Watching the woman you want get f by another man should be your BIGGEST TURN OFF, not your TURN ON.

Nice & brilliant point of view
Like i said before
I want to be the hero in the movie. He"s not better than me.
Stop being just reflection on the screen...

 

You just gotta get to the realisation that she is a porn actress and that you will probably NEVER have anything with her IRL and then you should be fine.
It needs to be a win-win situation.
The porn actress gets her fame and money and you get to pleasure yourself.
I don't understand why should "Vanilla porn" turn me off?
and how can you even compare it to zoophilia?

 

Again, why not?
Take me as an example ok?
I'm a straight guy, I'm single, I have some female friends but I'm not in an active relationship right now
(and also not looking for one)
Why should I avoid watching porn once in a while?

And again, you can't compare zoophilia to vanilla sex.
Zoophilia is TABOO, it's illegal and it's not normal

 

I'm not going to repeat my words.. good luck

 

If porn is bad or wrong then it should turn you off. The comparison with zoophilia is just to liken it to something that most, but not all people, would agree is bad or wrong and should turn you off.

At one time far more people thought any pornography was degenerate. They would have looked at any porn as wrong. Our culture has slowly accepted pornography as good. If you think ‘vanilla’ pornography is good why do you think it good?

 

I think this theory is faulty. It's very normal to be aroused by seeing two people having sex. Humans are empathic creatures. You see a certain behaviour, you kind of feel it yourself. It's like when you see someone in a movie eat. You get hungry yourself. You don't think "leave that burger alone, I want to eat it!".

Porn is also fantasy. In real life you might be turned off when you see a woman you have been chasing ending up with another man. But in fantasy/art, it's about what the sex you see represents. Sex is just fascinating, it's why we still exist as a species.

Now I can imagine that being addicted to porn trains the brain to be a voyeur. But I also think this changes from person to person. The best way to beat this addiction is not to categorize porn as being "faulty". Or "wrong". That's just playing the blame game. When I think of certain scenes in my head, hell, they're a work of art. Our addiction, our behaviour is wrong. Well let me rephrase that; it's not "wrong", it's just not helpful to living our lives to our fullest potential. And if we don't do that, that's a HUGE waste of our lives. Labeling things as good/bad doesn't reallyget us anywhere I think. Just makes us feel guilty. What is right for and beneficial to you, that's the question.

 

So you think it is good and normal to sit in a room and watch two people have sex while you masturbate? That is what porn is.

I think seeing a naked woman is arousing, normal, and good. But seeing her have sex with someone else is an entirely different matter.

There is morbid curiosity. This is a strange curiosity we experience to see something we shouldn’t. The term has the word morbid in it. That is because it is deadly. Just because we experience a temptation to look at something doesn’t make it good.

I disagree. Labeling my porn use bad is precisely what gets me to stop. If it was good then I’d never want to stop, nor should I. Also, I should feel guilt for doing bad things. If I robbed a store I’d hope I’d feel guilt. Now destroying myself because of guilt would be bad. But that isn’t the same as feeling bad about doing bad things.

 

"So you think it is good and normal to sit in a room and watch two people have sex while you masturbate? That is what porn is."

Those are two completely different things in my opinion:
One is masturbating in a room with two other people. The other is sitting alone with a laptop jerking off to clips. The fact that porn simulates the first doesn't at all mean that the two are the same. Really, completely different things.
Are you Iron Man when you watch a marvel movie? Are you really having sex when you watch a POV porn clip? Are you being chased by a psychopath when you watch horror?

I'm not saying jerking off to porn is beneficial btw.

And your second point I can see. I think that goes different for different kinds of people at different times of their lives. For me personally it wasn't helpful. I got crushed under the weight of the guilt which made my addiction worse. So now I try to label as helpful/unhelpful, which, to me, is quite helpful

 

I'll just reply to the last bit: Your reaction is the same. That doesn't mean it IS the same. The situation you're reacting to is completely different. The first one, however abnormal you might think it is, is a social thing. You are in a room with multiple people. And they are having sex. And you are masturbating because it arouses you. There could be multiple reasons why this is happening, maybe you pay them, maybe you're in a very free-minded group of friends where this happens occasionaly, maybe you're a swinger, to each his own.

Now this a different situation than an individual jerking off alone behind a laptop. Completely.
I get it, you have this conditioning theory which is very interesting and true in a lot of ways. I just think you lose a lot of nuance when you say things like "getting aroused by seeing two people having sex is abnormal".

When I see cute couple on the streets holding hands and sharing an icecream, I feel good for them, I empathize with that love. I'm not like "screw that female, I want to be the one sharing that ice cream with her!" When I see someone devour a meal I get hungry myself. When I see people laughing I also get giddy. And when you see people having sex, you get aroused. Can't imagine this being a new phenomena.

Off course, porn is something else: now we get to see fricking close ups all the time, hardcore sex. And yeah, being a witness to all of that is a modern phenomena and not natural. Together with seeing thousands of dicks instead of just a couple your entire lifetime.

But that doesn't mean that seeing two people having a go at it (in a normal, non hardcore porny way) is an unnatural sick thing.

 

You should publish paper. In fact write a thesis. Your peers will he amazed of such revolutionary finding. This can win you a novel prize.

 

Guys the correct feeling that u shud feel is JEALOUSY, NO matter to be AROUSED but not to ejac but to fight that man & win the woman
Ultrafabber is talking about basic instincts that our ancestors had
It"s simple but really didn"t realise it till i red that post. WE WERE BLINDED PREFERING THE EASY WAY.
i"ll be aroused & ejac while other guy is in action feeling the whole passion
While u r just seeing ur dump face in the screen reflection
That"s the message......

 

I don’t think they are completely different. But let’s say that they are. Would you feel good finding two people and paying them to have sex while your record it? Would you feel good going home afterwards and jerking off to that recording?

The reason I think it is the same is because video images do put you in the time and place. No, I’m not Iron Man while watching a movie. I am someone standing beside him watching him. No, I’m not being chased in a horror movie. I am standing beside the action watching. The watching is exactly what we are doing with porn. It is like we are in the room.

 

She’s naked that’s why! In fact I would say it’s abnormal on ur path to see a naked woman and NOT be turned on

 

This is a better POV of things LOOL

 

But you really can’t blame the porn industry tho!! It’s like blaming a business like McDonald’s for selling burgers! We call them unhealthy and all but we still want them so guess what McDonald’s is gonna do to make more money? Keep giving us burgers!
If the very first people who watched porn first (and I know this is an over exaggeration) decided not to watch it then the P industry would’ve called it a wrap and stopped because ain’t nobody wanna be naked in front of a camera for free! You gotta understand money is a motive behind most things