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Watching porn without masturbation + feels bad man (trigger warning)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Arez01, Jun 5, 2021.

  1. Arez01

    Arez01 Fapstronaut

    Today I proved that Im garbage, I watched porn without even feeling aroused, I didnt even want to touch myself I just watched it because Im an addicted scumbag and I didnt even care that much afterwards.

    I wanted to watch something soft but of course what I saw on the first page was revolting rough sex with enormous genitals, it made me feel disgusted but it didnt stop me from seeing hundreds of more porn thumbnails so I can hopefully find that one porn I watched in the past that made me hard.

    Long story short I found it and I still wasnt aroused. When I realized how much porn I saw today although it wouldnt be even too hard to stop myself because I didnt even feel like masturbating, I went to the bathroom and just screamed into my towel.

    Seems like the problem isnt too much libido anymore, its me not even caring. I didnt even care, "I will watch porn, jerk off, feel bad for some time and go on as usual", I know a lot of reasons why pmo is bad but if I dont even care about what happens to myself, other younger viewers and exploited people in this industry ghen how am I supposed to go on? Why I stopped caring?
     
  2. Kid your young quit before its too late. Your mind will make you do things you never though of to get the dopamine surge. I started porn escalating and doesn't did not care after quitting I am facing shame and guilt from all my actions. I am holding myself accountable, beginning the healing process to become a better person. I am forgiving myself for the person I used to be. I seen shit that would repulse you and that does not line with your sexuality. Your 18 and young and got the rest of your life ahead of you. Save all the pain and suffering by quitting porn cuz once you escalated you gonna get even more addicted and mostly gonna have self harm and suicidal tendencies. I was stuck in this cycle for 4 years. Bro please quit before you so something your gonna regret for the rest of your life. I know I fucked my life and wish I had done things differently and quit a lot earlier before I got in too deep. Its started of with vanilla stuff then escalated to bondage, violence, rape, public humiliation, punishment, foot and other crazy fetishes, lesbian, gay, bi, transsexual, sissy, bestiality, camgirls etc. I have pretty much felt hopeless because I developed severe OCD but I realise they are only thoughts and they don't control me anymore because I am the alpha male and I am in control not my mind. I learnt to accept them and they went away. Porn causes my OCD. I never had it before porn only when I used porn and over time it got a lot worse. I am telling you quit before you become me. I feel disgusted, ashamed and guilt. I have had two failed suicide attempts. Try beating myself up, self harming etc. The truth is your brain will do anything for more dopamine. So you are not too late cuz you have not escalated like I have. Quit today and go cold turkey. I am thankful I am alive after two failed suicide attempts. It taught me a lot of lessons not to give up on life cuz your here on earth for a reason and destined for greatness we just have to work hard to achieve our goals and we can do anything in this world. We are not gonna live forever so make the most of it now while your alive. You could die right now, in your sleep or a week from now. Our lives are like a ticking time bomb we don't have infinite time on this planet so we need to make most of it. Quit porn and become who you want to be and you will feel so proud of yourself. I am really thankful I quit because I can finally stop hiding, lying and be freed from this prison I have been living in for over a decade. Good luck and let me know how recovery goes. I wish I am 18 right now but I ain't.
     
    ruso, Revanthegrey and Arez01 like this.
  3. Arez01

    Arez01 Fapstronaut

    Thanks man.
     
    ishee likes this.
  4. Usernameallowed

    Usernameallowed Fapstronaut

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    As someone with adhd meaning my dopamine reward centres are already fucked .... My brain thrives off of dopamine it craves it relentlessly..... As said before the brain will do anything to keep getting that hit of dopamine.... Quit while your young .... Get a relationship live life the way it should be without porn without all the excess .... Humans have basic needs .... When these are met we are a happy being .... You don't need porn. Clear your head clear your mind focus on the good life not a life of excess and addiction . And you will be rewarded with happiness and peace of mind
     
    ishee and ruso like this.

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