Want an AP. I'm 20M. We'll kill it together.. :)

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Saber_tooth7, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. Saber_tooth7

    Saber_tooth7 Fapstronaut

    @asfixiated Yes, it does happens almost automatically, that work doesn't "needs" to be done, it "wants" to be done.

    Update:feeling okay.
     
  2. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    So I want to apologize in advance for the amount of profanity in this message. But I'm completely f***ing ecstatic right now, as I've had the best evening of my entire life.

    So today after work I had the worst urge by far - I almost let the "Pressure of the Streak" get to me. Fortunately somebody posted a thing about wearing "commitment" wristbands the other day and I bought one and have been wearing it for a few days.

    Let me say this right now - I don't know who this mysterious wristband-granting stranger was, and I can't find the post to save my life. But whoever he is, he should be put forward for f***ing sainthood.

    When I put on the wristband several days ago, I made myself this promise:

    "asfixiated - you can masturbate. Nothing is stopping you. But there's one condition - if you do, you must cut off the wristband with scissors before you do."

    That's it - notice that there's not even a commitment in that promise to "think about my goals" or "think long and hard if I want this". In truth, thinking about cutting off the wristband already makes me do those things, but adding that to the promise makes me more "scared" of following the promise, because it makes it "heavier" and "more dramatic", and then I might just relapse with the wristband on to avoid "looking the promise in the eye".

    Anyway, I beat this motherf***ing urge. And then I went to the gym and literally beat every single personal lifting record I have. The energy was incredible. I got into my car to drive home and I spent a good two minutes just screaming with joy "Woo! Holy F**k! That was awesome!" and blasting the theme from Casino Royale like I was motherf***ing Daniel Craig.

    The night is darkest before the dawn! You can win! The wristband reminded me of this. But in the end I have to remember it was me who defeated the urge. It was me who kept my promise to think about the wristband. Me who made the commitment. And wristband or not this f***ing addiction is going down. After tonight, I know I'm unstoppable.

    Bonus: Video demonstrating my precise feelings after beating the urge, then destroying it at the gym today:

     
    f1rew1re likes this.
  3. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Hello again,
    One more reset, this time i didn't think twice, gave in without a fight.
    Very happy to see that you are in the "light" zone dear friend @asfixiated .

    It is not a truth i like to be confronted with, the uncertainty of whether i will really really get over this addiction.
    Its the momentum more than anything that matters to me, i need to get into the 7+ day zone, gets easier for me there onwards.

    I am going to be quite honest and tell you guys what triggers the re-relapses for me.

    For someone who's watching their weight, a second piece of cheese, although brings in a bout of guilt, is consumable as you have already had one piece.

    I think its something similar, but with porn, you have had your favoritisms ( FAKE & TRAPPED ), & now that you have had a re-lapse you wish to see a bit of this & a bit of that.

    I did struggle over the past 2-3 days and i am mighty disappointed of washing away all the hard work.

    Its a shame that inspite of realising all the serious health & psychological problems, i am wasting my energy over this.

    Need to find a serious hatred to the kind of rubbish i find exciting today ( Genre`s or the actresses )

    I am considering using my computer far less and strictly use my iPad for watching documentaries around the family.

    Its difficult but has been done before.

    All the best to the rest of you.

    Good to hear once again from you @Pratyush , belated birthday wishes. Have a healthy year ahead.

    Cheers.
     
  4. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Watching this, have much respect for this guy.

    Do recommend you guys see it.

     
  5. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Did what i shouldn't have done. I will not continue to feel sorry for myself anymore.
    This is a start of a new attempt and not a streak, i am all for healthy sexuality.
    I will fall in love with a girl who loves and values me.

    Going out for a run, i will not let porn ruin my weekends or my education, my spirit, my connections.
    I was made to contribute to the society and make a difference and not jerk to a fucking monitor looking at an unreal fantasy.

    Each time i fall, i will rise up. If i can quite smokes, i will quit this. The enemy is worse and is well disguised as "freedom of expression".

    I will beat this. I did a few relapses over the past 2 days after a good 50 days. I am a little low on self-respect at the moment.

    All i need is a 3-5 day streak, i already do carry the confidence on me.
    Going for a run, cheers.
     
  6. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey @f1rew1re ! You don't "need" a 3-5 day streak - careful with that thinking! You just need to make it through today :D!

    You have plenty to be confident about - you made it to 50 days! You can make it again!
     
  7. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Agreed. What i was implying there was that once i am off on a streak, i find it easier to not re-lapse.
     
    asfixiated likes this.
  8. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey all! Checking in for the day. All good so far - another successful weekend! I can't believe I've made it this far :)
     
  9. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Glad to hear that mate.

    I have been quite busy myself, have had a successful two days and feeling quite good about myself.
    Work is quite a task and have an exam coming up this saturday, gotta start preparing for this.

    Will have dinner, take a walk and spend an hour with the books.
    All the best!
     
    asfixiated likes this.
  10. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!

    So sad news... I just relapsed. Full on PMO.

    However, I recognize that this is only a speedbump! I know what I was doing incorrectly, and I'll know how to avoid this in the future. Shame about my bracelet though :(... But they came in packs of 2! I'll be damned if that's not a positive sign :D!

    This time will be a success. But more importantly, these past 10 days have been a tremendous success. And I mustn't lose sight of that, no matter how much my brain wants me to believe otherwise.

    In truth, I don't feel awful now. Importantly, I'm not going to binge - just recommit and keep trying! I've hit a new record, and that's huge progress. Learn from it, and move on!

    Stay strong guys - it may only be a speedbump, but it still wasn't worth it! I really appreciate how supportive you've been on this thread and in this forum.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Kratos95

    Kratos95 Fapstronaut

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    @f1rew1re and @asfixiated sounds like you guys have been having a rough week! Sorry to hear about that. Try and not think think about it. Occupy your mind with positive thoughts and emotions. I have officially hit a week and I don't even think about it anymore, knock on wood. Its great to check up on the forums but it also helps to just relax and take a few days off or even a week! No need to check in so frequently. That is what really helps my fight my urges. Sounds weird I know but what ever works!;) I know you guys will hit your stride again in no time.

    I'll try and check in again by next week, I have been terribly busy with school I haven't even had time to think about relapsing.:)

    God bless you guys, I'll pray that you guys walk down the correct path and make good healthy decisions in the future. Cheers.
     
  12. Brandon2001

    Brandon2001 Fapstronaut

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    16m here....i can be an AP if you need one. Facebook or email are best for me.
     
  13. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    @asfixiated I don't doubt it mate. It is but just a bump. I have been back to doing what i do best, be busy and involved in everyday life.

    Its good to always come back and read all of your stories, quite enjoy the little chemistry we all seem to have built up here.

    @Kratos95 I do get what you`re saying and i do agree :) Very happy to see you in the flow with all the positive energy around mate :D

    I have been having busy days at work and otherwise, will try checking in once again tomorrow.

    All the best everyone! :)
     
  14. Kratos95

    Kratos95 Fapstronaut

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    Couldn't help but to post! Doing great and feeling great! This is by far the longest I have ever gone and I feel almost dare I say, invincible? Time has been flying by, I can't believe its already been 10 days, I feel incredible. I have been flat lining ever since I last relapsed and I have to say that was the saving grace of helping me get past the one week mark. Hope you guys are doing just as well!

    On another note, I have not really noticed any subtle changes in my life. I guess its different for everybody and its only been 10 days. I have changed the one thing I did want to stop doing and that was masturbating and I couldn't be happier. Are women noticing me more? Am I noticing women more? I can't say for sure haha.

    Cheers!
     
    f1rew1re likes this.
  15. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Good to hear that mate. I have been mighty busy at work myself, been all sorts productive at work and academics.

    I successfully passed my Semester 1 at my diploma program, YAYYYYY! I have no doubt whatsoever ever that quitting porn has helped me take a break and reorganise my priorities and focus on matters of greater importance. I could not have passed my semesters or completed the assignments without wasting time on the internet, porn being a huge contributor to late night surfing.

    Today marks the beginning of semester 2 and i am hopeful to close it on a good note.

    All the very best to every one else.

    Happy weekends with the family!

    Cheers.
     
  16. Kratos95

    Kratos95 Fapstronaut

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    I did relapse a couple of times over the weekend, Saturday and Sunday. Yes the weekend indeed, "got the best of me." I didn't want to tell you guys at first but thought I mine as well chime in. At first I was super pissed off at myself, punching walls ect but tried to make the best of it. @f1rew1re it looks like we both made questionable decisions over the Halloween weekend. Do they celebrate Halloween where your from?

    Anyways, I'm going for nofap November. Best of luck to you guys.

    PS: I officially started going to the gym again yesterday!!! I believe this will help tremendously with my progress but I also believe I wont slip up again regardless. My guard is up!!!
    Look forward to hear how you guys are progressing and dealing with your setbacks. Nothing in life worth doing is easy. God bless.
     
  17. ayush

    ayush Fapstronaut

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    Hello brother i want an accountability partner my no is +917895964793 text me on watsapp
     
  18. asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys!

    So I checked out for a long time, and had a really bad week :(. But the most important thing is that I'm back, and I'm going to try again.

    This week I got drunk and got rejected by this cute girl that I've been meaning to ask out for ages. And honestly, I'm not doing too bad. I mean my brain floats to negative thoughts about the rejection occasionally, but my life's not in tatters or anything. It's even encouraged me to pick up NoFap again - not in a bid to win her over, but because I realized that my confidence had gotten so low that I had to resort to alcohol as a crutch, and I really don't like that.

    I've signed up for the upcoming NoFap War on the subreddit, and I've made my first commitment to get to November 11th (the start of the War) without relapsing.

    On a side note, I'm putting aside the booze for the upcoming war as well. I don't drink much anyway, normally - only like once a month when I'm trying to work up my confidence around women. But that's the exact reason I'm going to stop - I don't like it being a crutch.

    Here I go again. Again. I'm going to do my best to make it happen this time!
     
  19. Kratos95

    Kratos95 Fapstronaut

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    I think its time I enlisted also, I have been relapsing like a bunny lately. I've been putting the fap in nofap November and that is not good! I am also going to try and remove alcohol from my diet for a little while. I have four beers left in the fridge and after a polish off these bad boys I am going to try and not indulge anymore. Working out and drinking do not really go hand in hand. Hope you guys are doing well. See you guys on the other side of recovery:)
     
  20. f1rew1re

    f1rew1re Fapstronaut

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    Hello Everyone,

    I had continuous relapses ever since my first relapse after the 45 day goal.

    I know how good i felt when i was conquering the addiction and didn't need an O induced by PM. All that will be rebuilt.

    I will spend more time on NoFap until i complete my goals, read your stories and what others post. I promise to also be fairly regular with my posts, i feel this helps me be accountable and more in touch with the recovery process.

    I am signing up for the NoFap War as well. Lets get a bit more noise on the forum, shall we?

    All the best guys.
     

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