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Was so close to relapsing, but succeeded

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NightReaper775, Dec 16, 2017.

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  1. Dec 16, 2017 #1
    NightReaper775

    NightReaper775 Fapstronaut

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    There I was, with a Google search for porn in progress, standing there in my room, home alone: all conditions for relapsing were met. However, I thought for a minute about what I was doing. "This is insanity", "this won't help me at all", and then it struck me that I had not made any progress whatsoever since I fell off long streaks. I stopped eating more (I am a thin guy and I want to weigh more), stopped reading, studying, going out, writing, learning a language or anything for the matter. I was overwhelmed by this realization, I became depressed, my life was full of anxiety and I didn't even notice!

    I recorded myself, just to vent off. For 11 minutes I talked about myself and what was happening. "Porn addiction is th worst", "I am so anxious all the time", etc, etc. I know negativity might not be the best option, but I have to be able to motivate myself to grow again in some way. I watched the video afterwards, and I saw the face of an addict, of a lost guy who just does PMO to numb himself. I could not believe it, I was shocked, I wasn't like this, how did I end up here? Whatever the reasons, I gained discipline, now I have to keep building my life and becoming the man I want to be.

    Have you had any realization like this? How was it?
     
    NightReaper775, Dec 16, 2017
    NightReaper775, Dec 16, 2017
    #1
    CTRL + DEL likes this.
  2. Dec 16, 2017 #2
    James_007

    James_007 Fapstronaut

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    Yes bro....i am in second week and i was damm hard in morning. Somehow managed to pass through it. Infact i have done it in last week where i have the impact of pmo on my life and all my symptoms match with urs. Although i know the dark world of anxiety depression porn brings...still i feel i am sitting on a volcano which can erupt anytime !!

    I am feeling like to exercise or to do breathing...i dont know if these are withdrawal symptoms
     
    James_007, Dec 16, 2017
    James_007, Dec 16, 2017
    #2
    NightReaper775 and CTRL + DEL like this.
  3. Dec 16, 2017 #3
    CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    Excellent mindset! Go far with it!
     
    CTRL + DEL, Dec 16, 2017
    CTRL + DEL, Dec 16, 2017
    #3
    NightReaper775 likes this.
  4. Dec 16, 2017 #4
    NightReaper775

    NightReaper775 Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean? You feel like you had exercised or that you want to exercise? Whatever the option, I think breathing is key, and practicing meditation.
     
    NightReaper775, Dec 16, 2017
    NightReaper775, Dec 16, 2017
    #4
  5. Dec 16, 2017 #5
    arminhul

    arminhul Fapstronaut

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    You are also keeping from games, youtube, fb and more. I maybe be wrong but I feel you are trying to do to many things, control too many urges at the same time. Fact is for the both of us it is going to become harder as more days go buy.

    Willpower is right now very limited. Use is carefully, judiciously. Brute force is not going to work. You have to tackle this thing shrewdly. Lull, fool our brains. Too much discipline and you-know-what will happen. Give your brain something else to keep it calm. Build a habit. Very tiny changes so that you do them. For example mediate for just 1-2 minutes. So that it does not feel like a chore.

    Realization will come and go. I have lost count of the number of times I have felt like....this is it....I am done with this crap....today I change my life....but in a few days I didn't feel like continuing.

    Reduce the burden on your willpower, finding some pleasurable activity(not O related) to spend time. And of course research research research....read other people success stories that helps to motivate to continue.

    Just my 2 bits. This is what I am doing so that I can keep doing it everyday.

    All the best brother.
     
    arminhul, Dec 16, 2017
    arminhul, Dec 16, 2017
    #5
  6. Dec 16, 2017 #6
    Flimsyfryingpan

    Flimsyfryingpan Fapstronaut

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    I agree its alot to have to take on all at once. I myself took the huge risk of quitting PMO soon after I quit vaping and that in itself is crazy in alot of peoples eyes. You don't want overwelm yourself cause if you relapse you will fall petty hard. Take it easy if you can man, but if that the way you want to roll and you succeed hats off to you.
    One minute, one hour, one day at a time.
     
    Flimsyfryingpan, Dec 16, 2017
    Flimsyfryingpan, Dec 16, 2017
    #6
    arminhul likes this.

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