Want to be on the track again

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by cud, Sep 18, 2017.

  1. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

    Hello guys,

    it´s been a while since I last post here.

    I have been considering the whole thing about NOFAP the last few months with strikes no longer than few days.

    My life situation has changed a bit so also habits changed but I realized that this is going somewhere I dont want to.

    After two years of having one night stands or just a girl for fun (and doing nofap pretty good) I found a girl that has been staying in my life longer than only few days. While having regular sexual life, it turned out that I am craving much more for more and more sexual "adventures" so I returned back to PMOing and kind of cannot help myself.

    I turned back to the spirals of bad moods and to be honest I dont believe that doing it for just highest number of days is the good way but PMO twice a month I found completely normal and healthy.

    I want to do it again (i mean NOFAP) cause I felt that time just perfectly. Good mood, I felt like icebreaker coming through all strugles in life with no fear, no fear to ask a girl out on the street (which I did to my current girl). Now with PMO in my life again I feel...you know...nothing special, sometimes these weird moods...checking porn videos, dreaming of the "ideal" girl...no drive in life, sometimes laziness hitting me very hard...you all know that.

    I was thinking what made me doing it very well few months ago, what was the main engine - and it was this forum, cause once I say it out loud that I have been goind it again to you guy, I am being honest and cannot cheat. I dont need to go for year without PMO or hunting some preferable numbers (cause it can be very stressful), but even after few days you can feel the diference. That drive, that glow in the eyes, thats what I like, the feel of beast inside, that is what i want to feel...

    Any sugestion from you are welcome ;)
  2. User047

    User047 Fapstronaut

    Well, here is little something I wrote in another thread:

    If you can do it once a month, you are fine.

    But...your brain likes all the chemicals that are released when you are masturbating and when you finish that deed. So it want's you do it again! And it keeps sending all those thoughts, physical and emotional sensations (what we call cravings).
    Sooner or later you will break your "once a month rule".
    Your brain likes repetition! That is how habits are formed. As you masturbate more and more, your brain is slowly working on forming a new brain circuits (very unhealthy one).
    At first, you have masturbated just because it was pleasurable and your brain liked all those chemicals. But, before you know it, that circuit in your brain has become a real MONSTER! It want's to be fed all the time! At this point, you no longer only crave masturbation because it feels good, you crave it because it has become a preferred action each time you are feeling slightly "uncomfortable". Angry, sad, bored, depressed, rejected...
    That's how it works. That's how people become addicted to alcohol, food, sex, drugs, nicotine, games, porn, internet, gambling....

    Your brain is very powerful!
    However, it doesn't have to dictate your behaviors. What is learned can be unlearned, but it takes time.
    If you can stick with the 90 Days of NoPMO, you will see that you can live without masturbation. Not only that, you will start to wonder why you even did it in the first place.
    Of course, from time to time, that monster in your brain will attack you with random thoughts, physical and emotional sensations. But the only difference now is that you have weakened it a lot and you have learned to deal with those "brain attacks" in a different way.

    But still...the monster will stay with you for the rest of your life. It doesn't need much to regain its power! All it takes is a little slip....
    That's why, this forum is full of people who have relapsed after being clean for 3+ months and now are struggling to go past first week.

    I hope this helps you a bit.

    I can write a lot about this subject. In fact I should probably write a guide.
    It takes a lot of time, but I should definitely do it because it will help me as well.

    Here is the thread if you are interested in reading other responses. If not, that's fine. I wish you luck on your journey :)
  3. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

    @cud My advice to you is to forget about long streaks. Sure, you can produce a long streak with an incredible amount of willpower, but if you just go back to regular PMO at the end of a long streak, you'll just end up back where you started from.

    I think what we need to do is replace PMO with positive habits. Things that make us stronger and make us feel better in the long term. Think exercise, reading, meditation or whatever works for you. I believe that there is far too much emphasis on long streaks in the PMO community, and not enough on ways we can build a better life without PMO. Strong habits will not only keep you away from PMO for longer (by making you think about other things), they will also help you to get back on track after a future relapse.

    Seriously, take some time and write down some things you can do every day that will keep you away from PMO. They don't have to be earth-shattering, but it's a start. Then start doing those things every day until they become habits.
    Philipp2506 and User047 like this.
  4. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

    Well I went a year ago for more 250days, and i felt great. Then It grabbed me again into its spares - so thats why I am returnig here to share it and to find some support, yes your post helped ;) - i am checking out the other one you send :)
    User047 likes this.
  5. Philipp2506

    Philipp2506 Fapstronaut

    Exactly what my first impression was when I looked through the forums. How does it help the people (including me) when everyone wants a long streak? I don't wanna have a streak without a learning effect.
    Porn Free Wanderer likes this.
  6. User047

    User047 Fapstronaut

    First thing first.
    Abstain long enough for your brain to rewire itself. That is the main goal here. And that is fine if you are having porn induced ED. Most people just want their dicks to work like they are supposed to.

    Now, with this energy and motivation boost you get when you are abstaining from orgasm, it would be a waste to just sit idle and wait for 3 months.
    You can and you should add many healthy habits to your life and use this excess energy to develop your body and mind.
    Porn Free Wanderer likes this.
  7. cud

    cud Fapstronaut

    The true is somewhere in the middle, right?

    Sounds pretty logical. When you are obstaining you are recovering - meanwhile you do things you love (guitar and sport in my case).
    User047 likes this.

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