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Watching girls and finding pleasure

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Legenwaitforitdary, Apr 20, 2021.

  1. Apr 20, 2021 #1
    Legenwaitforitdary

    Legenwaitforitdary Fapstronaut

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    It not at all porn. I like watching pretty girls. I can jerk off to even fully clothed girls because biggest priority for me is looks. If a girl is pretty/sexy by looks, I would search for her name, and then her pictures and videos. This is my fantasy, which I dont mind, and rather like.
    The only problem is that everyday, I want to see new pictures and videos and then find pleasure in shaking to them. However, I would keep shaking until I find something new or extremely sexy. Till then, even though I have world of work on my hand (hobbies I mean), I wont stop and keep seeking something new, that perfect video or picture to masturbate to.
    The harm it does to me is that I lose a lot of my precious hours on this and have no control. Despite fully knowing I must stop and work, do something productive but in front of this pleasure, I give up. Like today, I kept watching till 5 AM in the morning from 12AM in the night. Damn... I was sleepy, but kept surfing,, in the hope of more revealing pictures of particular actress, then another actress and it goes on. Like trying to find something previously unseen. And one search leads to another....

    I shouldnt be doing this but I do not have any motivation. I get late to work because of this, and my company cannot take any action on this, still this is so embarrassing. I have such a good life and I am wasting. No girlfriend, no social life, just endless watching. For instance, even a panty peek gives me pleasure, and I fully enjoy it. I keep searching

    Is there any way I can control... I have realized I cannot go cold turkey and masturbation is normal. However, I want to give it some discipline. Right now, it is going out of control. I have been trying to quit for 20 years, but I have realized its not possible. Can I have some accountability partner? How do I do this? I am unable to on own.

    Hope for some help... btw I am 37 now, with tons of responsibility, and should get married too. I have been masturbating since 14.
    Thanks
     
    Legenwaitforitdary, Apr 20, 2021
    Legenwaitforitdary, Apr 20, 2021
    #1
  2. Apr 20, 2021 #2
    luckydog

    luckydog Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Hard to read this, my heart goes out to you @Legenwaitforitdary - the biggest cost of porn and masturbation is the cost of our time. If I was able to tell my younger self that I could put several hours per week to a productive use (e.g. learning how to approach and talk with girls for example in my teens, learning how to properly self-care in my 20's, learning how to accelerate the career progress even faster in my 30's), what kind of man would I become in my later years?

    I've been trying to quit for 40+ years, so I have 20 years on you. :) Bottom line is willpower, magic beans, and frequent exercise with cold showers is not enough to stop this. Relationship and community however, is enough to stop this, as well as start new behaviors.

    For me I discovered that I bury my feelings with pornography and masturbation. Feelings of boredom, of loneliness, of tiredness, and of frustration - all dealt with by pornography. And sure enough as the 'high' of orgasm wears off, those feelings come back again and again. Thus the cycle repeats itself for years. Until recently, this time around, I have the involvement - and support - of others.

    Maybe you OP need to hit bottom, you haven't hit bottom yet.
     
    luckydog, Apr 20, 2021
    luckydog, Apr 20, 2021
    #2
    Ted123, Legenwaitforitdary and brassknucks like this.
  3. Apr 20, 2021 #3
    brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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    Stop pedestalizing beautiful women bro. They take nasty, smelly dumps just like everybody else. Just stop simping; its not a good look or good for your life.
     
    brassknucks, Apr 20, 2021
    brassknucks, Apr 20, 2021
    #3
    Ted123, vikingsarehere and Legenwaitforitdary like this.
  4. Apr 23, 2021 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Even if you don't watch porn, you are watching substitute for porn. It gives the same dopamine spike except for little or no nudity.
    The only advice will be to deactivate your social media, reduce your active time on internet. For porn it can be simple as to not opening P websites but Psubs are everywhere. Every site of girls can be triggering.
    Overcoming the desire to peek will take a lot of time.
    Deactivate your social media(mainly instagram) and go monk mode for few days. This is the only efficient solution.
     
    Deleted Account, Apr 23, 2021
    Deleted Account, Apr 23, 2021
    #4
  5. Apr 24, 2021 #5
    vikingsarehere

    vikingsarehere Fapstronaut

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    It's an addiction, you need to learn more on how to deal with addictions in general. You are seeking novelty and have conditioned your brain for it.
    You can try to start slowly by reducing your time spent on this habit and finding a replacement.
     
    vikingsarehere, Apr 24, 2021
    vikingsarehere, Apr 24, 2021
    #5

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