Wasting Your 20’s

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Drew15, May 20, 2019.

  1. Drew15

    Drew15 Fapstronaut

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    I’m about to be 28 in a couple months and I’m struggling with feelings that I’ve completely wasted my 20’s. In many areas, but especially in my sexuality. I’ve had sex twice in my life. Both times highly intoxicated, both times not good experiences. I now have a serious girlfriend. She’s younger, wants to wait until marriage, and I love her enough to wait as well. I’m choosing to believe it’ll be worth it. But I’m struggling with the thought I will probably enter my 30’s having had nothing but two terrible sexual experiences in my 20’s. I’m regretting so much. And will never get to experience young sex sober. Have any of you faced a similar struggle? How do you overcome and carry on?
     
    llortaton likes this.
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    What exactly is it that you think you're missing out on and why aren't you focusing on enjoying what you have now?
     
  3. Drew15

    Drew15 Fapstronaut

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    Living life instead of virtual reality is what I feel I missed out on. I spent a decade behind a screen and that lost time hurts a bit. As far as why I’m not focusing on what I have now. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t. The regret is holding me back at times. Not all the time. But occasionally like today. And I’m working towards letting that go completely.
     
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  4. Drew15

    Drew15 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you by the way. Your post hit home and helped me change my mindset. I have a lot to be thankful for today.
     
  5. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Okay, but does it specifically have to do with sexual experiences? You can have plenty of experiences (sexual or not) with your girlfriend in the future.

    Other than sex, you can start living the way you wish you would have right now.

    You wish you lived your 20s better, but you didn't. This is how it is now. You now have the experience of "wasting your 20s" and now you can be more appreciative and use the rest of your life better.

    You can either use that regret to further hinder your life or you can use the regret to be more passionate about your current life.
     
  6. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    You can consider yourself lucky.
     
    Freedom_from_PMO and Drew15 like this.
  7. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Some of your answers are in this statement.
    Never been a huge hit with the ladies myself (maybe wanking too much didn't help at all), but I would suggest not focusing on girls/hoping for love or sex, but your self-development.
    Very good to see the 'decade behind a screen' part because it means you are actively looking to improve.
     
    Drew15 likes this.
  8. Drew15

    Drew15 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, some of it is specific to sexual experiences. I regret the experiences I did have. I need to accept I can’t change the past and stay focused on the things I can control today. Overall I am happy with the way I am living my life now and the decisions I am making.
     
  9. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Man, wtf are you even complaining about? You seem to know the answer. If you wanna live your 20's dump your gf, go fuck some sluts, see how it goes. Don't go fuck some sluts and stay with ur gf and get married, see how it goes. Better make up your mid, you know your situation best, but if it's a solid GF, i'd stick to her... and generally refrain from fucking sluts.
     
  10. The truth, I LIKE IT
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  11. Sex after marriage is a red flag.
    What if you dont fit in her.
    What if you dont like her taste or smell.
    What if you are sexually incompatible.
    Is she a virgin? Are u sure? Or she had 100 more sexual encounters than you?
    Etc etc etc

    Rest of the issues have been already adressed.
     
    Rahab likes this.
  12. Boskiman

    Boskiman Fapstronaut

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    Or maybe she is just way too conservative, what is nice. For the doubts I would check out her social networks anyways.

    Anyways what you did yesterday, you did yesterday and if you continue only focusing on it you won't do anything as you can't fix or polish your past. Just accept it. Still I would ask you what is the need for promiscuity in the life of a man anyways; there are people who regret only banging sluts in their youth not using their time better for better things, limiting themselves to be hedonistic creatures in the seek of pleasure not searching for a better future.
     
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  13. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

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    For me it's actually what I'm looking for. Being Christian I have no other options. ;)
     
  14. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    It's good that you are respecting waiting for marriage, it will benefit in the future. 30 is just a number, you can have plenty of good sex in marriage. Instead of overthinking the past, enjoy the bright future you may have.
     
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  15. determinedtosucceed

    determinedtosucceed Fapstronaut

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    I am 30 yo virgin and I feel that I am not missing anything at all. Sex is way overrated( I think)
     
  16. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Sex is overrated, relationships are underrated.
     
  17. Drew15

    Drew15 Fapstronaut

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    Looking back at my OP this thread has made me feel like a whiny baby in the best way possible. Life is good, I’ll be just fine.
     
    llortaton likes this.
  18. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    You have a girlfriend who loves you and is willing to wait to get married to have sex. That doesn't sound like a waste, sounds like a dream. I would rather have that instead of having sex with a lot of women I am not even going to remember two weeks after.
     
  19. TrueSaiyan

    TrueSaiyan Fapstronaut

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    First off I'd love to have a girlfriend right now, also sex would be the furthest thing away from my mind. If I had one in real life that is. By the way don't regret them, learn from your past so you can make it right in the future, accept it and move on. I lost mine at a time when this woman had a little bit to drink, I had about one or two. We we're great friends and both felt the same. But it kind of ruined our friendship after. All this time I want to give her a real experience since it was in the back of my car. But she ignores me now and doesn't talk at all to me. I over came it and just moved on. Half of me wants to talk to her again, but there's no attraction anymore..

    Also. I'm in you're same shoes. I'm in my late 20's. Probably going to enter my 30's without a meaningful relationship. I envy you for having a relationship with a wonderful younger woman. That is most men's dreams on this site even, treasure it as long as you have and respect her for what she wants.
     
  20. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Could you message me?
    I want to know what you mean by "I spent a decade behind a screen."
     

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