Want an AP. I'm 20M. We'll kill it together.. :)

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Saber_tooth7, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. Kratos95

    Kratos95 Fapstronaut

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    @asfixiated Welcome! Hope you are getting settled in and if you have any questions just let us know. @f1rew1re and I are pretty active on this post.
    (Even though we did not start it) We have grown very close in a matter of only weeks. Good luck on your journey and we hope you stick around!
     
    f1rew1re and asfixiated like this.
  2. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Dear @asfixiated ,

    Welcome aboard, expect a little turbulence getting to your destination ;)

    Watch out for the changes from Day 5+. In my recent experience, i felt quite a lot more energised and clear headed. This got me focus on the issues that mattered at work and prioritize what needs my attention and what can wait. You should watch out for this new found self confidence, build on from there onwards :)

    All the very best getting to day 15.

    Cheers.
     
  3. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    It has been a challenging week at work, trying phase in the project. We are expecting HUGEeeee volumes of information to flow in and nervous about the architecture and an extremely difficult customer.

    Like the other Saturdays, i have an exam in about 4 hours from now. Fundamentals of Management ( Zzzz ), hoping to have a good crack at the revision before the exam.

    Post exam plans look sketchy at the moment. Drinks with friends or a lady friend, not sure whats it going to be.

    It is the weekend and all the more a reason to be on guard. Very impressive to see all of us make a sincere attempt at getting past the PMO trap. If nothing else, the sincerity definitely is awe inspiring and gives me the confidence that i am not alone in getting past a habit difficult to get rid off.

    Hope you guys enjoy your weekend with family & friends.

    Cheers!

    PS: I ordered a Garmin Band and i should start running and working out as soon as it gets delivered. ( Smacks Self the 23rd time)
     
    asfixiated likes this.
  4. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    So I was just taking a nap when a strong urge hit me. But I made it! Even a few days ago an urge like this would have totally overcome me, but I stayed calm and collected and I totally killed it. It tried its best, and it didn't even have a chance. And then I had another... and I destroyed it. Crushed it. Obliterated it. And it came back again and again, and every time I hit it square in the jaw.

    Ok, actually it wasn't that violent :D - in fact I beat the urges by imagining myself giving in, and the discomfort I normally feel afterwards, and then saying out loud, with determination "this is not happiness - this is not what I want". Then I put the "urge" in a "bubble" - I disconnected it from my thoughts and observed it, as I let myself relax and let the urge "drift away". Then it tried to come back, so I did the same thing. And each time it came back, I became more relaxed and more in control of it.

    I'm still shaking from the excitement of overcoming the urge! I've never beaten one this strong before, and yet this time I won, with energy and willpower to spare. In fact I have more energy now than I did before! I really think that posting on the forums regularly has helped me internalize some of the things I've learned! This is working!

    I'm winning! It's day 2, and I'm beating this thing!
     
    f1rew1re likes this.
  5. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Couldnt have phrased it any better @asfixiated. I think acknowledging the presence of a PMO problem, talking about it, reading similar struggles offers a sense of companionship, and that seems to help. I read your post about kicking the nicotine habit and agree that quitting PMO has been been a lot more complex than cigarettes. I had my last smoke about 18 months back and have never felt the urge inspite of enjoying drinks in the company of my friends who do smoke.

    PMO on the other hand has a variety of trigger points. From instagram, television, books etc, every media exposed to us has some sort of a sexual element and quantifying the pleasure points an orgasm hits is far easier and simpler than alcohol or smokes.

    In my experience the brain develops a symbiotic relationship with the high of hitting the orgasm and biologically it feels like a good thing. Every time you see something sexualised, the brain associates the image or video with the orgasm high it remembers or is wired to. Getting over this trap is what makes kicking PMO so much more difficult and complex.

    The main challenge is that at some point in life you will have a partner and Os will happen the way it should. The pleasure points will get their dose of dopamine after a LONG time, these journals hopefully will then act as a remainder that falling back into the trap of a next orgasm is very easy.

    Today marks the day when i successfully complete my 45 day challenge. I am happy that i was able to take care of myself through it.

    I look forward to regaining complete spiritual, physical, emotional control over my mind and body.

    I do feel that life has changed for the better since quitting PMO. Its like a weight has been lifted off my back and i seem to have better conversations and a lot more focus towards serious things like planning my investments, academics, hobbies etc.

    I do acknowledge that the problem is far from over and i need to have a plan to control my self over the next phase.

    Its been wonderful logging onto NoFap and read all the stories everyone has posted. I want to tell all of you that irrespective of different races, geographies, personal beliefs; few things are shared between us such as value for a human life, being emotional about family & friends. Taking steps to secure the well being of your loved ones. Porn in my case desensitised me a fair bit and definitely had the potential to not think about these variables of life the way i do today.

    This has been the biggest change as far as i am concerned. I am a lot more secure in my skin today and look forward to the many fixes in the weeks to come.

    My next Nofap challenge is to extend the program by another 45 days and include exercises as part of the deliverable. ( Sorry about sounding all business like!! )

    Much gratitude to the folks who started this site.

    Cheers!!
     
    asfixiated likes this.
  6. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Are you planning to stay on the NoFap Forums for your next challenge :D?
     
  7. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Today's update!

    Had another really great day. Just beat some strong urges literally 10 minutes ago - it took some effort, but not anywhere near as much as it used to take mw.My method of Meta-Meta-Cognition (see signature) seems to be working really well for me! I'm not fatigued or anything, I feel great!

    It's been a good Sunday beyond that. Chilled, played some video games, sat on the porch and had coffee in the morning, then called my family and made arrangements for holiday travel. Very relaxing!

    Going strong! When I wake up tomorrow, I will have successfully completed my first weekend of NoFap! Woohoo! Never completed a weekend before, they're what always got me.

    Stay strong friends!
     
  8. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Yep Mate @asfixiated . I have extended my challenge by another 45 days :)

    My priorities this time do include working out, have been pretty lethargic.

    I start running tomorrow, got my garmin vivofit band a while back :D
     
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  9. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Just got back from a 3 mile walk, reading emails before i hit the bed.
    The plan is to wake up at 615 AM and get an hours run in before i leave for work.
    I also do have an exam scheduled for the sunday coming up. Will need to start studying soon :( ( Algorithms & Programming )

    @Kratos95 where are thou mate?

    And also @Pratyush ?
     
  10. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey! I'm a programmer too!

    @f1rew1re Be careful with the big commitment on the run - an hour is pretty long if you haven't done much running before. I would say 15 minutes is enough if you're just starting out! And also changing your wake up time to be radically earlier can be detrimental - it's best to take it slow.

    But the ambition is good, and if you think you know what you're doing then go for it! You got this!
     
  11. Kratos95

    Kratos95 Fapstronaut

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    @f1rew1re sorry, I have been a hermit. I relapsed and I didn't even make it a week. Instead of me just trying to stop an old habit I need to replace it with a new one. I'm going to start working out tomorrow. Wish you guys the best. Control your thoughts, don't let your thoughts control you! I'm not going to get on for awhile, thinking about it makes it worse but I'll see you guys soon:)
     
  12. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Kratos95 ! Real sorry to hear about the relapse. That's ok though! Just keep trying and don't be hard on yourself.

    My advice is - instead of trying to control your thoughts and emotions, just let them exist and try to relax! Your thoughts can't actually force you to relapse, though it may seem that way sometimes.

    Stay strong, and welcome back! Trying again after you fail is the most important factor of success!
     
  13. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey team!

    So last night I slept rather poorly, and today I've been very tired all day. Now, before these past few days I would have really let this kind of thing get to me. But today I didn't!

    So generally today I've been kind of tired. Before, I would look at the tiredness and say "oh, yeah, definitely tired. Not gonna get anything done today!" But instead today I looked at it and said "This tiredness is uncomfortable, sure. But I should let myself relax! It's not the end of the world if I'm a bit tired. I can still try to do things."

    I've realized as part of this reboot that I am not my feelings or my emotions. Rather, my "true me" is represented by my goals and my dreams! And with this, I've realized that I don't have to do what my in-the-moment feelings and emotions tell me - I can pick and choose which ones to react to.

    End result? I went home and cooked myself lunch during my lunch break at work, I managed to get a reasonable amount of work done on my current project and I even did some dishes after lunch! I mean, I was a bit more distracted than I would be if I were at full capacity, but I didn't let that deter me!

    And it all came from the realization that my feelings do not control me - only the way I perceive those feelings does! Another great lesson learned from my reboot.

    I've really done it this time guys! I've beaten this unproductive, unhelpful habit! Woo!
     
    f1rew1re likes this.
  14. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Day 48, Time: 12:20 AM
    Having the strongest PMO urges ever since i signed up for the program. I debated the pros & cons of "slipping" and if i can have my "one" happy night with porn & my favourite porn stars.

    Paced through my room a fair bit and decided to write it into this forum. The reason i am not viewing porn at this very moment is because of the realisation that porn has desensitised me and i don't want to be a guy who's ok with being insensitive or emotionless.

    I want to feel emotionally connected to a girl i date and this circus of Porn - fap - porn is designed to trap me for life and not really need a human partner.

    I really do wish to defeat this problem and fuck its so much more difficult than saying fuck off to cigarettes.

    Its like all my brain is telling me this very moment is "I NEED AN ORGASM, I NEED THE HIGH OF AN ORGASM AFTER 50 DAYS. I DEMAND IT."

    Its definitely a difficult evening and the next few minutes, i won't relent or give in.

    Should have taken heed to @Pratyush , deleting tinder & all other dating apps. Don't need women around at the moment. Need to re-focus my energy and narrow down my sole & core motivation to remain committed to this program over the next goal.

    It feels so easy to be complacent and give in, this will be the BIGGEST MISTAKE.

    Have an exam to prepare for and tomorrow will be spent doing that & a mile long run.

    The benefits of being on the good side are far too many to sell myself off once again.

    Will write in again tomorrow.

    Good to hear that you have picked up the much needed momentum @asfixiated , all the very best for the weeks ahead.

    @Kratos95 Lets re-start, shall we? :)
     
  15. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @f1rew1re !

    Today is day 6, so this is officially my longest NoFap streak! I still feel great - I've been a bit tired, but that's mostly because my sleep patterns have been off recently, so it's understandable.

    Off to the gym now! Have a great day all :)!
     
  16. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Great to hear that mate, in about a week from now that`ll be day 13. Time flies and how! :)

    Last night i had serious urges but thankfully common sense and control prevailed, i will be starting with my preparation for my sunday exam in about an hour. Will get back to the forums later in the evening after some studies & a run.

    Important 3 days before the final exam for Semester1 on Sunday. It is quite important that i sign off the semester on a high.

    Cheers.
     
    asfixiated likes this.
  17. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Hmm. I relapsed a while back.
    Still to come to terms with the disappointment of it, there was no reason for indulgence. Brain 1 - Me 0.

    I lost my plot after 45 days and the results are here to see. I am committed to not letting Porn ruin my life.
    This slip cannot be a gateway to many more, i need to arrest it here and get some needed momentum again.

    I did complete my studies and instead of going for the run, i opened the computer. Haven't feel more ashamed deleting my browser history in a while.

    Resetting my counter. It is a bad day at the office, not a lost war.

    I will have some dinner and take a walk, come back and go to sleep directly. Do not wish to re-open my computer and browse around.

    My new target is to see off 2015 without any PMO slips, i hope to focus all my energy in my exams and sports.

    Cheers.
     
  18. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry to hear about the counter reset. It's good that you're not looking at it like a lost battle though!

    I'm sure you learned a lot from 45 days. I'm only on my 7th and I feel like I've learned some incredible stuff.

    And it's good to see that you're recommitted right off the bat! Nothing more important than that.

    Stay strong!
     
  19. Saber_tooth7

    Saber_tooth7 Fapstronaut

    "It has been my observation that most people get ahead during the time that others waste"
    -Henry Ford

    It's has been a true lesson for all of us here. @f1rew1re , @asfixiated , @Kratos95 , and all others. My message to you is - you have not failed. Yet, you haven't succeeded.
    We can STILL DO IT! As f1re1re experienced, we could fail at day 50 too. Our minds are designed that way. It will try to trick us. And it will do it, even though you have abstained for a year or so. But then, the desire to do such shitty things will be far lss than now, our minds will be clear, we would not have an "escapist" behaviour, fear from stress, tension, or work load. When you get comfortable with your fears, your fears will get comfortable with you.

    I might have failed myself, but that phase was too stressful for me. That experience taught me to be comfortable with my fears. And man, am i not giving up now. I do crave for what f1rew1re felt like on day 50, rationalizing myself, affirming and then denying, and finally win the fight. I give you all my word, I'll reach there. I promised myself on my birthday, that i should get serious now, now that i am 21 (bday was on 21st of October, coincidence??), it's time to take action. And i hope all of you will do the same. :)
     
    asfixiated likes this.
  20. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys! Just checking in for the day. All good here - my mind is becoming "lighter" every day, it feels. I've also been keeping my other good habits, but not because I have to - I've simply felt inclined to do them. It's been great!
     

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