Want to go porn free? Read this.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Resolved Oregonian, Mar 22, 2017.

  1. Resolved Oregonian

    Resolved Oregonian Fapstronaut

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    What up soldiers?! Stoked to be here fighting with you! This is a few highlights about my porn free journey, how I created success, how to maintain it, and arriving at day 50 (today) p/m free.

    And so, I will start off by saying that I am a 34 y.o. male who has struggled unsuccessfully with porn and unhealthy sexuality for most of my life. I tried books, online sex addict programs, professional counseling, church ministry and programs, group prayer, personal prayer, accountability groups, acct. partners, etc.

    I just could not seem to get free, regardless of what I tried. It was a very defeating feeling, and so often times I would start a new cycle of binge/purge/ repeat/ add insanity. I would strive for abstinence, but would inevitably choose to look at porn again.

    So what is different this time around? Well, a number of important and necessary measures. I am new to the NoFap community, and just recently underwent my first p/m challenge. My goal was 30 days, then 40, 50, and now 60. One of the notable salient points to mention about my success is that I have remained plugged into the NoFap community. I post regular blogs, and speak daily with people via p/m and connect with accountability for my progress. Community and relying on the help of others is key, because we cannot overcome addiction alone. If you are not willing to engage in frequent and measurable accountability, forget working to go porn free, because you won't.

    Another pivotal component I was missing is "effort". I had not been willing to "do what it takes" to live a porn free life. I was lacking in effort. And you cannot go porn free with a 60% commitment. As such, I invest daily time
    ( reading, writing, meditation, speaking affirmation) into myself, so that I can grow in character, and become the type of person that does not look at porn.

    Also, I have a strong recovery plan, and without an intentionally written out and practiced plan, you will not go porn free. Not for long term. I have 8 different components of my plan:

    1. A start date

    2.) why statement - The motivation for why you are choosing to go porn free.

    3.) Awareness- my vulnerabilities/temptations.

    4.) Consequences- self-induced punishment if I relapse.

    5.) Milestones- Measured day benchmarks 30/60/90 days.

    6.) active commitments- setting and achieving goals.

    7.) Self-Care- activities that invest healthily in yourself. Errrryday I practice The Miracle Morning.

    http://www.miraclemorning.com/start-here/

    8.) Community- regular and meaningful connection with people who share our struggle.

    Here is a hella dope podcast that talks step by step about how to create your recovery plan!! It's a well thought out, written down, and updated when needed plan.

    https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast...-pornography/id872329779?mt=2&i=1000378597618
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2017
    ronkumar, vxlccm, Florian83 and 32 others like this.
  2. Disciplefive

    Disciplefive Fapstronaut

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    Awesome post dude. Thank you!
     
  3. Thank you for writing this! I should write a recovery plan for myself too!
     
  4. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    awesome man
     
  5. Sanny J

    Sanny J New Fapstronaut

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    A wise man said failing to plan is planning to fail, I like the strong game plan you have outlined and could be used by any of us. Thank you for the game plan! In my journey of transformation, reading books (biography, philosophy, motivational..) proved to be an exciting new hobby and also revealed that, in the end, we are all immensely weak in a certain area and extremely strong in another. Finding out those spots and putting on extra effort on the ones we are good at makes our progress faster. Keep up the great job, and share with us your discoveries about yourself. Thank you for inspiring!
     
  6. Yunus111

    Yunus111 Fapstronaut

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    I certainly agree with you Resolved Oregonian and i recognize myself in what you are saying. For too long I have been struggling by myself with my porn addiction. To many times my motivation has let me down. When I am going through "problems" in my life I feel that it doesn't matter if I relapse or not. I also need to work with accountability partnets just like you to get more serious about this. I hope everything works out for you with your recovery plan.
     
  7. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Lovely .
     
  8. Thanks for that. I'm around the same age as you and I can relate to your 'binge/purge/repeat' (I'm there right now).
    I saved your 8 components to the journal in my NF Companion app.
     
  9. Den24

    Den24 Fapstronaut

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    Great job, man! Keep the strick up. Steady pace with reaching small goals and milestones is way more encouraging than the huge goal that you can't realize how to achieve. Wish you all the best! Reach the 90-days mark and remember that the reboot itself never finishes.
     
  10. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing this with us! It seems every step where we fumble adds some more strength and tools for the next time around.

    I particularly like your bit about commitment to become someone that doesn't [need] P in their life. That's something that's vaguely mentionned in many Fapstronauts' reports in many tortured ways, but we always seem to try and want to remove P from our lives without changing anything else (from fear of rejection or change, mostly), without realizing P has taken roots in our lives for reasons and removing it can't go without filling these blanks, scraping other stuff in the process, and adding what we want for the future "us" to be.

    Keep it up!
     
  11. Den24

    Den24 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, @TheFutureMe !
    Just wanted to let you know that you have realized a remarkable idea in your signature which is in your first line - "One day at time". This shows how important it is to keep track of milestones reached. One by one, slowly but steadily we are going through all of them. And your visualization helps to always remember where we are at the moment, and what is our next small goal.
    Borrowing that from you! Thanks again!
     
  12. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    /SlightlyOfftopic.
    Thanks for noticing, and very glad it can be borrowed and used again! The visualization setup is mine indeed, though it's only really a presentation of my own milestones, which allows for me to have separate goals/challenges running at any given time ;) As opposed to a counter, it sort of shows the way we've covered already rather than just stating where we're at.

    "One day at a time" comes from the movie "Thanks for sharing" with Mark Ruffalo, which I encourage everybody in NoFap to watch. Careful with this movie though, it contains a fuckton of explicit material and was sort of hard to watch at times, remember it hasn't been made for us, recovering addicts, it has been made for people who have no idea we suffer from that and so it's arranged "to their taste". Yet it's interesting, and if you guys are anything like me you'll learn a thing or two about recovery and its traps ;)

    As for the sentence he uses : His character is a recovering addict that says these words as a support/conjuring tool against potential triggers, while counting with one finger for each word of the sentence, for support against all that could lead him to relapse. The following link shows what I mean by counting on his fingers while mumbling the sentence while under siege with potential triggers. I've started using it myself during my previous reboot, then decided I needed more than just a tool to fix my ways ;)
    (Thanks for Sharing Trailer (0:48) go to 0:48 if you can go through the barrage of nudity)

    All the best and sorry for the offtopic from OP's success post. :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2017
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  13. Den24

    Den24 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, you have such a profound story behind this seemingly simple but wise phrase! Noticing valuable stuff around ourselves and using it to our own benefit is a great feature of a comprehensive mind. Your progress is the best example of this.
    Thanks for sharing! :emoji_grin:
     
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  14. obi-wan

    obi-wan Guest

    Well done mate. Thank you for sharing. Your recovery plan is a great idea. I have modified a little and created one for myself. I am day 2 of 100 days PM free! Can not wait to be in your position :)
     
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  15. Resolved Oregonian

    Resolved Oregonian Fapstronaut

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    @obi-wan , keep up the good fight! Stick to your plan, and you will do this!! How is your process going?
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2017
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  16. Mennoboy

    Mennoboy New Fapstronaut

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    Hello Resolved Oregonian - thanks for the tips! Great advice.
     
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  17. obi-wan

    obi-wan Guest

    My process is working so far :) on day 3 today. Got my plan set out on my profile, started a journal post and looking for an AP. Every time I get an urge I have been dropping to the ground and doing as many push ups as possible. Also blocked all of my devices from accessing porn with a whole number of methods.

    Decided what you will do now you are well over 50 days?
     
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  18. Resolved Oregonian

    Resolved Oregonian Fapstronaut

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    Sounds great! Looks like you are on the right path.
    I am on day 79 today, woot!! So, I still have my 8 step recovery plan in place, and I still spend time on NoFap and listening to the "porn free radio" podcast. But honestly, I am spending little time focusing on studies related to porn and abstinence, compared to the time I am spending studying the habits needed to become a better person. Every single day I dpend time developing my character as the first thing I do when I get out of bed. 90 minutes worth: Reading, writing, meditation, visualization, affirmation, thanksgiving, and exercise. I do not do this do that I can live a porn free life. That is not my focus. I do this so that I can live a successful life, and when I focus on that, abstinence from porn becomes just one of the benefits.

    http://www.miraclemorning.com/
     
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  19. obi-wan

    obi-wan Guest

    Thank you for sharing mate. You have inspired me to explore what I desire from life in a more concrete way. I desire to change many things and my purpose is to give back to others and be authentic. To be that person, there is no room in my life for addictions and mal-adaptive coping strategies. I only want to include things in my life that ADD value not take it away.

    I went and looked at miracle morning and downloaded their free resources. I have written out my Personal Affirmations and goals and made up a version of the 30 - day transformation tracker. I will keep you posted how I go. I really apreciate what you are doing for your self and others. I agree abstinence from porn is a small part of the equation.
     
  20. Resolved Oregonian

    Resolved Oregonian Fapstronaut

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    Good job @obi-wan !!! Sounds like you are hungry and willing to do what it takes to push forward! Putting "boots to the ground" is pivotal for moving forward, and it sounds like that is what you are doing. Keep it up! And I will be thrilled to hear more of your progress!
     
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