Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Mr. Human, Dec 23, 2018.

  1. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

    actually after nofap i have no problem talking with other people, both with man or woman, and i have no problems talking with beautifull woman, i have close friends that so beautifull and we talked a lot like friends do

    But to escalate that friend status to another level i just dont have any knowledge or even guts due to i never had any gf yet...

    But i have plan actually to fix that in middle of 2019 i will attain some class and learn how to boost my confiedence. Hope this works
    the awakening likes this.
  2. the awakening

    the awakening Fapstronaut

    First of all thank you for your response, it is funny because to me the fact that you have now no problem to be social with men and women and even beautiful women proves that you will not struggle that much for getting girls. I mean most people with social anxiety would shit themselves just talking to girls.

    I Think it is smart from you to attein some classe for boosting your confidence, it proves that you relaly want to improve yourself. Not that you're bad but you know what i mean.

    However your problem might not be your confidence level but more the way you set up your relationships with women in general. It is tricky to not fall in the friendzone and still be funny and friendly with them.

    For me personally i really have to improve on the discussion part that's where i really struggle. I'm watching RSD Max and other guys that pick up girls directly in the street.

    I want to be able to seduce women anywhere and any type of women. I don't know what you think of all the pick up girls and stuff? i would be interest in your opinion

  3. I have felt exactly like this most of my life. finally, when I was 21, I found a good looking girlfriend. Then I had a fling with a stunning spanish girl. but then long time nothing, so I told myself the same thing again and that resulted in more nothing. Fortunately, I am married to a great woman now and mostly (not completely) over these troubles.

    As long as you feel this way, not much will happen unless you get really lucky. You need to learn to accept yourself. That is pretty hard, but will happen over time. Stop remembering only the bad times, think about the times when you succeeded in something. Discover where you can succeed and where you have already succeeded.

    Don't ever give up. Don't waste your life believing that you are a loser.

    Please consider counselling. i might have had a better life if I had done that.

    I hope you will get over this issue one day, at least to some degree.
  4. Mr. Human

    Mr. Human Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the advice.

    I don't see how counselling could help. I'm ashamed of my lifestyle, and discussing this problem with a stranger IRL would make me very uncomfortable, if not humiliated... that's why I posted here anonymously, I can't talk about this with anyone.
  5. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

    I’m so glad you are here my friend! I can see from the words you use (ashamed, uncomfortable, humiliated) that you are really in a lot of pain. You don’t have to answer this but it sounds like you were bullied by someone or maybe even more than one person who put you down or made you feel you had no value. So now you do the same to yourself.

    You want something better but that voice in your head says “you’ll never change...” and you believe that voice.

    You need to stop listening to that voice. You have come here for a reason. Many of us who are responding are trying to tell you how valuable you are and how much we love you. We want you to love yourself too.

    Let us know how we can help you please. If you don’t want to say it publicly you can always send someone here you think you might be able to talk to a private message.

    Be kind to yourself my friend!
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

    Hey man. Maybe find an old school boxing gym and learn the sweet science? It's not for everyone but it's one of those sports where it's all individual. If you are looking at your isolation as your weakness, then turn it into your strength. It's a good way to build confidence and prove yourself to you.
  7. hollyman

    hollyman Fapstronaut

    sory taking so long to response , i persobally dont know abbout rsd max, but im googling it and what pop out like how to talk to nerdy girl, hot girl etc

    i do buy some material for some men improvement name love class (if its translated to english). Short storie there are 2 biggest men improvement program in my country like rsd max, name love class and the other i forgot. Why i choose love class is simple because it didnt focus on female, but focus on man inprovement.... They taught you abbout how to choose parfume, how to dress and even porn addiction too and they do picking up girls on street but just to train their mentallity when meeting and chat with girls

    If i can sugest you, be carefull on choose class like that,,,i think no secret word that magically make girls love u, it is ourself who must improve so girls will automatically likes you
  8. fthis6464

    fthis6464 Fapstronaut

    Your life might be f****ed up if losing your virginity is a goal. Why exactly do you want to lose your virginity? It probably isn't for pure pleasure, but to make you feel manly and validated. There are other ways to do that such as hitting the gym or traveling the world. I would look into other ways to fill your need, life isn't all about sex.
    Angus McGyver likes this.
  9. Nabaski

    Nabaski Fapstronaut

    Is losing virginity that important? Because I feel like I'd rather wait until I find the right person than doing it just for the sake of it and making it look like a total fiasco (didn't lose mine yet, never dated also)
  10. SpoonDog

    SpoonDog Fapstronaut

    The problem with virginity is that it's like a monkey on your back that becomes bigger and heavier as you get older. Certainly when you see 30 creeping up on you, at a time when society expected you to lose it long ago, it's a real burden. I don't think it's necessarily purely about the sex, it's about finding someone who actually wants to be with you and is open to being that intimate with you. Though I'd imagine losing it to a prostitute or during some drunken fumble probably isn't going to cut it.
    arken3 likes this.
  11. getontop

    getontop Fapstronaut

    You are in the dark place. It's all an illusion.

    You need to focus on enjoying your life, live, get multiple hobbies, read, study, play instruments, learn languages, build a new brain! Undermine the dark thoughts, starve them of fuel and they will wither and die. It's not easy, but it must be done.

    In life we all have a cross to bear. This is yours. Bear your cross, become well again, find your love and die knowing you did Gods work.
    Grandpa61 likes this.

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