Watched porn for the first time in 7 months

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Jnuts, Sep 9, 2020.

  1. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    It was not how I remembered it. My mind was conjuring up this cornucopia of whatever I wanted at the click of a mouse. It conveniently forgot about the hours of searching and not finding what I wanted.

    My wife and I were in bed and I wanted an orgasm, she did not. We decided to watch some porn together on her phone. She picked what it was. We skimmed through several videos. They were boring. I did end up with an orgasm but it was disappointing. I didn’t beat myself up after and I’m still not beating myself up now (was 2 days ago). I have no desire to watch any more and I’m actually glad I did it. It gave me a more realistic perspective of something I was idealizing.
     
  2. Interesting! Some people might call that a relapse or criticize you, but not me. It's a good feeling to have moved on!
     
  3. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    I would say that it is a relapse I guess. I’m going to update my counter when I’m napc and think about it. But I know from experience that beating yourself up over it just causes depression and repeated behaviour.

    Several more days under my belt and no desire the watch anything more.
     
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  4. Just one more fighter

    Just one more fighter New Fapstronaut

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    interesting. it's as if the addiction is very weakened
     
    Henryforward likes this.
  5. Potentially you realised how stupid porn viewing can be with your partner next to you.
     
  6. Exit To Freedom

    Exit To Freedom Fapstronaut

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    You have an open minded wife, that is a good thing overall. Mine is too - and has no problem with me watching porn. Unfortunately it's my problem and I have to remedy it for myself. You went a long way, and sounds like you are on track again. Congratulations for your streak and realization.
     
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  7. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    Actually most of my porn watching was with my wife next to me due to our insanely missmatched sex drives.
     
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  8. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you should consider that a relapse, as there is nothing to feel ashamed of and there is nothing to hide from your wife. I think it was some kind of "reality check" and you passed it with flying colours.

    I had a similar experience more than 5 months ago. That was my last relapse. I counted as a relapse because it was hidden from my wife and I wasn't sexually aroused at that moment, it was more a psychological need (I was feeling sad and anxious) than a physical need. My experience was the same, PMO didn't meet my expectations. Once you break the fantasy and see PMO as it really is (an empty act that doesn't fix anything), you have no need for that in your life.

    Keep doing great.
     
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  9. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    Still haven’t watched anything else but the desire to is back. That didn’t last long.
     
  10. Queek The HeadTakker

    Queek The HeadTakker Fapstronaut

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    You watched porn with your wife? Why? You can do those things with your wife
     
  11. Marcus Aurelius

    Marcus Aurelius Fapstronaut

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    I would be careful. I've sometimes relapsed and thought that my reaction to seeing porn again after a break was proof that I was over it. But then I go back to it the next day. And the next. And the next.
     
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  12. Jnuts

    Jnuts Fapstronaut

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    As I explained, my wife has a very low sex drive and I have a very high one.
     

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