Virgin Girlfriend Drama

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Prince The Alpha Male, Sep 17, 2019.

  1. Prince The Alpha Male

    Prince The Alpha Male Fapstronaut

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    So I recently met up with my girlfriend whom I thought I'm very much in love with. We relaxed, made her a meal and watched a movie. During that time I made sexual advances which she rejected. We've known each other for over 7 years now and dated before this current relationship.

    When she left it was all good I even dropped her off at home with a kiss, met up with the guys during the weekend. Had a few drinks and the next morning something big hit me. I realised I wasn't in love with her as I was before. Like I said, we dated before and at first I loved her unconditionally, did everything for her but she wouldn't want to spend time with me, she would postpone and stood me up most of the time so I broke up with her.


    We recently decided to take another chance. I know she's still a Virgin, so when I tried making sexual advances I thought she would accept them being that we've been through so much together throughout the years, but she rejected. This weekend I realised I really don't feel the same way about her anymore but I'm scared to tell her. She will start thinking maybe it's because things are going great in my life now, and I'm losing interest but that's not the case.

    This is my first ever sexual attempt I did with her. Even when we dated the first time I respected her enough to wait until she wanted to talk about it or do it. This time when she rejected me I felt all the rejection I used to get from her the first time. The standing me up on dates and always being too busy that I realised I can't be with her anymore. I realised that I don't really feel the same way I did years ago. I do not want to go down that road again coz shes literally scared of everything, she is scared of trying everything. I do not wanna spend another year looking like the bad guy who's convincing the girl to do what she doesn't want to do so I think I should leave.

    I'm scared it will break her heart so bad coz she promised to be different this time and she has been making time for me and all, things she didn't do the first time. But I'm just not there anymore.

    Tips?
     
  2. Theres a disconnect here, because you say you want to have sex with her and yet you also say you've fallen out of love with her, or at least, no longer feel the same way about her as you did in the past. Why do you want sex with someone you don't love? Or is it that you still care for her, but you regret the loss of that 'love at first blush' feeling?

    In any case, it would be best if you discussed this with your girlfriend. Just ask bluntly: "I want to have sex with you, do you want to have sex with me?" Right now you two are in a dance of pursue and withdraw, and its going to continue that way because no one is taking the time to clear the air. Maybe she wants to have sex, but has some issue she needs to talk about first and is scared to bring it up (guys aren't the only ones who fear rejection). Maybe she's moved on with her feelings and doesn't want a sexual relationship. It could be any number of things that are getting in the way that she's not outright telling you. Bottom line is though, you won't know if you don't ask. Otherwise you're only projecting what she might be thinking. You don't know for sure until she tells you herself.

    And when you're asking, come at it from a place of trying to understand her point of view. The goal here is not to goad her into having sex, but to have a dialogue about sex. Relationships are built on trust, and communication facilitates that. If anything, she'll appreciate that you thought to hear her point of view.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2019
  3. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    this sounds like a sad story but you should leave her behind, for your own good.
     
  4. Leonardo Oliveira

    Leonardo Oliveira New Fapstronaut

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    Muitas mulheres têm rejeição sexual devido a um passado perturbador. Tente conversar, conheça as razões. Respeite sua vontade, paixão não é apenas vontade sexual, paixão não é amor, e talvez seja isso que ela está procurando. A virgindade é importante, e não é assim que deve ser vista. Desculpe pelo idioma, sou de outro país.
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  5. rohanpuch

    rohanpuch Fapstronaut

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    Mate, your username literally has "Alpha male" in it. Dump her ass and move on. I'm still surprised you put up with her crap for 7 goddamn years Jesus
     
  6. Captain!

    Captain! Fapstronaut

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    If its truly love. Even with no sex youll still be with her, time doesnt matter. But if love can be bound to conditionality for having sex, find someone who will have sex with, so you can love her.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2019
  7. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Talk to her about it.
     

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