Was this a relapse?

What do you mean by “ their one minute of time unrestricted?”.

 

My husband would count that as a relapse, he counts anything that starts him even thinking on those terms as a relapse. So if he goes to twitter to see the news but starts getting a buzz from the thought of “ accidentally “ seeing something then he resets. Personally for me, I don’t count it but I’m not an addict so I really don’t understand the slipper slope. Most of the guys in his group wouldn’t count it. So it’s really up to you and your so.

 

That is a PSub. plain and simple

 

Does he count PSubs as a relapse? Some here do, some here don't (I don't). But whether it was a relapse or not it was clearly a stupid thing to do: looking at sex scenes in mainstream movies will draw him back towards porn. He should avoid that.

 

I would not consider that as relapse,but he should avoid that.I think he didn't get crazy dopamine rush=Not a relapse.
It is his decision,but he should avoid all types of sexual stimulation and all triggers.

 

It counts as a relapse for my husband. If you haven't already, you and your bf need to sit down and define your expectations.

 

Some people would consider that more of a “reset” than a relapse. A relapse would be returning to old ways, and exhibiting the problematic addiction behaviors that he used to. If he intentionally looked up a sex scene in a movie, but it didn’t lead him back to PMO, I personally would consider it a reset.

 

My husband doesn't split hairs because he feels like the mindset leads back to the same thing. I realize some people do separate the two and I totally understand the reasoning behind it. He does not separate them. It's a personal thing for everyone so it's good the difference was brought up.

 

Mine either. He looks at even the first step towards relapse ie if he goes on twitter to read the “news” but then starts thinking about it. As soon as he feels the “ excitement “ of what if. He resets his sobriety date. His mindset is any movement towards using is a problem. Honestly, when they are getting clean for themselves and not for someone else, I think they are far more strict about their own behaviors.

 

^ this. I would not bother getting hung up on the semantics. If he agrees that it was a dumb thing to do, then you are on the same page. I don't think arguing about whether or not it counts as a "relapse" is helpful.