Watching P with significant other...

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by bigg9058, Nov 27, 2019.

  1. bigg9058

    bigg9058 Fapstronaut

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    Any thoughts on this?

    My wife and I on occasion watch P together as foreplay - it helps to get us in the mood a little It's not every time and it's not something we depend on, but it's a nice occasional treat. Does watching P with my wife during a re-boot count against my no-P streak?
     
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  2. Tiresias

    Tiresias Fapstronaut

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    It counts if you can’t, without justification, make it not count. That is, only you set the rules of counting or not... but if it feels like it should count, or might tip you to relapse, it counts.
     
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  3. My wife and I used to watch a lot of p0rn together, and even had an Xhamster account together, with our pic and vids on it. Only seems to happen when she's really in a naughty mood though.

    Well, we shut the account down before I started this streak, but last night in the bath she asked if we could open it again, and she was feeling naughty. (She knows I'm doing NoFap and did say we should only do it together!) I didn't know what to say, so I said 'yes' (old PMO brain still talking) but we proceeded to have some amazing sex before we even fired up a web browser, which was good.

    So, for now I'm safe again...but if she does ask again, I think I'm doomed! We used to chat to other couples during sex, watch videos, etc and ot bought out a dirty side to her:

    Threesome fantasies, anal play, long sessions, oral sex, etc.

    It seems porn brings out a naughty side in women, my wife seems like a different person.
    I'm torn in two, because I want a good, healthy sexlife with my wife (proper lovemaking), but without the porn. But it just seems to rev her up to another level! And I can't say no if she asks me again!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2019
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  4. I would say to both of you, @Wugazi32 as well as @bigg9058 that this is not something you want to play around with. I'm actually not at risk of being in that position because my wife hates porn more than just about anything. But if an addict's significant other knows about the addiction, then I'd say its pretty unrealistic and horribly risky of them to ask the addict to directly indulge in the addiction but remain sexually sober. To me, it is the EXACT same thing as the wife of an alcoholic wanting to go out for a night of drinking "just this once" because she wants to go have some fun with it. There's nothing wrong with that unless one of them is an alcoholic.

    I cannot and will never be able to strongly enough advise against this!!
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2019

  5. She knows I'm recovering and have been good and she even acknowledged this in our conversation, but I think she doesn't realise how weak I am in the knees for this stuff.

    I remember one time I was about a week into a then current streak:

    We were spooning and having sex, I didn't know she was on her phone ftom the angle I was in, and half way through she presents the phone in front of my face with one of my favourite scenes. I think it turned her on knowing it was forbidden fruit to me! I relapsed a few days later...
     
  6. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

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    How can you reboot from porn while still watching porn? Lol.
     
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