Watch Porn After 16 Months Harmode

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Freeddom_Taker, Nov 29, 2019.

  1. CS1

    CS1 Fapstronaut

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    Nobody can help you except your self, 16 month huge achievement and you can't forget what have you done to stay clean long time ..
     
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  2. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Good luck friend! All things are possible.
     
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  3. I have to ask, after your relapse did the withdrawal symptoms fade away? Or remained present?
     
  4. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    I fucked up w/ full blown pmo again. Kept forgetting the boundaries on how to not fall back. smhhhh
     
  5. cartmandaz221

    cartmandaz221 Fapstronaut

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    do you really have the urge to watch P?
    I thought you were in a long deep flatline like me?
     
  6. SLeepisLost

    SLeepisLost Fapstronaut

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    No worries man. It's time to install some porn blockers. Use Cleanbrowser DNS server on your router. Pure Web porn filter on your android devices or the build in explicit content/website filter on Apple devices. Also make sure you turn familiy filter on for Youtube, block reddit, block instagram, block tumblr, block twitter (Who needs it anyway) Make a random password you can't remember and give it to someone you trust. You could also buy a lockable box to put your router in it (so you can't reset it) and give the key to the same person.

    Did your withdrawal symptoms died down after the relapses? Or all you still suffering from thrm 24/7?
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2020
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  7. red gyarados

    red gyarados Fapstronaut

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    Temptation can hit at any time. Don’t listen to that part of your brain that says one relapse won’t make a difference.
     
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  8. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    I have started doing better close to 18 months and got arrogant last night. I Watched a bunch of triggering music videos full of half naked bodies, then I went to one of the site and pmoed.
    However, I didn't have any urge or enjoyed it the way I used to. I couldn't sleep so I forced myself to watch a lot of scenes just to have a hit.
     
  9. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    The withdrawals are still in effect but to a lesser degree. What I notice from the 2 recent relapses(pmo), it seems the brain and the body are already on their course of healing so the effects of the relapses are less compare to a month ago. But it's not encouraging to go back to porn to mo.
     
  10. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up my friend. Freedom is possible. But to paraphrase Machiavelli " God will not do all alone." Frankly this means, whether are not we believe in a higher power, it is really up to us! Remain vigilant and don't compromise.
    Every time we show leniency, to temptation, we are tacitly agreeing to relapse. Please keep this in mind. Take care and good luck.
     
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  11. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    You're playing with fire man. I urge you to stop before it'll be too late. You're literally poking the sleeping dragon. Be very careful as you never know when it will wake up. I had similar experience back in April 2018 after breaking long abstention. I PMOed couple of times and nothing happened so I did it again a few days later and again next week… Somewhere "on this road" something clicked in my mind and I was out of control again, back to my autopilot daily PMO binge routine and I could not stop it. I needed 3 months to stop binging on daily basis and additional 5 months to reestablish abstinence. It's totally not worth it. Keep the beast asleep.
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2020
  12. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Hi Fenix,
    You are 100% right! Believe me I have found out the hard way. I self medicated my depression and anxiety with porn and masturbation. It only made matters much worse. It was yet another issue to feel toxic shame over!

    I once went 18 months without fapping. In fact I was on anti-depressants for the first year or so and never felt the need to view porn or MO. However when I give up the medication all my old demons returned. I starting edging after 3 months then I had a full relapse after 6 months. For the next 18 months , up till my current 43 days streak, I PMO'd nearly every day. Sometimes even 2 or three times.

    By this time I was clinically depressed. This was diagnosed by my GP. I was put on anti depressants again but kept fapping. My depression remained however. I was put on a higher dose, it was actually doubled, but at a terrible price. I now sleep, drowse really as I have sleep apnea, for up to 17 hours a day. In fact I have been too tired to resume my NoFap journal. Even with the medication I still want to view porn and masturbate. Which proves my addiction has grown stronger.

    Therefore we can never lower our guard. I need to at least lower my medication level. But I am afraid of my urges coming back even worse than before. I wish I never installed an internet connection in my home!

    Take care.
     
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  13. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I've also suffered from clinical depression and general/social anxiety my entire adult life. I visited psychiatrist at the age of 21 and was on SSRIs and anxiolytics quite some time. I abandoned anxiolytics by myself because I developed tolerance to them and didn't want to up the dosage as I knew it would have led me to dependency. SSRIs didn't help me either so doc suggested I abandon them after two years of tries and failures. What has helped me was reading Dr. Stephen Ilardi's book 6-Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs and gradually implementing this steps into my daily. His solution to the problem of addiction is basically change of lifestyle to cure depression. He said: "We were never designed for the sedentary, indoor, socially isolated, fast-food-laden, sleep-deprived, frenzied pace of modern life."

    Basic steps of this program are:

    1. Physical Activity (Exercise)
    2. Omega-3 Fatty Acids
    3. Sunlight
    4. Healthy Sleep
    5. Anti-Ruminative Activity
    6. Social Connection


    http://tlc.ku.edu/elements

    It requires constant hard work, but it has helped me to a degree where I can say, I'm not clinically depressed or anxious anymore. Take a look at the book, maybe it can help you too.

     
  14. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

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    Thanks pal. I'll do as you suggest.
     
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  15. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    Pmoed heavily Monday morning,now the symptoms such as tremors and head tingling sensation & pressure become a nightmare.
     
  16. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Sorry to hear this my friend.

    Don't give up! there is always hope and you know you can make it to a long streak, you just have to do it again. It can be tough when you go back into a relapse cycle, but no doubt you can make it out!
     
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  17. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    On scale 1 to 10, how's your reboot going?
     
  18. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    In terms of actual time that ive abstained its good, as i am almost at 6 months.

    I am still struggling with symptoms on and off which seem to have gotten a lot better this month. I am very hopeful that things will keep improving for me:)
     
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  19. Freeddom_Taker

    Freeddom_Taker Fapstronaut

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    Danm I thought you were 95% cured man.
    Are you able to function like go to work or study or play sports normally?
    These things I either struggle to do them or can't at all.
     
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  20. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    oh no way my friend, i am certainly not that close to recovery. I do go to work even though symptoms are still present and sometimes debilitating. I find a way to make it through and do my best to take care of myself where i can. I had a job interview this week and the anxiety for that job combined with my social anxiety was crippling, but i made it through.

    Things are getting better, just slowly. Ive always played sports so they have never been a problem for me unless im particularly fatigued that day.

    Just focus on being PMO free as your number 1 goal for now. Things will get better and i try to maintain a positive attitude wherever i can :)
     
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