I was completely drunk the other night. Had been drinking at the bar for hours. Hammered out of my mind. Complete fool. Anyway. I have prescription muscle relaxers that you are not to take while drinking... Right before hitting the bed... I took one. But why? I wasn't in pain. I didn't need one... Why did I take it? Did I think maybe with that much booze and only one pill it would've shut my breathing off? What if I decided to take 10..? Or the whole bottle? I did this with a Xanax once not long ago.. Sometimes I think I have a death wish. That I've read every page of the book and I want to read the last one. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm exceedingly depressed and tired.. I don't want to hit rock bottom.