own sense of understanding of what goes on inside the mind of others with these issues. I have personally fought my own addiction, but to prescription pain pills, so I get addiction at its core, just wanting to understand the behaviors and thought process in this aspect of addiction. Does that make sense?
     
  17. Tryinghardtoquit2

    Tryinghardtoquit2 Fapstronaut

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    I have spoken to a psych at length about porn and chat addiction. Chat is worse than porn and comparable to gaming / slot / pokie machines. The idea is you log on and invest time looking for chat partners (invest money) and you have a few matches. When you match and have a connection you have a small payout (dopamine) you sext or chat (more dopamine / little jackpot) and eventually find a suitable partner. You then masturbate and orgasm (jackpot / dopamine and reward). The orgasm is a powerful reward which keeps people coming back to chat.

    If he is using chat it is chronically addictive and hard to kick. Believe me I know. Not sure about the car crash stuff you mentioned though. All the best.
     

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