Virgin in my 30's: Am I a loser ?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by bra131217, Aug 27, 2017.

Do you think I am a loser for being a virgin at 31

This poll will close on Aug 27, 2027 at 3:26 AM.
  1. Yes

    46 vote(s)
    9.1%
  2. No

    460 vote(s)
    90.9%
  1. Reinier

    Reinier Fapstronaut

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    I'm 25 and still a Virgin. I don't really care about it lol
     
    im_broken, Sirauder and Miguel Rocha like this.
  2. MrCAllen301986

    MrCAllen301986 Fapstronaut

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    No your not a loser, you're a champion for making this far in life and not giving away something so precious as your virginity. If I could do it all over again, I would first not get involved with PMO and then wait until I got married to lose my virginity with my wife, thus making sex special, because now for me, sex isn't special. Stay strong man and be proud.
     
  3. RitzyPETE123

    RitzyPETE123 Fapstronaut

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    What does it matter whether you are single or married, at the end is it not more important what we contribute to the world and how well we live with what we have!

    And no you aren't a loser because you are single!
     
    Miguel Rocha likes this.
  4. beggar15

    beggar15 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey just thought I'd mention, I'm in a similar boat. 32, virgin, and never kissed a girl. When I was about 3, witnessed a brutal rape. Can say I know the feeling and worry that it can cause. But I agree with most others here that there is hope for a more meaningful relationship some day. That being said, might have to deal with the nightmares to gain the courage and confidence to face the scary world of relationships.
     
    Miguel Rocha likes this.
  5. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    I think this is your problem here. Thinking you are a victim wanting to share grief over and over. If you think you are a victim you certainly behave as one and this is transmited to the opposite sex and all the people in your life. Victimhood is all about keeping yourself in suffering, repeating the feelings associated with your traumas, expecting your traumas to reacur from other people, and not taking responsibility for yourself and how you feel and how your life turnes out.......sometimes even for your entire lifetime. I know because I have been there.

    What you need is trama therapy so that you can realise your own worth and magnificence and you can finally take the matters in your own hands. Not waiting for thing to happen to you. If you continue to wait blaming everything on the "girls" or on the scenes you have witnessed, you might find out that you are 40 year old virgin still blaming things on the girls and the scenes.

    It is all about your self image and the energy you put out there. It is all about self love, self confidence and being open to positive experiences. It you expect good things to come your way.... they will.

    You can come out of victimhood anytime. You can heal deeply and become better than ever. Check out constelation therapy in your area. It works like magic removing the emotional trush we are carrying with us thus opening us to our original state of being in love with ourselves and the world. It opens us up to hapinness.

    Trying always opens you up for a failure, rejection, getting something wrong, but trust me, those feelings are much better than siting on the fence never taking charge of your life. Do not let your fears keep you away from trying. You need to face them. This is how you set yourself free. Even better is trying and succeeding so vire yourself up for success. When I woke up from my victimhood I was 38, so you still are infront of me. Get some help and start living your life creating what you want in it. Because your life is what you make of it. Literaly!

    Sex is beutiful but as long as you keep on associating it with your trama you will never even come close to enjoying it. Because your whole perception of it is associated with so much fear and negativity. You need to start seeing it as something beutiful. Then it will become this. It is an expression of love and ultimate act of being vunerable and open to sharing and receiving love. It gives life. It creates pleasure and keeps families together. It regulates your body. It is an act of giving and expressing love. It is a blessing to the mankind if used rightly, but a curse if abused. So stop MOing and get constelation therapy done followed by some other types of trama therapy. They would set you free.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2017
    mcgrim likes this.
  6. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

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    Relationships are not scary! What keeps all of you entrapped is thinking like this. Relationships are beutiful, even if they end or go wrong. They all teach us things about ourselves. It is all about taking small steps against your worst fears. Fears are the prison bars we set on ourselves. But if you face your fears you become free. Imagine how your life could be if you have no fear.... so many nice things you could try and experience.
     
  7. bra131217

    bra131217 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks everyone for your motivating and helpful opinions.
     
    Miguel Rocha likes this.
  8. bra131217

    bra131217 Fapstronaut

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    It means that I have witnessed my parents having sex as a child.
     
  9. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    Lots of kids walk in on their parents having sex by accident
     
  10. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  11. Messialdo

    Messialdo Fapstronaut

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    Losing your virginity is overrated.
     
  12. BeautyForAshes

    BeautyForAshes Fapstronaut

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    You are brave. I believe that if a woman believes that no other woman has fooled around with you since your "lotus flower" has bloomed, then it's a waste of time for them to.

    Can you explain more in-depth your personality?

    There are women who love you on the inside. I'm pretty sure that's how some of them feel about us guys.
     
  13. Randomphilia

    Randomphilia Fapstronaut

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    At a discussion I attended about dating the main speaker didn't even find his own current girlfriend until just recently, and he's around 30 years old. And he's admitted he's a bit hyperactive and preferred having fun in his own world than skirt chasing and he was still able to get into his current relationship.

    Personally I believe measuring your self worth based on one thing such as virginity and how many relationships you've been it is absurd. I admit, I've have thoughts before that just because I'm single and still a virgin that I'm a worthless POS. And I was around 20 and I still thought that!

    Look, as with the story I mentioned above, you'll find a person who will love you and appreciate you as you are. If virginity and being alone all the time still gets you down, open up about a little with someone you trust or on this website. Most of us are an understanding lot and we'll help provide you with our own ideas to help you feel better.

    My suggestion, have you tried focusing on your own other good merits? Sure you're a virgin, but hell you could be living a comfy debt free life while Joe over there is happy with his girlfriend but they're experiencing financial troubles being hard pressed to pay off their student loans while taking care of 3 children. Not to knock on people who are experiencing what Joe is going through but think of something positive to go on, instead of thinking that just cause you didn't have sex in high school or college or in your 20's that you're a loser.
     
  14. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    You should be proud
     
  15. Tron22

    Tron22 Fapstronaut

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    Start winning in everything else you doing. Going competitive at something is a best thing in my opinion. Become undeniably good at something and people will recognize it.
    I am a virgin (not even a kiss) in 20 and I get this loser vibe creeping in too. But when I am wining and doing good in other aspects of my life the issue of virginity become so insignificant that I can hardly see it.
     
    im_broken and P.S. Daniel like this.
  16. I lost my virginity at 23 last winter and I am telling you it's not really all it's cracked up to be. I did it with a random women that I knew I would never see again.

    I think loves more important then sex and I imagine I would have probably enjoyed it more if I wasn't addicted to pmo. People get too caught up about sex and I am telling you we are better off waiting for the right person rather then wasting it on a stranger.
     
  17. BalancedLife

    BalancedLife Fapstronaut

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    I'm just going to drop this piece of ancient knowledge. Hate me as much as you want for that.

    The Fox and the Grapes
    Driven by hunger, a fox tried to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine but was unable to, although he leaped with all his strength. As he went away, the fox remarked 'Oh, you aren't even ripe yet! I don't need any sour grapes.' People who speak disparagingly of things that they cannot attain would do well to apply this story to themselves.


    --Aesop
     
  18. grandstand 1

    grandstand 1 Fapstronaut

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    I was a virgin until 34. Hang in there.
     
    Miguel Rocha likes this.
  19. sargam

    sargam Fapstronaut

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    If you can't encourage , don't demotivate.
     
  20. I'm 29 now and never had sex because I've been a hardcore masturbator since I was 17. I have had relationships in the past but they have never lasted more than 2 months. It's so embarrassing now to admit my innocence. I've been so entranced with porn that I know I have developed PIED when the moment is near. I felt like a basket case for so long believing getting laid is just a pipe dream. You can't lose hope. It's not too late to turn this around like I am
     
    Clean Plate and Empty Red Cloud like this.

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