Virgin until marriage is bullshit

When you decide to buy a car, would you like a brand new one with protection foil on it, fresh and ready to go or a second/third/forth hand one?

That's just a simple analogy..

However ,everyone is free to do what they want! And everyone has the freedom for opinion.

 

I don’t believe in waiting until marriage. It’s pretty dumb.

 

I agree it’s all bullshit mostly enforced by religion

 

Because you need to know if you’re sexually compatible with your partner BEFORE you make a lifelong commitment to them.

 

I think that everybody who sees that as something that is so easy to debate with only one sentence, "its bullshit" "its shit" "its the best thing to do" is coming from a scarcity mindset and insecurity that something else of what he believes might be actually "more truth" or better.For me i dont think that things like that should be pre-decided, like i will find the first girl coming into me and love her till i die, or that i will block myself into not even trying to experience something like love so i can get laid more and with different woman, both of these mentalities might have negative effects on you.I believe that we should just have pure intentions to everything we do and be open about everything, what happens if you love someone so much that you might ignore or alternate all the signs he gives you about, that she might have bad personality being evil, cheating you manipulating your love ,taking advantage of it, how is it possible for you to have zero defense mechanism? How many people get married in rush only to find out they just can not make it together, in my country the divorce rate is like 65% which is insane if you consider it.

 

Are you serious? If you decide to make a life long commitment based on sexual compatibility then it's best not to even get married. Marriage doesn't revolve around sex. Sex is a benefit of marriage.

If you want sexual compatibility it's best to see a prostitute. Leave virtuous virgins alone that want to wait until marriage to marry other virtuous virgins, simple as that.

That "spark" of infatuation that you had at the beginning of the relationship will die out. The excitement of sex that you had when you first met your wife will get old. As time goes on, you both will get old. You, or she, might develop health problems, sex will become infrequent. Her breasts will sag, she will start to lose her sex appeal.

Do you get it? When the sexual compatibility in the relationship that you had at the beginning starts to die out, what will you do? What other qualities will your woman have? Don't marry for sexual compatibility, if you do you'll regret it. That's your porn brain thinking.

Almost all of my friends who lost their virginitys before marriage have a special experience tied to the person they lost it to. A experience that their future spouse will never share with them. They are seconds. Their bodies were "known" by a temporary person in their life then eventually discarded like a sex doll. Sex can be emotionally and physically draining.

However, if you frequent sex with no strings attached, then it's going to be harder for you to developed a emotional connection to your future spouse during sexual intercourse.

Sex dolls are more virtuous than humans these days actually. Humans are becoming more like wild animals, through porn, media, etc, we forgot what made us special as humans.

 

Another thing. I noticed a lot of guys say that they wouldn't marry a non-virgin women. To some of them it's like buying a used car.

Well let me tell ya. A lot of us women think the same thing about you men. The media tells men that it's uncool to be a virgin, that all women want "experienced men". But for me and a lot of women that I know that isn't the case.

If a man can't control himself and wait until marriage how do I know if he'll control himself and won't cheat after marriage? Promiscuous men aka "fuck bois" aren't masculine or attractive one bit. There's a reason the term "fuck boi" exists, it isn't a cool title, it's a warning title to virtuous women that they need to stay the fuck away from you.

I sure as hell know I'm never going to commit or suck a guys dick that was up multiple woman's buttholes. I have the same expectations of a man that he would have for me.

 

You need to know if you're sexually compatable before you get married. What if one is really really bad at sex, or better yet, really rough at sex. Then you're stuck with them

 

Yeah, people also test drive a car before buying it

 

Reasons for virginity at marriage (as a socially enforced norm):
* Encourages marriage (especially for men)
* Gives confidence in paternity of children
* Minimalises disease spread
* Improves emotional bonding of couple

Reasons for marriage:
* Creates optimal conditions for raising of the next generation
* Requires members of society to be (more) responsible
* Monogamous marriage reduces social problems by distributing partners evenly
* It is a rite of passage that gives direction and structure to human lives

 

Exactly. It's hard for me to get my head around the idea of sexual compatibility. Say if the SO has an accident that leaves them with a disability you're just going to divorce them? If you both desire each other you can find a way to be compatibility.

Having said all that...

This is a bad, bad, bad, bad analogy. I think everyone is broken. Even virgins are second hand. Some might even be third, fifth or sixth hand. Sure I believe you need to be in a healthy place before dating but only one-year-olds don't have brokenness.

Even if you're not virgin you're not a second-hand car or half a chocolate bar or dirty water.

 

Yeah and i think its even worse if you analyze it at a higher level. Meaning that a second hand human or sixth etc is going to have the same effects on him as a car and is going to follow that analogy, a human maybe can be bright and new and after "use". Oh now i saw you already said what i wanted to say in your last line....

 

Even more, what about when you have kids? Guys don't think about this, but having a baby (especially if the mother breastfeeds) REALLY knocks the woman's libido into a tailspin. Not to mention all the late nights and early mornings and the constant attention that a baby needs. It happened to me and lots of other young dads I know, we had a great sex life - and then we had kids. Totally worth it, but very frustrating (and frankly unexpected).

It's completely unrealistic to assume that even if two people are "sexually compatible" at the beginning of the relationship that there won't be bumps along the road later on.

 

well all I can say its a choice there are pros and cons to each side of the question I think finding a women that is a virigin is pretty rare

 

Bingo. Saying you have to find out if you’re “sexually compatible” is already a sign that you do not love the other person since love is an appreciation of another persons personality aka their personhood; the very thing which makes them unique and irreplaceable. To base someone’s compatibility on sex is to value another persons worth on a superficial level. Sexual compatibility IS objectification.

If two people love each other then they will be able to communicate each other’s needs in the bedroom and sex will not be a problem, nor will it remain “bad”, since bad sex is always caused by a lack of communication between two people.

The need for “sexual compatibility” is a lie and one that has been accepted mainly so people can justify their lack of restraint. Others believe it because they don’t know any better.


People aren’t cars! People aren’t objects!

 

If you think sexual compatibility is necessary then you need to prove why it is and why it cannot be overcome by communication between partners. We’ve heard the logical reasons for why it’s not necessary, but I have yet to hear one logical reason for why it is necessary.

 

In my opinion, it’s completely uncalled for to compare virginity to something new or something used, especially when it’s pushed by people who supposedly believe in repentance and restitution (I’m not accusing any specific person here). Not everyone loses their virginity willingly (such as rape victims), and even those who did lose it willingly, I think it’s sick to say they’re worth less than they actually are just because of a choice they made.

 

Exactly! Our value as a person shouldn't be due to whether we're virgins or not.
Sarah Bessey wrote a good article on this issue.

 

That article definitely hits the spot about how many religions feel about virginity, which does disgust me. I didn’t remember Jesus saying any of that about spit, etc; all I remember him saying of an adulteress is to go and sin no more