Watching PORN !! Occasionally is it not equal to Taking the lesser of two evils??

A stumble May Prevent A Fall

I am close to my 1-year NOFAP, SEMEN RETENTION Journey. Thanks to The Lord Almighty and my Guardian Angels. Getting here was not easy. Last year I moved to a place, I rent a portion and I think there was some kind of paranormal force or some very sexual deity/entity was sharing the space with me and in those days my libido was so high I feel as if I am a school going teenager who recently discovered that the penis can be used for pleasure other than to urinate. I was like hard all the time and most of the time. I am heterosexual(straight) so obviously, if I am not in a relationship with women the only choices I got was to go to a prostitute/hooker, watch porn or follows the buddha's path. I don't want to go to a prostitute or think about casual sex with some loose women and also was not thinking about Buddha's no temptation path. The only choice I was left with was PMO.
In those days I was on PMO all the time. Every night when I go to bed I pray to Lord The Almighty to help me and bring me out from this trap, trap which gives me temporary buzz and wounds my spirit. After I pray went to sleep, wakeup again in the middle of the night to do the same PMO again. FUCK THAT SH** MAN !!
There was no other option for me someone could suggest oh if you were gay or bisexual you won't struggle that bad. In all honesty that was totally unacceptable to me; I don't roll that way. I won't turn on or have any intimate thoughts with my same gender. If the worlds most good looking guy is in front I will never have any feeling other than if he is a decent bloke, with values and the same interests we can have a chat and be friends.
I am not homophobic; the problem in the 21st century is that if you are not gay it's fashion to label heterosexuals as homophobic, maybe it's the other way around those folks who are labelling us homophobic are actually heterophobic.
I believe in freedom, Whatever people do in private their lives if they are not harming others and threat to minors and the community; whatever is their sexual preference. I got nothing against them. I don't prefer to hang out with people who are different sexual orientations thou ... as in English it is a saying " a man is known by a company he keeps"
You hang out with drug dealers people think you are one of them, You hang out with sportspeople you are one of them.. that is how the world functions.
"Birds of a feather flock together"

Back to the main story. The PORN. I moved from that location to a new town and I started this journey I never said to myself that I won't watch porn.
My commitment to myself was that I won't FAP or have sex and I will go for SEMEN RETENTION, Bharmachari MODE For an indefinite time. Period.
I will carry on until I feel that there is someone ( a woman) with who I want to be in a relationship.

I did watch porn but I did not touch myself, fap or anything and actually I enjoyed the hard-on and I was like cool is getting stronger erections and then I go and take shower.
What works for me might not work for others. What I get out of this practice was self-control and also getting a quick dopamine fix (When I was feeling low and in bad mood) There are days when I am very low in energy somedays I feel as if can move mountains.

This worked for me well initially but what I learned is that It only feels good if you watch for let say 15 minutes once in a blue moon.

The danger is that porn is addictive like cocaine-snorts. Once you start browsing you just go on and on. Strange kind of porn links. Those captions enable curiosity in you, you like the porn star, looks natural and all that but she is playing Incest or you may land up at some force porn video.

At the moment of weakness, you watch it and enjoys but trust me later it will give you a GUILT TRIP. If you Fapped the guilt trip gonna be more. You know that is not actually you but you have been watching that shit and wounding your own soul.
I survived the last few days, they were really hard on me SPIRITUAL WARFARE. I didn't fap.No orgasm, I watched like for a good few were hours, couple of days. I went to different porn genres later give me a disgusted guilt feeling. Remember Guilt and FEAR both are very negative emotions and the dark forces who want to control our potential use these as tools against us. It is a TRAP which we enjoy, a buzz that is really tempting.

Whoever is reading this... I wish you all the best in your positive endeavours and your NoFap /PMO journey, I support you like a brother on this path and I also want that you support me by sending me positive energy so I can beat these temptations.
"Together we stand divided we fall" GOD BLESS !!