It was not how I remembered it. My mind was conjuring up this cornucopia of whatever I wanted at the click of a mouse. It conveniently forgot about the hours of searching and not finding what I wanted. My wife and I were in bed and I wanted an orgasm, she did not. We decided to watch some porn together on her phone. She picked what it was. We skimmed through several videos. They were boring. I did end up with an orgasm but it was disappointing. I didn’t beat myself up after and I’m still not beating myself up now (was 2 days ago). I have no desire to watch any more and I’m actually glad I did it. It gave me a more realistic perspective of something I was idealizing.
Interesting! Some people might call that a relapse or criticize you, but not me. It's a good feeling to have moved on!
I would say that it is a relapse I guess. I’m going to update my counter when I’m napc and think about it. But I know from experience that beating yourself up over it just causes depression and repeated behaviour. Several more days under my belt and no desire the watch anything more.
You have an open minded wife, that is a good thing overall. Mine is too - and has no problem with me watching porn. Unfortunately it's my problem and I have to remedy it for myself. You went a long way, and sounds like you are on track again. Congratulations for your streak and realization.
Actually most of my porn watching was with my wife next to me due to our insanely missmatched sex drives.
I don't think you should consider that a relapse, as there is nothing to feel ashamed of and there is nothing to hide from your wife. I think it was some kind of "reality check" and you passed it with flying colours. I had a similar experience more than 5 months ago. That was my last relapse. I counted as a relapse because it was hidden from my wife and I wasn't sexually aroused at that moment, it was more a psychological need (I was feeling sad and anxious) than a physical need. My experience was the same, PMO didn't meet my expectations. Once you break the fantasy and see PMO as it really is (an empty act that doesn't fix anything), you have no need for that in your life. Keep doing great.
I would be careful. I've sometimes relapsed and thought that my reaction to seeing porn again after a break was proof that I was over it. But then I go back to it the next day. And the next. And the next.