Virgin in my 30's: Am I a loser ?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by bra131217, Aug 27, 2017.

Do you think I am a loser for being a virgin at 31

This poll will close on Aug 27, 2027 at 3:26 AM.
  1. Yes

    45 vote(s)
    9.2%
  2. No

    444 vote(s)
    90.8%
  1. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

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    Don’t get addicted to AMP it can become like alcohol or gambling and drive you to ruin. Paying for sex can be a destructive habit.
     
  2. SolarCaine

    SolarCaine Fapstronaut

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    agree with this. it can get out of control.

    plus you start seeing women as a means to just satisfy your itch...

    I've never had problem with women but after I went to a couple of those massage parlors It made me look at women in a different way...
     
  3. Mr.Mask

    Mr.Mask Fapstronaut

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    I am by nature a thrifty person. I very aware this can be a money sink. However, I am doing this more than to get my rocks off. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I crave physical intimacy but I uncomfortable with it. In large part due to unfamiliarity. AMP has desensitized my anxiety in this matter. It had also revealed I had PIED, the nail in the coffin that convinced me that Porn was bad for me.

    I don't resent your warnings, I know they come from a good place.
     
  4. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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  5. AnotherWay

    AnotherWay Fapstronaut

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    I believe it has to do with a young child witnessing intercourse take place between his parents. The child, not being mentally equipped to properly interpret what he is seeing, is left to assign his own significance to what he has witnessed and this is usually something negative.
     
  6. I'm 26yo and still virgin, I'm okay with that, I have other matters to care about in my life, women will come in right time. I'm not waiting for the "right girl", I mean, if I meet a nice girl and get along with her, if the heat of moment allows it, of course I'll have sex with her, even if I ain't staying for life with her.
     
    Little kitty likes this.
  7. Little kitty

    Little kitty Fapstronaut

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    Ooooh halo. . .we in same age and i'm still virgin too. . .wow . . .
     
  8. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    Everyone is a loser in someways but the fact that your here on nofap means you're a winner in the making.
     
  9. Lee000000000000000000001

    Lee000000000000000000001 Fapstronaut

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    As a result of being a virgin u don't have like 20 STD's, never have to remember a birthday, or accidentally get someone pregnant and pay some child support. So yeah u may actually be pretty good. Just be yourself and the right woman may eventually come around and actually be glad that your a virgin. Good luck
     
  10. PurifyingMyself

    PurifyingMyself Fapstronaut

    Being a virgin is admirable. Current society thinks of it the opposite way.

    Sex outside of marriage is a sin (i.e. cheating with someone other than your spouse is a sin - if you're not married it is a sin to have sex because it is not good for you). Marriage is suppose to be wholesome, a union, where two individuals come closer together and take a strong oath to protect, honour, respect and take care of each other. In Islam, this is what marriage is and thus sex in marriage is charity (i.e. you get good deeds for having sex with your spouse).

    Man you need to change your friends.


    A drop from the sky if it falls on to a garden it becomes part of a flower, if it falls into a cup of a poor person it quenches thirst, if it falls into the gutter than you don't even want to wash your hands with it, into an oyster, it becomes a pearl.

    Make sure you choose your friends wisely because they shape your habits and thinking. Choose friends who are wholesome and good for you.
     
  11. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Totally agree, I wish someone my age thinks like you, I'm 19 and the great deal is to have sex, not love
     
  12. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

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    Love is what matters but be careful and don’t get overly attached - women especially young women are always changing their mind about how they feel about a guy. A woman is only as loyal as her options. Basically the prettier she is the more likely she is to cheat.
     
  13. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Not true, if you think that way of women then maybe that's the reason you're alone. Mistrusting without reason is something to run away of.
     
  14. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

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    I chose to be alone and believe me pal I have had my share of women in my life. This is a general statement about the female condition and there are exceptions but this is the common mentality. It’s called “monkey branching” and “hypergamy”. If you want to be a blue pill beta make orbiter for the rest of your life go right ahead.
     
  15. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

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    I just realized your a female - that explains the respons: own group preference.
     
  16. Clauss24

    Clauss24 Fapstronaut

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    If you are going to judge yourself by the perception of society, yes you are a loser. But how superficial is this judgement!
    Why would I or you judge ourselves by how stupid or low life people see the world. Is having sex all what is in the world? I don't think so. Do you work toward your dreams? Are you on nofap, which is not easy to do and help toward achieving goals. The number one judger of you is you. If you take the judgement of others into your heart and allow it to be who you are then, maybe you are a loser. But have a big fat no inside you by which you walk by, face the outside world by, face even yourself by. And tell yourself, I'm more than what anyone think of me.
     
  17. Mike Hastings

    Mike Hastings Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely no in any way shape or form are you a loser. When a girl shuts you down for being a Virgin alone think of that as a blessing. Although it may not feel that way at the time believe me it is. I’m getting married this May. I would give anything except my son to give my virginity to my fiancé on our wedding night. Virginity true is a gift to be given. The world may call you a loser but Christ nor your future spouse ever will. It is true here that nice guys finish last. But this world isn’t all there is, there is the next one. We will all have to answer to what we have done.

    There are women out there for you. It isn’t extinct. I will say it is rare especially in our dark times where everything truly sacred is “relevant”....which is frankly a huge stinking pile of BULL SHIT.

    Good for you. May God Bless You and Keep You.

    I will give you some advise on women if you want it. They are just as conflicted and confused as men. What they truly desire is a leader. Someone who is direct AND virtuous. It comes off to them as ballsy and something they cannot argue with. Stay away from the ones who argue against virtue.

    It’s ok to be an asshole if you guarding truth.

    Quit porn and you will find her by her character traits. The porn is clouding your perception of who to look for in a wife. The modest woman will not let you down in the bedroom she truly seeks to please because she is not just out to get hers same as you.

    Patience and prayer.

    Happy hunting.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. devinheppy82

    devinheppy82 Fapstronaut

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    Well said Mike. I’m 19 and I’m a Virgin, and I’m fine with that. Almost everyone I know my age isn’t a Virgin, but I stay strong to stay the way I am until I get married. I was raised Mormon, so I was taught to wait till marriage, and religious or not it’s a great thing to do. When you find your soul mate, and you decide to marry them, wouldn’t you want to give your true self to them? I know I would, and I hope that my soul mate, whoever she is, thinks the same way and waits until marriage.
     
  19. ackyvatsal

    ackyvatsal Fapstronaut

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    I read the whole dam 8 pages of this discussion.

    Also i am in the same situation but the difference is I am a 24 year virgin. It feel really frustrating to see almost 95% of people around you in a relationship and good ,sweet girls falling for disgusting guys, people indulging in romance while you even haven't got a chance to kiss.

    I feel for you mate because I am into this too.

    But after 2 months of Nofap here is what I realized:

    • ** Always remember you are Virgin by CHOICE !
    • ** You are not virgin by circumstances. You did not fall for cheap sex tricks while your other mates were ruining their first time experience. You wanted your first time to be special that is why you held on without giving into temptations. You are different.
    • ** Not to fall for escort / prostitution / sex for money trap. I don't know why people suggest that. Its just nonsense. Fall for cigreet or weed but not for prostitutaion.
    • ** Yes i understand their is a lot of sexual frustrations. Virgins like us want to have someone by our side. But its ok. Fast before feast is a must.
    • ** Always remember you are Virgin by CHOICE ! , repeat it daily , You are different!!!


    Also a virgin single guy has a super power . He can be " friendZoned" by every girl. That simply means that guys like us who have stayed away from escorts /prostitutes ,may not have received sex but we can be friends with every girl. It ok if they friendzone us. but still we have the ability to get in their friend circle. Because we are different.

    This difference will help us find the most classy girls on the planet.



    Just now the only thing we can do is :

    • Hold on to our current philosophy
    • Stay away from paid sex
    • Improve our body
    • Meet 30 new girls every month. Try to expand our female friend circle.
    • Lets wait and loose our virginty in the most beautiful way that we remember all our lives.




    If I am wrong please do correct me. And help me too. I need good advice too. Please similar guys do connect with me . I too really need a like minded group. Msg me or connect with me on twitter or instagram
    Signing off @ackyvatsal
     
    u376 and (deleted member) like this.
  20. rajat09@

    [email protected] New Fapstronaut

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    there is so much other then sex in life to think about ..i am sure you must have dont many funny or different kind of things just not having sex does not make you a loser
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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