Wasted my 20's for reasons I don't understand

Previously I dated some girls but didn't end up with sex because I feel there are two reasons 1. I am nice which give a signal of needy most of the time. 2. One of the drawback of PMO that your relations are sucked and you consider man/women an object, Believe me Women are so sharp in judging the person they can read your mind so easily we can't even notice. So I feel that this porn addiction is playing a major role in all this.
I am reading different articles and books to improve my social skills. Now a days I am reading two new books.
1. how to win friends and influence people.
2. The flinch.
If you have time read these, It will help you in some way.
Good luck.

 

Being in shape is inconsequential when you are pmoing all the time because you don't get the benefits of said physique cause your self esteem is low and looks fade I realized this now because I always have been in good shape and been told I'm attractive and I realized that porn is the disconnect and was putting unnecessary shame and guilt on myself now I'm a lot more confident and realize I'm more than my looks and I want to seek someone who has substance as well as being physically attractive

 

Its debatable, but wouldn't want that floating jetsam to burst into a full on Balsac. Might end up with a souvlaki on the pleasure boulevard.

 

If porn addiction is a problem for you and you are defining “wasting” your 20s as focused on the female and the other, I would really recommend looking at how you’ve learned to interact with women throughout your life and what they mean to you.

 

I think she noticed you only wanted to get laid. Women in general dislike this. They want marriage and long lasting relationships.

 

Hi there, feel free to ignore my message if it doesn't resonate with you.
From reading what you've written, one thing stands out to me- 'I let her break my heart early'.

It sounds as if your familiar with perhaps disappointment, disrespect or maybe abandonment.

It also sounds that you are aware of your own expectation for this behaviour, particularly from women.

Also, it then sounds as if you have recognized pattern. A repeat of the same behavior.

To me personally, whenever there is pain, an expectation for pain and a repeat of the same cycles to produce this pain, there is a direct link to your parents or to a traumatic experience.

It sounds that perhaps you feel anger, frustration and for justified reasons, unforgiveness also. It also sounds that you have behaviour that adds to this cycle for it to exist and persit in your life.

I would look into any similarities from these relationships to any family members, work through the feelings that come up and work to forgiveness. I would also look at any areas where you may act out a victim, purely so others cannot act as rescuers or persecutors to you (which position the victim to remain a victim) -and vice versa.

When you ask what more you can do- i would say believe in yourself. A girl would be lucky to date someone who hasn't treated girls like a piece of meat. You are a rarity many girls would treasure to have.

Best of luck x

 

You say you’re in great shape, worldly, successful, etc.
You also say that you wasted your twenties because you only fucked one woman.
You spent your twenties and your entire life becoming who you are today. Maybe you aren’t there yet. Keep making a better man. Just like you’ve been doing.

 

I personally knew a friend who began dating a lot and sleeping a lot with women, all good stuff except he changed. He began treating his female friends kind of with less respect. My point is, it's good to have sex, but it's also good to honor, you don't seem to have lost the ability to see the heart.
That is the one thing women cherish, date more because there will be someone who really needs a man like you.

 

stop focusing on pussy, no wonder why your life is dogshit mate

 

Dude that was not helpful

 

It's not gender-exclusive, this ability to read body language/intuit word meanings. Give me a break.

 

Lef88 may be onto something. You mention also that after you let a woman break your heart, your remedy is to get into great physical shape. Is this to be kind of an "I'll show YOU" thing, or an "I'll show ME" thing? Is it both? What I mean is, do you have both issues with self-esteem and issues with other-esteem? Notice I didn't say "self/other-esteem issues." Pathologizing one's self is no good. I prefer to imagine we're all born with germinated seeds of virtue within, and that none of us are void of virtue. Maybe we've just been in want of the "water" to make them grow. I know I've been in a 33 year drought

 

Hey man thats really terrible she would do that to you, my best advice, look for that best friend. Develop a really strong friendship and then see where it leads you. Either a really strong lasting friendship, or a longterm partner. Don't rush it, take it slow and hope for the best, she needs to be on board just as much as you are, and chances are, the girl thats into you is closer than you think. Sorry to sound like some stupid fortune cookie, but its true!
best of luck to you!

 

4 dates and nothing happened? Maybe she thought you weren't into it or something. I mean, I'm far from any expert, but in 4 dates she's probably expecting something to happen. Isn't it a rule that the 3rd dates equals sex? Anyway, just try to forget about her and keep looking.

 

hey brother I may not be in any position to relate to you and give you advice correspondingly but I've actually done some research regarding what actually makes a girl interested in hanging out with you and thus progressively lead to a relationship. (don't judge ok, it's kinda my nature to like to research things to make sure I'm not doing things wrong) So apparently most of those articles have a lot of things in common and I'm sure most of them should be known by most men.

We all know the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", so of course most advice regarding how you should look stylish and handsome is just absolute bullshit. And this sometimes can even be referred to one's physique! Being strong and all does give you an edge over other men, but it's not the most important thing that attracts women. So first off I want to emphasize just seriously how important it is to not look for sex when looking for women. Most women can sense it when a man is just hanging out with her just to get in her pants, and most will seriously be offended and turn off by that unless of course you're talking about a slut. And regarding those who get more sex when having the mindset of "women are just for my pleasure", those people will never get a long-lasting relationship. All their relationships are just for each other's pleasure, never one when they could connect not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. And I'm glad you want no part of that.

So bear in mind that when you're looking for a new partner, don't look for sex, look for real company and friendship. Well of course this is easier said than done. And no offense m8, you can claim all you want that sex is not primary to you in a relationship, but as long as you keep PMOing, you will almost always view sex as primary even if you don't sense it. Trust me, this is from my personal experience. Only after having a 100+days streak twice was I actually able to see that. And now that I've relapsed not long ago, it's getting really hard for me to place sex as secondary in a relationship. Porn affects us in ways we could never fathom, and when we finally feel and understand its consequences, by then it'll already be really difficult to curb the effects.

And another very important point to take note is having confidence. I'm sure you know this, but having what kind of confidence is another matter. There is confidence in your body, which I assume you have a lot of. There is also confidence in communicating and confidence in appearance. What I think is the most important are confidence in communicating and not giving a shit about what other thinks about you. The confidence in communicating is an obvious one. For the other, not constantly worrying about your public image is really important as well. Since this helps you cope with approaching women, handling rejections and even be a funnier person. A lot of times people struggle with trying to have a "sense of humour", but instead the thing that is holding them back from being funny is how they constantly restrict themselves from expressing what they think and how they feel since they are afraid that anything they say will ruin their public image. Women like men who freely express themselves, but of course there are obviously some things you shouldn't say, like insulting someone or hurting them.

I hope you find your way and find someone who deserves you. Good luck!