Wasting my life with video games

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Saiba Sakaki, Jul 28, 2021.

  1. Saiba Sakaki

    Saiba Sakaki Fapstronaut

    Hi. So, i somehow finally can handle my sexual urge to watch porn. But here another problem, i'm wasting my most time with videogames. I know it is bad, but playing games now help me to control this sexual urge. Please help me, i don't want to wasting my life with only playing games
  2. Foxhole

    Foxhole Fapstronaut

    You lazy piece of shit. Get your ass up and do something useful. ;);)
    Sorry I am just joking.
    I have similar issue with phone games. I have just 2 recommendations:

    1) Get rid of it. If you use a console, sell it, throw it away or give it to a friend to keep it for you (this way you can still occasionally enjoy a game - with someone you like and in controled way). Or uninstall the games, cancel your account - whatever it takes to make it as hard as possible for you to play. It happened to me many times that I installed a game that seems just super funny and after 10 minutes of playing it, I told myself - it really is a fun, but do I want to spend my time like this? And I unistalled it right away.

    2) Make a plan. It's really hard to get rid off anything if you don't have other stuff to do. Find a new hobby, challenge yourself, do some sport, start a business. Do whatever you find useful and/or entertaining. If you come home like "ugh I dont know what I am going to do, maybe chill a little", you'll end up playing games in no time.

    Hope this helps, good luck mate.
    Saiba Sakaki and gordie like this.
  3. gordie

    gordie Fapstronaut

    I have a method I kinda learned when I quit smoking. It means taking my bad habits one at a time. One will flair up, but I just let it do so. When I quit smoking, I allowed myself to play videogames every waking second of the quit, or I slid into workaholism, or I masturbated 4-5 times a day. Then, when the withdrawals and cravings were gone, I moved on to the next addiction.

    I've gotten a handle on bad drinking habits (I never was addicted and never wanted to "quit" to begin with), quit smoking entirely, quit watching porn entirely, and regularly spend my days how I want to spend them and not following some horrible addictive pattern. I also quit videogames but now I play occasionally and don't suffer it as an "addiction" or coping mechanism.

    In AA, they often tell drinkers not to also quit smoking at the beginning of their quit unless they truly feel its an imperative. Why? Because a cigarette addiction might alleviate the stress of getting out of an alcohol addiction. It's not the best method, but it seems to work, and it seems to work for me. Take things one at a time. If playing videogames all day is the better of two evils, do it until you know you're comfortable without porn, and then kick the videogames. Take it one step at a time.

    I promise I was in a somewhat similar web (I've never been crazily addicted to videogames but I've had similar issues) and it really is best to undo the knot one string at a time, at least for me.

    Ignore this if videogames are a new habit. Don't replace old addictions with new ones.
    Saiba Sakaki and Atticus like this.
  4. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I feel like I'm really lucky with this. I used to play videogames for hours and hours a day and sometimes still do, but honestly I just grew out of being obsessed. Most games now suck donkey balls through a straw anyway. A waste of time even if you do like games.

    My advice to you is find something that you enjoy more that games that is more worthwhile to boot. This may be hard but it's worth it. Exercise, some other creative pursuit, reading, etc. For me it was writing. Something to invest your time into that leaves you feeling satisfied and fulfilled, not drained like games tend to.
    Reborn16, Saiba Sakaki and gordie like this.
  5. Atticus

    Atticus Fapstronaut

    I used to play video games a lot when I was younger. Because of ADHD, the instant feedback a video game gives is intoxicating. Losing hours in that feedback loop proved somewhat detrimental for about two years.

    I got through it by buying a watch, setting my alarm on it (30 minutes) and remembering why the fuck I had the alarm in the first place.

    From there, you limit your gaming time, without going cold turkey (going cold turkey isn't a bad thing, but it was harder for my dopamine reaction hyper brain).

    After the alarm rings, put the control down. Turn off the system and start whatever it is you need to do asap.
  6. If you started doing something new, something out in the word with other people, what would it be?
  7. Biggus Dickus

    Biggus Dickus Fapstronaut

    I can recommend you to listen to some Jordan Peterson over on YouTube. He helped me tremendously to get on the right path.
    I eventually replaced my gaming habit with a writing habit. This is not to say I have beaten the temptation forever, but I am 4 months into not missing out on a single day of writing now. Peterson was a huge influence in my process of shifting my mindset to allow me to change my habits.
  8. StayStrongforawhile

    StayStrongforawhile Fapstronaut


    I did have that similar experience.
    Trying to improve a small step at a time.
    From now, you might want to reduce your gaming time for example, 5 hours to 3 hours, then think about how to spend your 2 hours.
    Spending that 2 hours at the gym and helping others?

    I don't think excessive gaming is a bad thing for you in this stage. just do it one step at a time
    Saiba Sakaki likes this.
  9. Biggus Dickus

    Biggus Dickus Fapstronaut

    One more thing: What I think I learned about myself is that gaming has been my way of expressing my creativity since I was in my early teens. I would play only those types of games that allow for a lot of individual freedom, like choosing Skyrim over The Witcher, because Skyrim let's you make your own character.
    And I believe this is precisely the reason why I can all of a sudden manage to not play games without looking back. Because I am expressing that same creativity in writing.
    I am not suggesting that everyone that plays too many video games should write instead. Not everyone is creative and there can be many reasons for why you're playing games.
    What I am saying here is, maybe there's some deeper need that you're fullfilling when you play games. The others are right, you should fine something that can serve as a replacement. And it should ideally be something thst satisfies whatever needs you fullfill with gaming.
    Saiba Sakaki likes this.
  10. Saiba Sakaki

    Saiba Sakaki Fapstronaut

    Thanks. Yeah, maybe i same to you. I often play mobile phone for around 20-30 minute until i decide to delete it. But anyway, thanks for your tips
  11. Saiba Sakaki

    Saiba Sakaki Fapstronaut

    I only can think Study, read, or writing. I still student
  12. Think a while longer. What's one social activity you could join or otherwise start showing up to? My university had a campus recreation office with intramural sports and other activities. Get out there and get to know people.
    Rachelle likes this.
  13. why don't you want to waste your time playing video games?
    Atticus likes this.
  14. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

    once played a video game for 3 days straight, our all time record.
  15. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Off topic to this thread but you may find this thread https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...iter-i-want-to-be.268267/page-88#post-3078801 interesting.
    Biggus Dickus likes this.
  16. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    You can start very slowly if it's a big problem. E.g. If you play video games 5 hours a day, try to make it 4 hours a day. I'm serious! Small changes are better than zero changes.

    For more on that method, check out some of the videos floating around with Jordan Peterson on changing habits / improving your lifestyle.

    If you're willing to tackle it a bit more, you can try replacing your time on video games with something you value more. Let's say when it comes down to it, you wish you'd spend an afternoon reading a good book instead of playing a video game.

    Set a specific cue for this task. E.g. when I get home from work, I start reading my book. Once you're done reading, reward yourself. So each day you do this, you get a bit of fulfillment from taking a positive step, and a reward to reinforce it.

    I did something different again. Unplugged the console, packed it in the box, sticky taped it good, then put it high in the closet. The physical effort of putting it all back together and waiting for the inevitable PS update was enough for me to shrug it off and do something else... Anything else... lol

    Awesome stuff though. You've handled the main thing and this is your next mission!!
    Saiba Sakaki likes this.
  17. Like many people have already recommended, it's best if you do not remove gaming all together immediately, only gradually as to alleviate you from any abstinence symptoms. You can also use the addiction to your benefit as a reward for completing a task you set up for yourself.

    For example if you wish to start working out in the gym but find you have no motivation to do so, then remove games & consoles from your vicinity until you have accomplished the set task. Overtime you can gradually decrease and limit more the time you can have access to video games. If you play 6hrs/day then only do play once you have completed your task and then only limit your gaming time to 5h/day and over time in maybe 2-3 weeks after to 4h/day or 5h/every 2nd day etc.
    Spiritual Redemption likes this.
  18. Spiritual Redemption

    Spiritual Redemption Fapstronaut

    There's a lot of good advice on this page, so I'd recommend taking what you can, applying it, and see what works for you. Breaking down a big goal into smaller goals is really helpful. Instead of just saying "I'm going to quit video games," aim to cut down on the number of hours you play. The more you do this, the more discipline and momentum you'll build. If you're looking for a comfortable and pain free solution, you're not going to find one. It is difficult to discipline ourselves, but essential if we are to make any ground on our Nofap journey or affect any lasting change our lives. It is hard to start doing things that are good for us that we don't like doing, and cutting down on the things that we like. I find it is like a muscle, the more I work it, the stronger it gets. I find that the more disciplined I am in one area, the easier it is to take it into another. In this respect, I'd recommend cold showers, journaling, and meditation. You need to start replacing old habits and actions with new ones. This is the key. Otherwise you're always fighting an enemy you can't beat, simply by trying to will yourself not to do something. You need to shift your attention and awareness. I would recommend beginning to align your life with a new vision and healthy habits and disciplines. The reduction of harmful habits comes automatically, because you begin to see that they no longer serve you, and what you are trying to achieve/become. Good luck on your journey brother! You can do this

    “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” –Socrates

  19. Saiba Sakaki

    Saiba Sakaki Fapstronaut

    I want to get a normal life. And i know i will never get it if i just sit in my bedroom while playing video games all the time
  20. why do you want to get a normal life ? why is siting in your bedroom playing video games not going to get it ?

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